Like every Monday, I would like to welcome you to my favorite and personal blog, ‘Everyday Life with Mo.’ There’s always something to discuss and talk about, today ladies and gentleman, we talk about ‘Deal Breakers’ before reaching the relationship level. The things that say, “This is it, I’m not talking to you anymore.” If you don’t quite understand the term ‘Deal Breakers,’ maybe you’ve heard of Red flags.’ Let me be clear and clarify that there’s a difference between the two. A ‘Deal Breaker’ is something that pretty much cuts the possibility of anything happening between two individuals. A ‘Red Flag’ is a clear warning to proceed with caution. Now that we got that out of the way, let’s proceed.
Let me start by thanking the people who provided me with very good feedback and real life examples. As much as we would like to ignore the fact that no one in this world is perfect, there’s certain things that can’t be ignored when we date other human beings. Let’s be honest, if we are dating, it’s because there’s some type of interest, a possibility that things might move in a serious direction. At least this could be argued in the majority of cases. Now, when I say ‘Deal Breakers,’ I truly mean some of the things that are a “It was nice to meet you” type of thing.
As I conducted my usual research and survey on the topic, I became amazed knowing what some people truly consider ‘Deal Breakers.’
1. Kids- Was amongst one of the most popular responses, having kids for some of you is definitely a “Hello and goodbye.” We all have our own terms and conditions, I myself know many single mothers and fathers with children. I would say it’s better to know from the start rather than to get serious and have this problem. Others added that dealing with parental drama is one of the reasons why this is an issue itself. Some of you might already know that these things go hand in hand most but not all of the time.
2. No Car, job or goals was also a response that came in large numbers. What can I tell you? No one want’s to date someone who is dry and has no ambition. Your life doesn’t have to reflect immediate success, but it’s good to know that you have a plan. We’ll want to create that utopia in a relationship, this mean both individuals have to pull evenly. Not having either one or the three combine, can create a very difficult time looking for a partner. Let’s be clear, you might not have a job or a car, because sometimes we go through hard times. Nevertheless, having no goals has no excuse, we’ll need a plan and a visualisation of where we plan to go in life. This one came in both the ‘Deal Breaker and Red Flag’ category.
3. Jealousy- indeed was amongst the top ‘Deal Breakers’ list, if it’s not on yours, you my friends perhaps have issues. No one likes a jealous boyfriend or girlfriend but the reality is that they do exist. The one’s that are calm, the one’s who are dramatic, jealousy is without argument the cause of many failed relationships . Our actions can create such a state, but this doesn’t give anyone a legit reason to act immaturely. This is a clear sign to throw a ‘Red Flag’ or a ‘Deal Breaker’ card out immediately. Sadly, we all know a person who will put up with jealousy because they believe they can change people; the believe that jealousy is a way of showing they are cared about. I’ll share a secret, jealousy usually emerges from infidelity. If you pay close attention, you will realize that you probably know someone who acts this way.
4.Family- If the person you are seeing doesn’t get along with your family, that should be a clear ‘Deal Breaker.’ To a grand majority depending on culture, family is one of the biggest factors before entering any relationship. It happens, sometimes people can’t seem to be liked but effort is always appreciated. If you haven’t reached the relationship level and the family already dislikes you or vice-versa, perhaps moving on is good choice. Your significant other should be respectful and earn the trust an respect of family members, if the family can’t accept a person, now that’s a separate issue.
5. Materialism- The individual who’s decisions depend on how much you can provide them with. In most cases this applies to woman, but it can also apply to men as well. One of my close buddies makes great money, her old boyfriend use to shop around with her credit cards. Now that guy was materialistic, he wasn’t independent, quite frankly I advised my friend to put him down as a dependent on her taxes. Materialism should matter to a certain degree, but you shouldn’t be with anyone because of the things they can offer you. This is one of my top personal ‘Deal Breakers.’ If you’re encountering these problems before you have entered a relationship, imagine what awaits a year into it.
6. Okay, by now you must be wondering, “What is your top deal breakers sir?” As hard as it was to think about it, one thing kept circulating my brain. My number one ‘Deal Breaker’ is fitness. I can’t see myself with a person who doesn’t worry about the way they look. As shallow as it might sound, I’m a fitness nut, I like my woman to have the urge to look good for themselves and their partner. People always ask me, “What if she gains 30 pounds?” Well baby, I loved you 30 pounds ago. These are things you need to know about a person ahead of time, good genes come to an end, someone with no ambition to look good get’s the ‘Deal Breaker’ card from me.
The list of ‘Deal Breakers’ is infinite, it can keep going on forever, we’ll have our personal ‘Deal Breakers.’ Albeit it’s better to know from the start what you’re getting in to. If you decide to put up with anything that might be a ‘Deal Breaker,’ it is indeed a personal choice. Before I let you guys go, I’ll leave with the list of ‘Red Flags’ many of you guys provided.
Talks about Ex constantly
Texting non stop during a date
No education (Doesn’t mean you can’t be successful)
Never answers calls always sends text MSG
Trying to impress too hard
Can’t hold an intellectual conversation
No sense of humor
Eating unhealthy daily
Lying while only dating
Wears ugly shoes
doesn’t know how to dress
Doesn’t offer to pay
Ask to pay half on a date (I know a guy like that haha)
Needy and clingy
Cheesy lines ( “Touch my sweater, come on touch it, you know what it’s made of? Boyfriend material!”)
Uses Facebook to grab attention with provocative pictures (Lingerie pics when you’re not a model)
Once again let me thank everybody who replied with great feedback and real life examples. Please share this with your friends on Twitter and Facebook accounts. Share some of your experiences, Deal Breakers and Red Flags. Subscribe to my blog and follow me on Twitter @mlinares10.