Are you mature when it comes to relationships and dating?
For too long we’ve been taught that maturity comes with age and the number of experiences we go through in life. Dolefully, this my friend isn’t true, age doesn’t define maturity despite the fact that many people believe it does. If you’re asking, “please define mature sir?” Well, since you brought it up, the definition that most fits my point is; “Having reached full natural growth or development.” That development can be mental, we all lack maturity in some areas of our lives. There’s no such thing as a perfect human being. With all this said, let’s cut it down just a little more. We’ll know teenagers are immature in most cases, we also know that most women act or reach maturity faster than men.
When it comes to relationships and dating, how do you define mature? We’ve all, or most of us have experienced some type of break, a point in a relationship, or an emerging relationship (Dating) where there’s an end to things. Do you remember the old high school days where your friends or perhaps yourself would end a relationship? Yes, the day when your named got trashed or you defamed someone for the rest of their high school days. You were a teenager, you had an excuse to be dumb, naive and pretty much immature. The older you got, the more you claimed to have grown up, to have changed, to have learned from those young days.
Did you really?
If you paid attention, most people didn’t change, they continued cheating, lying, deceiving the people around them while claiming to be “mature.” In a recent conversation with a close friend, we exchanged stories about past relationship and people we’ve dated. This girlfriend had dated a man, or a boy to be more accurate, that had ended their relationship through a text message. I shook my head, but not in disbelieve. This boy had decided to put an end to a long relationship via text message and email. When my friend confronted this boy, the ex simply couldn’t do it face to face. He was to immature to say things weren’t working out, or to explain they’ve grown apart. Besides being immature, I told my friend that this person was really a coward, why? because as adults, either man or woman, the right thing would be to confront such a problem face to face, not via text or email. Don’t get it wrong, the word coward or immature has no gender, they come in all shapes and sizes. Beautiful, ugly, handsome or gorgeous, appearances can be deceiving.
Nonetheless, our society has taken things to the next level, we don’t call people, we text them because it’s simply easier to deal with things that way. Despite all that, a breakup should never be handled via text or email. It’s not the adult thing to do, I’m sure our parents thought us that lesson when we were kids. At least some of our fathers explained the “do’s and don’t” of marriage or relationships. This is where you stop, take a deep breath and realize that the number of adults who act their age is less than the number acting like children.
Back to my friend
She proceeded to explain that her ex was mature, that he was different until it came to that breakup. Hmm, seems to me like that act of a child, when I was a kid, I would write notes asking girls if they liked me or not, (circle yes or no.) It was hard to explain to my friend that being older doesn’t necessarily mean you have learned what relationships are all about. I’ll tell you the story of a woman I dated, she was attracting, beautiful, hard worker, yet when things didn’t work out, she decided to send me a text. I decided to call and actually try to fix things, she wasn’t able to pick up, instead she text me saying “I can’t do this.” Whatever that meant was enough reason for her to end things. I believe in respecting people’s decisions, you have to accept things and part ways on certain occasions. If you believe that immature people can be changed by your actions, let me tell you that you’re on the wrong path.
I’ll ask you this, if you have a friend that dates a bad person, one of those man or woman who have bad all over them, are they mature? Staying in a relationship or trying to fix something broken is another form of being immature. Yet again, human beings are creatures of habit. We get use to things and people to the point that it becomes really difficult to let them go and move on. Theres occasions when things can be salvaged but that’s hardly the case wouldn’t you agree?
I will reiterate that my blog is not about putting anyone on out there, okay, I’m lying, I enjoy doing this. Karma, isn’t it a bitch? Don’t worry, we can talk about that next week with more details. Today we can remain focus on dating and being in relationship with “mature” adults.
In case you’re wondering, yes, this goes out to some of the the guys I know, we tend to disagree on many things. I stopped believing in playing relationships and dating games. Like many of the women that I know, I’m very upfront, my memory is pretty awesome and I tend not to forget things that easily, it’s those Omega 369 I tell you. They say they’re good for the brain, perhaps that’s why my memory remains in tact.
If a man or woman hasn’t cherished you after all the things you’ve done in a relationship, don’t expect them to change all of a sudden. Sometimes it takes hard lessons in life for us to really value the important things in front of us. To be mature is to have the mental capacity to handle things like real adults. To hold your ground and refrained from using derogatory language. It’s the ability to be able to confront things head on and walk away when things aren’t working with your gentleman or lady card in hand. I constantly run in to my ex girlfriend and even though I would have a valid point to not talk to her, I rather say “hello,” give her a kiss on the cheek and walk away. When it came down to it, I didn’t lose as much as she did, (Gentleman card still in my hand.)
We’re not perfect, men nor women can declare perfection in a world with flaws. It’s time to start acting our age, the party days come to an end eventually. Today is simply a good day to let some of the people around you know, “I see your immaturity.” For those that think that maturity is a fancy car, job or wearing heels, you have it twisted. Maturity is owning up to your actions and feelings face to face, not in a cowardly text or email. I’m not making this up, this is some real stuff many of you might agree with. If you’re making funny faces at the screen, perhaps you fit into this category of immature people. The older you get, the more embarrassed you should be to act in such a manner.
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