My epic birthday
I’m sure most of you are probably thinking, “Wait Every Day Life With Mo, it’s only Wednesday man!” I know right? Why am I writing today? Usually it’s only Mondays and Thursdays. Well it’s my birthday and there’s no way I was going to leave you guys in suspense. I celebrated my birthday a few days earlier, invited 300 friends and over 50 showed up, at least I remember seeing near 50. This birthday was epic, the sad part was the fact that I can’t remember a damn thing. Therefore the friends who were there provided me with the information and stories you’re about to hear. Half the night was a blur and unexpected things took place. To begin, I was told I kissed around 10 woman, had around 20 shots, flexed my abs that are unfit in front of the ladies, got kicked out of the club twice, got punched in the face but I can’t remember any of it.
If you’re reading this and saying, “How could you?” Well it was my birthday and I’m single, which is the perfect excuse to act like a fool on MY BIRTHDAY. To be honest, it’s unfortunate I can’t remember the things that occurred. The next morning I woke up in my friend’s house looking for my phone but it was gone, nowhere to be found, I was more than convinced it had evidence, “surely you can’t be serious? I’m serious but don’t cal me surely.” I got on a laptop as the emails and Facebook messages came in, informing me of the mayhem I had caused. “Dude you were wild last night!” Others stated, “You know how to party my friend.” One of the following messages said, “How many friends do you have man?” I paused and realized I couldn’t remember any of the things my friends were talking about. “Do you remember kissing this person and this person?” I thought it over for a second but nothing connected. “Thank you for proving that all man are assholes,” was my personal favorite. I’ve never been an asshole, any person who knows me, can tell you that I’m quite the opposite, “Oh liquor, I hate you so much but you made my night memorable.”
I got to the club, made line for bottle service, came in like I was really cool, usually I hang out with a friend they call Mr. Bottle Service who was with me. After waiting, we walked in and got to our table, as soon as I got in, I noticed many of my friends were already there. The hugs started to come in and the shots did as well. My plan was simple, survive the night and remember everything that happens. I made sure my friends were aware that my table was located over looking the dance floor. I invited everyone up to join my table, by the time I look back, my private area looked like a crowded metro bus. I was having a great time therefore nothing mattered, all I wanted to do was dance the night away. The first friend caught me by the bar, “Hey baby boy, I got you a shot!” I starred at him and thought, “Here we go.” I took my shot like a champion, turned around and discover a line of friends waiting to buy me shots and none of them taking “NO” for an answer.
By the time I’m done taking shots, I managed to sneak my way out and head to the restroom. Funny they’re called RESTROOMS because I was literally resting from all the drinking. At this point I’m hiding and avoiding alcohol, when I come out I find more friends looking for me. I was under the influence but I can clearly remember everything that took place. I started dancing with some of my friends, three girls and one guy, while the man that usually stand around just observed my moves. They didn’t know it was my birthday therefore I’m sure they were wondering, “What’s so special about that guy.”
I made my way back to the table where I had a single drink from the bottles we purchased, the only drink I recall having there. The DJ is on fire and I’m dancing like it’s 1999, that was my plan all along, to party like it was 1999 and I did. I was wearing white pants and a pink shirt, you might be thinking “Wait a minute man!” but to tell you the truth, my little sister is a fashionista, she approves all my outfits. It was a hit, the ladies loved it, I got extra kisses on the cheek because I was told to be and look very sympathetic. The thing about this night was that I was a one man wolf pack, I was seen walking around the club like it was my house, in other words, I was beyond comfortable. Remember when Owen Wilson goes solo in the Wedding Crashers? That was me on this night. It didn’t really matter because I lived it up like never before. I did stop and wonder what it would feel to have a girlfriend on my birthday, but then I stopped myself and thought “Fuck that man! I’m single and having fun, what more do you want!”
The party kept going but my mind slowly started to shutdown, everything started to become images and blurs. Friends kept making it inside the club but I don’t remember seeing many of them. Their prove was all the pictures they sent the next morning. The second part of the night became a Cannon Camera, images in my mind that only I can recall. Snap, snap, snap is what I can recollect from the second half of the night. My friends say that this is where I started to wild out but clearly I don’t recall any of the things I did. According to the people there, I went on a kissing spree with my birthday card, I kissed woman left and right,(sigh) “If only I could remember, I’m still thinking about it. The pictures came in, I was all over the place, and everyone agreed with the statement the following morning. All my friends cheered as the DJ sent me several birthday shout-outs, sadly I can’t remember any of them.
I was relentless on women, my sisters can testify to the fact that I tried kissing a high number of them.In my sober stage I would be to shy to ever pull out such a stunt. I don’t know if any of the girls I kissed got angry but at least I didn’t get slapped around. A few did tell me they gave me a pass because it was my birthday, “ching-ching.” I got kicked out of the club for being intoxicated, a few girls followed me outside to wait for me to sober up. They tried to convince me to relax but in a sudden turn, I evaded the bouncers and found myself back inside partying it up. How did I do that? I have no idea. The girls were officially out of the club and I was back in some way and some how. (Ladies please forgive me for that move and understand I can’t remember because I was heavily sedated on Patron.)
On my way back to the club, one of my friends followed me to make sure I was okay, he says I was still hitting on all the ladies. Something I would probably never due without alcohol in my system. I found myself dancing with someone’s girlfriend, which led me to getting sucker punched by a guy on the side of my head. After asking my friend Gemo, he said the following: “You were walking through the dance floor stating it was your birthday, you started dancing with a girl, I think you kissed her but I didn’t think she had a boyfriend because she didn’t say anything. When all of a sudden out of nowhere this guy came in and punched you. I jumped and punched him back and a fight broke out!” Say what?
My friend was kicked out of the club, when I found out the next morning what had taken place, I felt guilty. I apologized to my friend because there was really nothing else I could do at the point.
As the night progressed, I made it back to the table were I flexed my abs like the “Situation.” My sisters say the cameras started to flash as everyone wanted immortalized my current state (Beyond intoxicated.) This was really embarrassing, something I can’t picture doing in a sane state of mind. “Wooooooo woooo Situation, situation,” yelled my female friends, If I could remember I would truly tell you what exactly was going through my mind. I’m sure if you asked me to take my shirt off for the heck of it, I wouldn’t do it, at least the girls loved the show. The past few days have served as a reminder of all the things I did. Epic? That’s probably to nice of a word to describe what happened.
My sister’s friend bought an extra bottle of Hennessy which one of my sisters was drinking imitating Kanye West, the girl was acting like it was her birthday. I eventually found my phone the next day, I had over 60 text messages and plenty of pictures to remind me of the things I had done the previous night. I also had about 5 new numbers I don’t remember asking for. Yes, I did relive the hangover by myself and it was a hell of a time as well, at least the things I do recall. I’m just wondering, Why can’t I remember kissing around 10 girls? I wished that would happen when I’m sober. I lost count of the number of shots I had, but why count when you’re having fun, (around 20 is the rumor.) Why get kicked out of the club once when you can do it twice (Getting kicked zero times is always better.) I’m sure this birthday will go down in the history books. Now it’s time to get serious and back to work because I’ve been blessed with another year of life and wonderful friends.
Thank you for reading, I hope you had a good laugh, drop me a comment and please share this with your friends. It’s simple, click on your social media site of preference. See you next time my friends, follow me Twitter: @mlinares10