Long distance relationships

They say love can’t be defined by the distance between two persons living far away from each other trying to maintain a relationship. Truth be told, relationships alone are hard to keep together, anything too easy might not be as real as one believes.

If love is hard up close and personal, could you picture loving someone far away? Yes, we have our soldiers, our doctors, journalist who often get sent far away for work purposes. For those particular cases we can say an exception can be made. With that said, what happens when Mr. Right and Ms. Wonderful live thousands of miles away from each other? You might of met thee person in an unexpected place and took off and ran with it.

Long Distance

The long talks at night and the weekends, the interesting conversations that seem to never end, “You hang up, no, you hang up!” The sweet little comments, “I miss you so much.” Yes, verbally long distance relationships become solid, but words can only travel so far. The true test lies within trust, the hardest thing to accomplish in a long distance relationship. Human beings need attention and physical affection which create the biggest test for the two involved.

I’ve met countless people that clearly state that they would never be part of a long distance relationship. It’s a beating to the heart when there’s love involved. How would I know that?

Yes, I did it

I was once in love with a girl across the country, even though I was only a kid then, I experienced long distance puppy love. The first girlfriend is cousins with one of my best friends. This relationship was a bitter sweet relationship because as a teenager you tend to act on impulse and spontaneity. Back then it was all great, I travelled across the country every few months, things I would not be able to do today.

Terms

Every long distance relationship has terms, rules, regulations etc. Talk every night was probably the number one rule. My time was limitless then, I could spend as much time talking because I didn’t work full time. But with time you start to learn that things change, goals change, obstacles are encountered and people plan a future that will shape those aspirations. Well, this might only be true for people who make goals and chase their dreams.

Do they work?

Long distance relationship might be a nice experience but honestly speaking, only one in 10 of those relationships will probably work and make it all the way. Those are indeed the relationships that have a solid plan of what and when things will happen. Everything else is deemed to fail as sad and harsh as it might sound.

One of my close friends who is a journalist left his home city to work out of state as a reporter. The problem wasn’t him leaving the city, it was him also leaving his girlfriend at the time there as well. He obviously turned to long distance but she couldn’t deal with it and broke it off. May I remind you that she broke it off after being madly in love with my good friend. TRUST, the hardest thing to maintain in any relationship, specially in these type of relationships. One lie might lead to huge arguments and problems even when the lie might of been over the dumbest thing.

A few days ago I went out with a friend when all of a sudden his phone rang. We were driving when he asked me to not say a word, he reached out and turned the radio off. He answered the phone and suddenly his tone of voice changed, “Hi baby, I miss you,” My head turned about 90 degrees as I stared at him. He didn’t have to explain anything to me, I knew that tone of voice, plus he had previously mentioned he met a girl while on vacation.

10 years ago when I was in a long distance relationship, this guy was one of the many persons who told me how dumb I was for trying such a crazy thing. I smiled and contained the desire to burst out in laughter as he talked on the phone. Back then we were kids, today in our 20’s, here was my friend with symptoms of long distance love. On his way to start perhaps one of the hardest things he’ll ever experience, it’s a bumpy road therefore I told him to buckle up.

Let’s be honest here, physical affection is the hardest things to obtain in a long distance relationship. Skype won’t meet those needs and every few months practically makes you a priest or nun, therefore what do you usually think follows? Unfortunately cheating is one of the most common things in a long distance relationships. Not because you’re in love with someone else but for the reason that everyone needs attention and as good as a distant relationship might seem, that affection will always lack.

Don’t kill the mesanger

Some of you might be in a long distance relationship therefore don’t get angry at me for stating the obvious. We can’t be oblivious to the things that really happen behind the scenes of a long distance relationship. They’re fun and you’ll learn things about communication you could only imagine. Despite all that, it’s a gamble you’re playing with your heart. No one guarantees you that things will be successful, the experience is indeed one that you will always remember. My advice would be to follow your heart but always expect the worse until proven otherwise.

Just remember what they say, “Long distance love is love for four,” or “Ain’t no mountain high enough, ain’t no river wide enough to keep me away from you.” Thanks for reading and feel free to share. Follow me on twitter: @mlinares10.

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Picture credit:

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