“Be aggressive, be, be aggressive!”
The one piece of advice I give all my shy male friends, wait a minute, I’m not Dr. Hitch or “Flavio.” When I say aggressive I truly mean seize every opportunity that might present itself in front of you. Don’t be out of hand or act like a douche even though that’s a possibility depending the scenario you might find yourself in.
I happen to know some of the most down to earth, romantic, sweet guys you can possibly meet. For some reason these are the same guys that can’t land a girlfriend because they’re way to nice. Mr. Nice guy always ends up last with the MAJORITY of girls nowadays. The problem with some of my friends is that they end up in the friend zone with the girls they’re after. They become that friend girls can rely on, the one they confine all their secrets to. Imagine listening to a person you’re interested in talking about a guy/girl who’s done her/him wrong, Ouch!
The problem with Mr. Nice Guy is that he won’t take any risk because he’s afraid of rejection. Yes, afraid that the person they’re trying to pursue will say “NO” an with that they will also lose a friend. This blog is dedicated to one of the most charismatic guys I’ve had the pleasure of meeting up to day. A true friend who’s always been there when I needed a friend to listen or help me on a professional level. Despite that, this goes out to all the nice guys out there that are too afraid to make a move.
My friend has a serious problem, he can’t pull the trigger, he’s simply too damn nice for his own sake. We talked about some of his past experiences where the ladies have practically asked him out because he’s shy or doesn’t want to be seen in negative way, “thirsty” some may say. After questioning the guy for about an hour, I found out that he’s never pulled the trigger. On the occasions he’s had awesome nights or vacations, it’s been due to the persistence of his female friends.
He proceeded to tell me about an experience where he was out of the country with a group of friends. A girl who he was practically in love with was also in that group. After pretty much entering the “Friend zone,” Mr. Nice guy had the opportunity to seal the deal and declare his love for this woman. He had been waiting for this moment for quite sometime and here it was. A day where the group split up which left my friend and this woman he “loved” alone. One room, one bed, one night, alcohol and two adults who’ve known each other for a while. He described the scenario, all green lights indicating, “I want you so make a move.”
If you’re wondering, no it didn’t happen because Mr. Nice was too afraid to risk anything. A couple of years later my friend is still talking about it, while his female friend has moved out of state and getting ready to possibly get married. After all the signs, my friend left with nothing. When the conversation between my friend and I was over, I promised myself to make this guy into a gambler. Turn him into a risk taker not afraid to be spontaneous when it comes to talking to women. Yet talking to my friend only led me think profoundly about the rest of the nice guys that have this problem.
To all of you guys that are in that same boat, I say this to you, “Be aggressive.” You’re better off with a rejection than living in the “What if” state of mind. Rejection is a feeling that should become natural, one that you can brush off your shoulders with out much difficulty. I’m not Mr. Perfect but I do know my good amount of rejections, at this point they truly don’t matter, you can’t win big if you don’t take risk. You’ll always end up even which is not winning at all.
Women like a blend of that bad boy/nice guy type of man.They say they want a man who will act this way and do this or that but they date the opposite. Mr. Nice guy, learn how to blow their minds away by simply being yourself. You’re already good but now you have to be great. I can’t promise you 9’s or 10’s because that takes work. You have to learn how to crawl before you learn how to walk. Let’s clarify that the look scale should be the last thing you should worry about. Albeit, I’m sure you’ve seen not so great looking guys with beautiful women and say to yourself, “How the heck did he end up with her?” If the guy is not a millionaire, he must be a charmer, hard worker and definitely knows how to talk.
Can you see yourself now?
I’m not teaching you lines, or how to speak to women because every man has a different personality, we’re all different despite what women might say. I’m simply telling you to take more risk if you want to find a woman worth keeping. People will never know what you want unless you ask and say what’s on your mind. Have you ever walked into a restaurant and stared at the menu waiting for the waiter to guess what you’re in the mood for? It doesn’t work that way right? You have to learn how to talk, the smoother the better but this has to be genuine and not an act you’re putting up. Eventually those who put up an act get exposed and that’s as far as they go.
Mr. Nice Guy usually has something that other guys don’t have, they’re ambitious and career oriented. They’re usually a package but that soft nice guy personality kills it for them. The good thing is that all these things can be changed, these are not life commitment traits in a person. You can always be Mr. Nice Guy but you need to add more weapons to your armour. I’ve never seen a fool go to war with a pistol, pack your grenades, machine guns, tanks, the air force and anything that will lead you to victory. You don’t have to be Mr. Nice guy any more. Pack a punch and take a risk, there’s no such thing as losing here!
Thank you for reading and feel free to share with any of the nice guys you might know. Simply click on your social media site of preference and follow me on Twitter: @mlinares10.