Can mistakes define us?

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Here we are again, just my thoughts and a computer and all of you reading this entry. Well let’s go, let’s get to it. Too much time has passed since I put my thoughts and opinions in writing, even after knowing that it helps you put many things in perspective. You can call it therapeutic if you’d like.

Can we be defined by specific mistakes in this life? The first person that comes to mind is Ray Rice and Adrian Peterson, unfortunately their mistakes weigh more than the mistakes committed by the average person.

In the case of Ray Rice, it was the first and only time something of that magnitude occurred according to the ex Ravens running back. But I don’t want to take it all the way there. I’m not here to analyze the Rice domestic violence case, I’m pretty sure we’ve seen it enough on television to the point that it makes us sick. I’m here to talk about you and I. Can a single mistake change things for us to the point where you re-direct the outcome of a specific goal? Unfortunately it can, why? Because we’ve made the mistake, the outcome might no longer be under your control. It starts to slip away like sand between your fingers.

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Let’s take it a step further, we’re now talking about relationships and dating. You decided to go out on a date and something happened, doesn’t matter what occurred, just know it wasn’t your greatest moment. Men or women are both included in this conversation. Does that moment define who you are? No it does not. Can it define what will happen from that point forward? Yes! Because something unexpected just happened and you’ve practically handed all the power (power to choose) to the other person. One of the biggest mistakes we make or have made in the past, myself included. Is the fact that we think we have a right to act the way we do in those specific moments. Ma’am, sir let me tell you that you’re wrong.

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If you’ve made the mistake of f’ing up an entire night with a bad episode of cops, your options are very limited. The first one would be admitting that you screwed up big time and apologizing while taking full responsibility. Now hold on a second, that does not mean you will be forgiven or that your sins will be washed away. On the contrary you better pray The Lord himself touches some hearts in order to be able to clean the image you probably created in someone else’s head. Nevertheless, saying “I’m sorry” seems to be one of the toughest things to do for our generation.

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People simply don’t like admitting when they’re wrong or when they’ve made a mistake. Most people would rather let things end and die out before apologizing. Imagine playing a sport where the clock is winding down and you never took the final shot, you didn’t even try. In other words, you can’t undo your wrongs if you don’t get up and try. Our generation is full of egos and pride in case you haven’t noticed. No one can force you to man up, (woman up) and try to find a solution.

Reminds me of an ex girlfriend who use to get hammered at every party, family gathering. The girl simply couldn’t stop going ham in public to the point I didn’t want to go out with her anymore. “You do your thing and I’ll do mine.” We honestly got to that point. That’s not an example of a mistake, just who the girl was at the time. These days I hear she’s change a little, good for her. Therefore let’s not confuse a mistake with who a person really is. Sometimes we tend to put labels and that could suck big time for anyone.

So your apology didn’t make it, you didn’t cut it, you weren’t forgiven. Hey, it happens and you have to deal with the consequences. Sorry to break your heart is just how life works nowadays. Regardless, you’ve taken action and done something most people won’t do. You’ve said you’re sorry. You’ve tried to mend things and sometimes that’s all you have. Most importantly you learn and you grow. Trust me when I say everyone, and I mean everyone makes mistakes at one point or another. The perfect man or woman does not exist! And just to be clear, will never exist.

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So let’s go back to step one, does the moment define who we are? No it does not. Can it define what might happen? It definitely can if the other person decides it that way. What can we do? The right thing, apologize, explain what happened and hope things work out for the best. That’s just how life works, it’s called being an adult about things. Don’t worry, it already happened and you can’t dwell on the past. It will drive you nuts. What you could do is avoid repeating it again because at that point, “Houston we have a problem.” Best of luck to you ladies and gentleman that have ever experienced something of that sort.

I personally have a picture of a quote I found years ago, “Don’t carry your mistakes around with you, instead place them under your feet and use them as stepping stones.”

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