Do Gentleman still exist?

Do Gentleman still Exist?

It wasn’t long ago that I ran into a Facebook post that asked if there were any gentleman left. Well friends, lady friends more than anything, yes they do!

Before I start running my fingers on this key board, let’s define what a gentleman is. The definition and meaning of the term has changed throughout the past centuries. What a gentleman means today, is not what people believed over 100 years ago. Really quick, a long time ago, a very long time ago, a gentleman was a man of wealth and power. Which implies that in order to be a gentleman you needed to be wealthy or have some sort of wealth. To a certain extend, a gentleman was a man who had income that derived from property, legacy or some other source according to John Selden author of Titles of Honour (1614.)
With that out of the way, let’s get to present time where the term has completely taken a turn for the better good we can say. In order to be a gentleman you no longer need to be wealthy. To be a gentleman in present time, signifies treating others and specially woman in a respectful manner.
We can say this is something you should’ve learned from your mother when you were just a young lad. Are there any gentleman left nowadays? The answer is “Yes,” the question certain woman should be asking is, “where am I looking for my gentleman?” Every married woman or those in relationships should be with their perfect gentleman.

The problem today is that woman think they’re going to go into a club and find a gentleman, (Not saying there might not be one or two, but realistically it’s difficult to find one in such places.) Have you ever noticed women always look for a gentleman once they’ve had several bad experiences? well a lot of them do, at least in my opinion. I’ve personally noticed a lot of women talk about the topic, I’ve always wondered why it takes them so long to realized they’ve been dating douche bags who really don’t appreciate them. Yet it’s a matter of choice, many woman decide to stay in relationships with guys who are nowhere near being a gentleman.
What ever happen to the men who would open a car door, write you a poem, letter, pulled your chair when you were about to have dinner? Answer: They’re right there, most of the time they are referred to as the “nice guys.” Have you ever heard this before?
Woman: “He is just to nice, I need him to be little tough.”
Me: “What exactly do you want him to do? treat you like $%^&?”
I have a friend named John David who is happily married, the guy has two kids and trust me when I say my friend Gloria is a lucky woman. This gentleman might not be perfect because who’s perfect? The truth is, the guy is a true gentleman (1920’s type) and the people who know him can agree with that statement. Like I said before, every woman in a relationship should refer to her partner as her gentleman. The reason you’re with any men, is because he should compliment you an not justify your existence, as my best friends would say. I know too many great woman, it’s actually sad to see how they decide to stick to men who don’t show them the respect they deserve. Being a gentleman is not a title any man can give himself, is one of those things where actions speak louder than words.

Not gentleman like conduct:
Insults you and calls you words I won’t say.
Tells you he can do better than you.
Talks bad about your friends for no apparent reason.
Brings up your past when he wasn’t even part of your life at the time.
Can’t let go of the past.
Does more harm than good.

Gentleman Conduct:
Observes and compliments the little things about you.
Opens the door when you get in the car.
Only pays attention to you when your together.
Knows what to tell you when you feel down.
Looks beyond your past.
Understands and walks away peacefully when you decide to break things off (because he is too nice for you.)

The list goes on an on for days, if you know what I mean. Gentleman still exist, it’s all a matter of choice. They say that nice guys never get the girl, I beg to differ. Nice guys always end up with the family an not divorced. Even though being the nice guys can have certain consequences like I mentioned in my previous blog.

Can assholes (excuse my language) become gentleman? Yes, but it’s not as easy as it might sound. If you’re a guy and you are a douche, you need to work twice as hard to prove you are worthy of such term. Ladies, let’s quit complaining and perhaps give the nice guys a shot for once. In the end if you decide to go with the bad boy, you will also have to pay the consequences of your choice. Quit asking where the gentleman are, haven’t you noticed every time you ask where the gentleman are, an asshole is the first one to respond.
Asshole response: “Woman don’t want gentleman, they want a douche bag bla ba bla.”
Nevertheless I thought this was a very interesting topic to come across, therefore I decided to dedicate this to all my female friends. In order to land a good guy, you need to value yourself just a little bit more. Most of you ladies are great woman, all you need to do is show it. Hint, I said most of you, not all of you make the cut unfortunately. Just because you’re a hard worker, doesn’t mean you are a good woman, just to make that clear.
On that note, see you next week. Please feel free to share this blog with your friends, simply click on your social media site of preference.

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Mr. Nice Guy

“Be aggressive, be, be aggressive!”

The one piece of advice I give all my shy male friends, wait a minute, I’m not Dr. Hitch or “Flavio.” When I say aggressive I truly mean seize every opportunity that might present itself in front of you. Don’t be out of hand or act like a douche even though that’s a possibility depending the scenario you might find yourself in.

I happen to know some of the most down to earth, romantic, sweet guys you can possibly meet. For some reason these are the same guys that can’t land a girlfriend because they’re way to nice. Mr. Nice guy always ends up last with the MAJORITY of girls nowadays. The problem with some of my friends is that they end up in the friend zone with the girls they’re after. They become that friend girls can rely on, the one they confine all their secrets to. Imagine listening to a person you’re interested in talking about a guy/girl who’s done her/him wrong, Ouch!

The problem with Mr. Nice Guy is that he won’t take any risk because he’s afraid of rejection. Yes, afraid that the person they’re trying to pursue will say “NO” an with that they will also lose a friend. This blog is dedicated to one of the most charismatic guys I’ve had the pleasure of meeting up to day. A true friend who’s always been there when I needed a friend to listen or help me on a professional level. Despite that, this goes out to all the nice guys out there that are too afraid to make a move.

My friend has a serious problem, he can’t pull the trigger, he’s simply too damn nice for his own sake. We talked about some of his past experiences where the ladies have practically asked him out because he’s shy or doesn’t want to be seen in negative way, “thirsty” some may say. After questioning the guy for about an hour, I found out that he’s never pulled the trigger. On the occasions he’s had awesome nights or vacations, it’s been due to the persistence of his female friends.

He proceeded to tell me about an experience where he was out of the country with a group of friends. A girl who he was practically in love with was also in that group. After pretty much entering the “Friend zone,” Mr. Nice guy had the opportunity to seal the deal and declare his love for this woman. He had been waiting for this moment for quite sometime and here it was. A day where the group split up which left my friend and this woman he “loved” alone. One room, one bed, one night, alcohol and two adults who’ve known each other for a while. He described the scenario, all green lights indicating, “I want you so make a move.”

If you’re wondering, no it didn’t happen because Mr. Nice was too afraid to risk anything. A couple of years later my friend is still talking about it, while his female friend has moved out of state and getting ready to possibly get married. After all the signs, my friend left with nothing. When the conversation between my friend and I was over, I promised myself to make this guy into a gambler. Turn him into a risk taker not afraid to be spontaneous when it comes to talking to women. Yet talking to my friend only led me think profoundly about the rest of the nice guys that have this problem.

To all of you guys that are in that same boat, I say this to you, “Be aggressive.” You’re better off with a rejection than living in the “What if” state of mind. Rejection is a feeling that should become natural, one that you can brush off your shoulders with out much difficulty. I’m not Mr. Perfect but I do know my good amount of rejections, at this point they truly don’t matter, you can’t win big if you don’t take risk. You’ll always end up even which is not winning at all.

Women like a blend of that bad boy/nice guy type of man.They say they want a man who will act this way and do this or that but they date the opposite. Mr. Nice guy, learn how to blow their minds away by simply being yourself. You’re already good but now you have to be great. I can’t promise you 9’s or 10’s because that takes work. You have to learn how to crawl before you learn how to walk. Let’s clarify that the look scale should be the last thing you should worry about. Albeit, I’m sure you’ve seen not so great looking guys with beautiful women and say to yourself, “How the heck did he end up with her?” If the guy is not a millionaire, he must be a charmer, hard worker and definitely knows how to talk.

Can you see yourself now?

I’m not teaching you lines, or how to speak to women because every man has a different personality, we’re all different despite what women might say. I’m simply telling you to take more risk if you want to find a woman worth keeping. People will never know what you want unless you ask and say what’s on your mind. Have you ever walked into a restaurant and stared at the menu waiting for the waiter to guess what you’re in the mood for? It doesn’t work that way right? You have to learn how to talk, the smoother the better but this has to be genuine and not an act you’re putting up. Eventually those who put up an act get exposed and that’s as far as they go.

Mr. Nice Guy usually has something that other guys don’t have, they’re ambitious and career oriented. They’re usually a package but that soft nice guy personality kills it for them. The good thing is that all these things can be changed, these are not life commitment traits in a person. You can always be Mr. Nice Guy but you need to add more weapons to your armour. I’ve never seen a fool go to war with a pistol, pack your grenades, machine guns, tanks, the air force and anything that will lead you to victory. You don’t have to be Mr. Nice guy any more. Pack a punch and take a risk, there’s no such thing as losing here!

Thank you for reading and feel free to share with any of the nice guys you might know. Simply click on your social media site of preference and follow me on Twitter: @mlinares10.

The douche bag

If you’ve ever wondered why the men you date are douche bags, let me try to touch surface this Monday. When Google, Bing or the internet doesn’t supply me with the answers I seek, I write a blog to keep you folks entertained. As a young man, I’ve come to learn the in and outs of the male mind when it comes to women. This doesn’t mean I’m an expert on the field but I am very knowledgeable on the topic.

I’ve come to realize that if there’s one thing women really love about myself, is the bluntness when it comes to talking about men. The number of my female friends who seek a harsh but honest answer always increases. To the point where some of the woman I’ve dated in the past still keep in touch and often call with questions. Yes, concerns about their new guys and things that might be happening. Believe me when I say that this was not something I had planned for myself five years ago. Nonetheless, It’s something I’ve began to really enjoy because It also helps me learn and validate the things I already know.

I’m not the perfect man therefore I suggest you hold on before you write me that email asking for a date (joke.) One of my good buddies recently called telling me how she got stood up by a douche bag, yes, she waited and he never showed up. I personally wanted to see the guy just to punch him in the face, no women or men should ever have to put up with a situation of that sort. Then I remembered that I can’t get in any of that type of trouble if I want to seek a career in my field.

Why are douche bags douches?

There’s really not a specific definition, everyone has a different explanation specially woman because they deal with them the most. Douche bags could be defined as pompous an egotistical. You don’t have to be a good looking guy to be a douche bag, that’s perhaps a big misconception out in the real world. Douche bags like to believe they’re are God’s gift to the earth. Although there’s a few type of people that fall in to this category, douche bags are up there on the list. Douche bags like to be the smart and funny guy who believes he’s better than everyone else. Have you ever met a guy that likes to make fun of people, or other guys? Yes, the one that thinks he’s cooler than the rest of the group because he has things no one else has, likes to show off and rub it in people’s faces in a negative way. Are you picturing this guy? That’s Mr. Douche bag believe it or not.

But why are guys douche bags to women?

Women don’t make douche bags, these boys (because boys is what they are) earn that title with the guys. If you were a boy scout or a girl scout you know you have to earn badges which you proudly wear. Well my friends, that douche bag badge is up their in the hierarchy table of men. Now why are they that way with women? The following is no top secret, it’s perhaps the worse kept secret that many of us tend to ignore. Douche bags like to feel powerful and in control at all times. I’ve never met a down to earth guy who’s a douche bag, that would be ironic if you ask me.

The douche bag always wants to dictate the paste and never really gives in to demands. Most importantly, douche bags are or can’t be honest with the women they date. Always leading them on, telling them that things are moving in a certain direction when it’s truly not. Douche bags can’t be honest and some women simply can’t decipher the codes that sit right in front of them. A man that can’t call or text a woman to tell her he’s not making a set date for whatever reason is a giant douche. I can’t call this type of male a man at all, these are boys in a mens body.

Honesty can take you far in life but some douche bags couldn’t be honest even if their life depended on it. A man that doesn’t have the decency to be upfront about things can’t really be called a man, that’s why they’re douche bags. Yet again, there’s always time to change but of course douche bags will resist. Why? Because in their mind, they are right and you are wrong. It’s the cool thing to do so there’s no reason to change it.

You love them…

Okay, now we know what makes a douche bag and we also know how they think to a certain degree. Despite all of those things you still love them. Something about them you like and can’t find anywhere else. You keep blaming these guys because of the way they’re but you’re the one who seems to always seek the same trades in a men. A douche bag will go as far as you let them go. There’s a difference between a men who tells you his clear intentions and one who leads you in the wrong direction. That’s like walking with a blindfold over your eyes and simply following directions. There’s different degrees of douche, you can’t judge them all by the same meter. The only thing you do control is how far you let a douche go on.

If the men hasn’t changed out of his own free will, don’t expect him to change by some divine intervention. A douche bag doesn’t aspire to change, they always want to keep the party going and as soon as you get that through your head, you will see the light. I know too many girls who date douche bags, (Girls because women date men and not boys.) This blog has made me a lot of new friends and followers, yet again it has also led many people to dislike me because of the things I talk about. I’m not in it for the fame or to make new friends, I’m it to write and speak my mind, if you don’t like the truth that’s too bad. Let’s hope we touched the surface in a complex topic that many of you ladies have found yourselves confounded by. Remember, douche bags are that way by choice, if you are dating one is also by choice and by choice you will also suffer the consequences.

Feel free to share by clicking on your favorite social media site down below, until next time. Follow me on Twitter: @mlinares10

Do you have a Facebook, Twitter, Instagram?

“But you didn’t have to cut me offfffffff, erase me from your FB, Twitter, Instagram, like we weren’t nothing! and I don’t even need your account but you treat me like a stranger and it feels so rough, now you’re just somebody that I use to know!” (Song credit: Somebody that I use to know)

You live in a new day and age where what really matters is how updated with technology and the internet you’re.

The truth is that in 2012 who doesn’t have a Facebook, Twitter or Instagram around the world? Is the new thing to do. Throughout my adventures around the globe, if there’s one thing that I’ve realized, is that everyone and their ‘mama’ has a Facebook, true fact.

Facebook and other sites have become such a big part of our lives that we no longer ask for phone numbers, we ask for Facebook, Twitter and Instagram accounts to name a few. Nowadays we usually end a conversation the following way: “It was nice meeting you, do you have a Facebook?.” Ten years ago we were still asking for those seven digits.

The feeling of the chase was a thrilling and exuberating to any teenager and adult but with our latest generation, that trend is becoming simply a flash from the past. There’s hardly any more, “I’m going after him/her because that’s what I want, even if it came at the cost of a rejection. (The Law of attraction, we can talk about that in a future blog.)

Let’s get something clear, this is not about having accounts on more than one website, it’s about how we’ve allowed these sites to ruin the way we socialize and meet people. It has damped the mentality many of us grew up with. It has annihilated the way many of our parents and grandparents did things 50 years ago.

I myself go back in retrospect and remember attending many parties where ending with one number was considered a successful night. Phone numbers have diminished in value to the new generations, some of you might disagree, but the facts are right there in front of you.

In the old days……

Obtaining a number from a person was considered important, numbers weren’t handed out so easily, for example; you had to really impress a girl to get her number. Girls would also make you wait, or would have to see you a few times in order to give you the seven numbers to her cell phone.

Today…..

Most people like handing out their FaceBook, Twitter or Instagram account, it’s the new trend. I remember talking to a friend, (female friend) who told me that it would be much easier to reach her on Facebook than by phone (rejection.)

The thing about handing out your Facebook, Twitter or Instagram is that you also hand out a part of your private life out. By giving out your Facebook, I now have access to your everyday and weekend life. I can see what you are like on the weekends without you telling me much, ‘a picture can say a million words.’ In this case, we can say that a lot of pictures can say way more than that.

This is where Instagram comes in, a site where some people practically post every move they make. This is what I ate, this is where I’m going, this is the quotes I like. I’m a big on the quotes, for some reason I like to inspire the people around me. Back to the point; As hard as it might be to accept it, our ways of socializing keeps evolving everyday and not for the best in some cases. This has indeed led millions to become couch potatoes.

Your post….

Let’s not lie to each other here, we tend to sometimes put our mood, feelings and current state of mind in some of our post. Even when some of them make us sound pretty crazy. Sometimes post tend to show true character, have you ever seen your friend talking about their ex BF/GF in a real negative way? It happens, it’s very common. I hear Facebook has become the new MySpace, whatever that means.

Like my best friend usually tells me when we talk about the topic, “God forbid you delete some one from Facebook, it’s like stabbing them in the heart, back,” you get where I’m going with that. “She blocked me!”

One of my favorite……

When people post quotes, or a simple sentence that stirs controversy, people start to question whether that was an indirect comment for them. Oh yes, the power of Facebook, if only you would’ve thought twice before giving them your account. I actually forgot you can put your number on Facebook as part of your description, I recall a girl calling me once:

Me: Hello?

Girl: Hey Moses, where’s the party at?

Me: How did you get my number?

Girl: I got it through your FB page.

Me: What?

Girl: So what’s the address?

It might sound a little bit crazy yet again we control the amount of information we share with others and sometimes that might be a little too much. But thank you Facebook for that memorable moment.

Back to the Phone…..

Can you truly say people would know that much information about you if you would’ve just gave them your number? I mean, you can easily say “No.” Many girls would do that before Facebook and other Social websites existed. I got plenty of “No, I have a boyfriend” back in the day. I won’t say that’s the situation nowadays, but it was once upon a time.

Not everyone is like that…..

Not all of us are like that, I must admit there are plenty of those who really like to keep their FB, Twitter and Instagram accounts very exclusive. Nevertheless, if you are looking for people who don’t answer your phone calls, I can assure you that you will find them on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram because who doesn’t have an account? Oh, I forgot about those friends who have relationship problems, therefore they terminate their accounts. But I’ll leave that for another week.

Better think about it next time, you can ignore a phone call or a text but you can’t hide from the internet. As for me, I think I’ll keep the chase alive for now. I still find it more exciting than following people online, Law of attraction, positive thinking, like someone once told me, “google it.”

See you next week or you can follow me on Twitter @mlinares10. Click on your social media site of preference.

Picture credit:
google.com

Winners can’t be Quitters

"I'll Show you how great I'am"

“I’ll Show you how great I’am”

Winners can’t be Quitters

“The Only thing guaranteed at birth is DEATH, everything else you have to earn!”

Another week has passed by and once again I can only hope that all of you are doing great. Next week brings a fresh start at becoming healthier, a chance to redefine our goals and to live life a day at a time. It’s amazing waking up to emails and text with topics to talk about each week, please keep them coming.

It’s a rule of life that “Winners can’t be quitters and quitters can’t be winners.” Life is full of up and downs, we each have our own battles and struggles to overcome. Have you ever asked yourself, “Maybe this is not for me? Maybe I’ve made the wrong choice and it’s time to move on.” In this life we have all encountered a time when we believe we are heading in the wrong direction. A time when people want to make you feel that you’re no good. That perhaps you don’t have what it takes to make it in whatever field you’re trying to shine in.

Don’t be a fool

When I was just a boy, I heard those words repeatedly, “You’re no good and you won’t make it.” To some people I wasn’t good enough to graduate High School, today I ask myself, “I wasn’t good enough to graduate High School?” The truth is that I probably didn’t have the best role models, my older cousins weren’t the best examples. For whatever reason, they chose to take a path that led them to hard moments and struggles they regret today. For their sake, I’m glad to say they’ve changed their life’s. Nonetheless, the choices made by my older cousins led everyone to believe that I would also fail. For many people High School is pretty basic, it’s something you have to accomplish. In my family it was quite the contrary, you were expected to work and help your family because that’s the way things are done back in Central America.

Not me

From the moment I entered middle school, I was on a mission to keep a promise I made to my mother, to go to college. Middle school was difficult, by the time I entered 6th to 8th grade, I had already attended four elementary schools. I refused to transfer schools, therefore I sometimes found myself walking three miles in order to make it to school early in the morning when my mother didn’t have money for my bus fair. High school was no different, I travelled even further using public transportation, a 15 mile bus ride got me to school each morning. I was on a mission to complete school and prove everyone wrong, I was not going to settle for less than a high school degree. In the process, I met great teachers I still keep in touch with today, Mr. Edwards my English teacher and Ms. Gibbs, my Spanish teacher. Both very influential in my education then and today.

Is normal to fall over and over during your journey in life, how fast you get up, determines how strong minded you really are. There’s no destiny in this life, at least that’s my opinion, even the richest can fall when the wrong choices are made. Yes, some of us are born more fortunate than others, things are handed down by parents who’ve worked extremely hard to provide their children with better opportunities. Withal, no one is really destined, we are all indeed predestined. We make the choices and we pave our own road, things change and we make sudden turns, but in the end they are still choices made by us. Some people knock on one door an it opens up, others knock on hundreds of them before seeing one open. My biggest fear in life has always been to be the guy with all the talent that never made it. Therefore I keep knocking and knocking even when my knuckles are bruised and bleeding. I’ve fallen more times than a person that can’t snowboard but I know how to get up, each time I get up faster and stronger. Disappointments are part of the journey, falling shouldn’t prevent any of us from dreaming big. We create our own road in this life, at least in the United States we are lucky to say that’s the case.

I over came high school and college, I’m after bigger and better dreams today, a possible master’s in English, Latin history or even social media itself. You can’t stop dreaming because people or life has put a halt on your journey. You learn how to take detours and keep moving in order to get to your destination. People will let you down over and over, that is something you can count on. However, no one can let you down as much as yourself. If you’re a quitter, we are probably not friends, quitting and giving up is not in my DNA. The days where the feeling of giving up emerge, always come around, yet when you’ve been a fighter all your life, it’s simply not an option. We’ll own a fire, sometimes it’s only a spark, other times it’s a flame that can’t be extinguished. Which one do you currently possess? If you’re on the other side, maybe it’s time you become a fighter because “Winners can’t be quitters and quitters can’t be winners,” it’s a rule of life.

Feel free to share this and post it on your social media site of preference, your thoughts and opinions are always welcome, therefore I encourage you to drop a comment. Sometimes you have to be like the great Muhammad Ali and show every one “How great I’am.”

Follow me Twitter: @mlinares10