Once a cheater always a cheater?

Once a cheater always a cheater?

There’s a saying that “once a cheater always a cheater?” Particularly this is always aimed towards men. The gender that is frequently caught cheating but let’s not get this mixed up; women cheat as much as men, they’re simply smarter when they do it.

Can you really say that people don’t change? Are you marked for life once you’ve done the crime? Many people believe this is the case when it comes to infidelity, you’ve lost all trust and you’ve been pushed to the side and been casted out like leprosy.

I must admit that no one is perfect and people make mistakes they later regret, “You should’ve never hooked up with that person.” Okay, let’s get to the point here, while some of you believe that cheaters will never change, let’s discuss the problem many of you have encountered.

Cheaters

Cheating is a disease that needs a cure, that cure is call learning your lesson the hard way. Men and women sometimes fall into a comfort zone where they believe they have everything under control. Men are typically the one’s that believe to always have everything in the palms of their hands. They learn how to hide their tracks well enough and never get caught playing the game. This is a cycle that can go on forever and your partner may never find out what hit them. It’s a secret between your heart and your concious, if you have either.

Mr. or Ms. Cheater will continue to play the game until they’re caught and taught a lesson that will last a lifetime. Your cure is called a “HEARTBREAK.”  I know, but it’s the truth that many of you don’t want to believe. Instead of saying goodbye, there’s a lot of people who think a simple sorry and “please forgive me” will make every thing alright. There’s also those who let a few weeks or months pass by before falling into a trap all over again.

This is clearly my opinion and you might disagree with me completely, that’s okay because we’re all entitled to our own beliefs. My conclusion comes from the many people around me who prove me right every day. If your boyfriend or girlfriend has ever cheated on you:

  1. You haven’t paid enough attention
  2. You’ve lacked emotionally
  3. You’re not performing where it counts
  4. If you’re a woman, you’ve probably haven’t put out
  5. Once a cheater always a cheater

All of these are primarily excuses people make up to justify their acts. Reformation is possible, but it does come with a heavy price many of the guilty have to pay. There’s nothing worse than to live knowing the person you “love” caught you being unfaithful. It’s one thing to cheat in a relationship and it’s another to do it when you’re married. In a relationship it’s called a breakup, in marriage it’s called a divorce.

People can change and that’s undeniable but you can’t change without a hard lesson in life. I have a few female friends that have been victims of cheating and still put up with the problem after finding out. I use to think that only women in third world countries would be part of such scenarios. On the contrary, it’s also those women with college degrees who you find in that hole, or like adele says, “Rolling in the deep.” This problem is called being insecure and having low self-esteem.

Reform cheater

One of my middle school friends was in love with a girl a few years ago but he couldn’t keep his penis under control. He couldn’t resist the urge to cheat and eventually he got caught. The heartbreak lasted a few years but he got the point, cheating has a heavy price, you’re better off going to jail than to cheat on a woman that actually loves you.

Now let me twist this around because women are as guilty of cheating when it comes to relationships. Women are indeed much smarter when they commit the crime. This doesn’t make it right albeit it’s interesting to see how more and more women getting caught playing the game. Is it an adrenaline rush? Lack of attention? One of my girlfriends told me she was a cheater in her previous relationships because she loved the adrenaline rush it brought out in her.

I’m no one to pass judgement on anybody, my questions is why be in a relationship if you want to hook up with different people? People want to have the best of both worlds and get away with committing foul play. Nowadays you can’t really tell if men or women cheat more. What we do know is that cheaters can’t change unless they’re taught a valuable lesson.

We seem to rush everything nowadays, relationships, sex, love and other important aspects between two people. Our society has been corrupted with the cheating syndrome and some of us believe it’s okay. We’ve learned how to hide our tracks so well that even if the FBI were to look into it, they wouldn’t find a thing. This leads people to the believe that as long as you don’t get caught it will be okay. In other words, “A heart that does not see, is a heart that does not feel.”

Yet when everything crumbles down, you start to see what you thought was impossible. Cheaters begin to change because they’ve lost everything that ever mattered to them. Once a cheater always a cheater? Not really, pay attention and look around you. I’m sure you know a lot of reformed cheaters that will tell you what not to do in your previous or future relationships. It a shame to see good relationships go to waste, but to be honestly speaking, some people truly need to go through a tough time to learn how to value that special person in their life. Don’t expect cheaters to change on their own, do them a favor and teach them a lesson.

Thank you for reading, please share this with your friends and drop me a comment! Follow me on Twitter: @mlinares10

Picture credit: Google.com

Advertisements

Karma in relationships

Karma

Karma, wouldn’t you agree that it’s a bi$%^? Despite the fact that many might say that it doesn’t exist, oh, it’s real my friends. Karma, it has no expiration date, it never forgets, it doesn’t accept apologies and it makes you pay sooner or later. I recall having a conversation with a few friends about karma and relationships. The debate had several good points, it went back and forward as we debated if karma really exist. Perhaps the phrase that most caught my attention was an opinion by a friend, “Karma is something someone bitter made up.”

I’m a firm believer that anything bad or unjust done to another human being has to be paid in this life time. This would mean that if you literally cheated, mistreated, verbally or physically, abused another person, you have to pay the price. Before I continue to proceed, what is Karma? Where does it come from? Karma is a hinduism and Buddhist believe, (to name a couple) action seen as bringing upon once self inevitable results good or bad. Simple as that, there’s a million definitions but this was the easiest to understand during my search.

I would describe Karma as a never ending cycle, it keeps going and going until there’s a stop. This would mean you can’t really go an “eye for an eye and tooth for a tooth.” It would be more like a Jesus move, turn the other cheek and keep moving. If you’ve ever cheated, or if you’ve ever broken a heart, most likely Karma has a bounty on your head. You might have repented, or perhaps you even said you were sorry, but in reality apologies are sometimes not sufficient to get you a free get out of jail card. It’s like being a kid all over again, I’m sure you hit one of your friends, made them cried and said you were sorry. Nevertheless, the damage had already been done, you made him/her cry, then you were sorry. Okay, you were a kid, you had an excuse to act wreckless, you’re judgement was not on point at that age.

Let’s throw another example out there, if you drive a car and pass a red light where there’s cameras installed, most like you’ll get a ticket. Few weeks after you get hit on the mail with a 500 dollar fine for breaking the law. To make it worse, they have you a camera breaking the law, they took a picture of you smiling as you drove thinking you were pretty slick. The truth is that you now have to pay your dues, there’s no “I’m sorry your honor, I didn’t mean to do it, I promise I’ll change from now on.” You can bet your bottom dollar the judge won’t really care what your reason was for doing it, all that matters is that you pay the price for being negligent, naive and dumb to do such a thing.

Yes, Karma works similar to that, I’ve decided to focus this on relationships and heartbreaks because I think many of you might relate to this. I myself have found myself on both sides of the coin. Am I bitter? I can honestly say that I’m not, if anything I’ve endured the hard lessons by life, I’ve embraced them and changed the ways I see certain things. I’m not the perfect man, I’ve never met a perfect person and if you have, please introduce me to that person, it would be an honor. I’m not pointing fingers, I’m not saying certain people will be victims of Karma but I’am saying that many people out there like to pretend that it doesn’t exist. Maybe it’s not Karma, perhaps it has a different name wherever you come from. The truth is that you can’t run away from it. The Karma I speak of can be positive or negative. You do a good deed and most likely you will be rewarded. With that said, many of us run around like we are the exception, like things won’t eventually catch up to us. If this was true, wouldn’t we all be much happier? Wouldn’t we have less divorces and breakups? It’s crazy but it’s true and it sucks for those who still haven’t paid their price.

One of my close friends is going through a divorce, great woman who works to prove that she doesn’t need a man to validate her existence. After many years of marriage she found out her ex husband was having an affair with another woman, this led her to find out things that really scarred her inside. This guy had it all, he made less money than she did, had her credit cards and was spoiled like few man are nowadays. It’s usually the other way around but this friend wanted her husband to have it all. Until she found out that he was buying condoms with her money. It’s sad but it’s only one of millions of similar stories I’m sure. There’s nothing like an awful split between two person’s, it stings, it hurts to see someone you loved hurt you that bad and try to explain why they have done what they’ve done.

“I’m sorry, I never meant to hurt you,” said my ex girlfriend thinking it was sufficient enough to earn forgiveness. I’ve forgiven her but not because she said “Sorry,” I forgave her for the simple reason that the line between love and hate is very thin. Because I know Karma is much more cruel and it creeps around when you least expect it. Why am I telling you this? Well, personally for me it’s been some time now, I’m over it to the point where I can openly talk about it and feel nothing. Yet, I listen to similar stories and can relate to the feeling. You can’t expect Karma to act when you want it to, it’s something that happens on it’s own. It occurs when you’re not expecting it, when you probably don’t really care much about the situation anymore. We don’t control Karma, what we do control is our actions. The one’s that determine what the outcome will become, whether it’s positive or negative.

My friend is now a big shot on one of the most important companies in the country. She’s small as a chihuahua but attacks like a Lion. While her ex husbands shows symptons of repenting, it’s sad to say it doesn’t work that way. While his life keeps going down the drain, my friend keeps climbing that ladder of success. As for my ex girlfriend, I’m not sure, I don’t really dig for dirt. You know what they say, “Don’t go digging in the dirt if you don’t want to get your hands dirty.” I’m sure she knows her time is coming and I truly don’t care because it’s no longer my problem. Karma, you think it doesn’t exist? good luck with that and remember what you read here when it does find you.

Please feel free to share, drop me a comment, follow my blog and click on your social media site of preference.