Back in my day

Back in my day

Today one of the most popular lines you hear old folks saying is usually “back in my day” in reference to when they were young. Yes, times have changed and they keep changing as many of us might have noticed. While some change with time, others simply question where our society is heading. Momentarily when I sit in retrospect and remember my childhood, I recall a discipline I can hardly see other parents practice in present time.

The generations behind us have lost the morals that many of our parents implemented. What can we do? Is not breaking news to find out that many of our young generations in the United States are having children. They are having them at a rate faster than the meat industry produces meat. Children having children is what I like to call it because the truth is that having a child and raising one is a hard task. You might be asking where this topic came from, it’s indeed out of my jurisdiction.

I come from a generation of playing sports and being outdoors, hiking and playing soccer on Saturdays and Sundays. My punishments consisted of losing the privilege of playing the sport that I most love, soccer (Besides the belt.) Today I look around and see young children with on the go video games. You no longer have to be a couch potato at home, you now have the opportunity to be a potato in the car.

This might be the reason why America has the largest number of obese kids in the world. Lazy parents who don’t cook and buy fast food every day which simply contributes to this epidemic. I recall my mothers stories of   walking miles for a bucket of water. It’s truly sad to see how our world keeps changing. I believe change should help us become better and not lazier.

Technology

We can’t completely blame technology for the direction we are heading in. This problem mostly occurs in the U.S. The rest of the world seems to still believe in old traditions, people still walk to most of their destinations or use public transportation. While people in the states drive to places or have things delivered. Can you blame these people for being in the group of unhealthy people in the world? There’s many reasons why we are where we are as a country. The question becomes, “Where does this begin and where does it end?”

The answer has always been simple and right in front of us, we simply choose to turn the other cheeck and pretend not see things happening. Your problem begins and ends at home. Although most of the time it only begins and it never ends, it just keeps going and progressing through future generations.

What I’m about to say is completely illegal, I don’t suggest you do any of the following to be clear. As a kid I grew up in a household where discipline and manners were the number one rule. The belt was the number one enemy at times. The belt symbolized that you had broken the rules of the house in the worse way possible. Yet my mother was never big on public exhibition. She simply gave you the look and whispered, “When we get home!” Now, many of my African American friends and Latino friends could relate to those words. When my mother was in a good mood my siblings and I would get a lecture, but we always exceeded expectation therefore we got the belt with full benefits.

My mother always said it was out of love, so she thought. My butt surely disagreed with her but I knew mom was right and I was wrong. I must admit one of the punishment I hated the most was going to the corner and getting on my knees for around an hour with my hands up in the air. That usually worked and I thought about doing things twice. I love my mother for all the things she did and has done for me. I no longer get punishments, I get lectures and life stories that I carry inside for when I have to correct my children in the future. My mother like most Latina mothers didn’t believe in “Go to your room.”  I could only imagine an answer like  “I hate you mom, you’re so not cool, I’m running away!” Those statements would have me toothless at a very young age.

Our change starts at home, it starts with us correcting our kids in a proper manner. Encouraging them to get out and play sports, getting involved with the community and socializing face to face. Yet again making smarter choices as parents and preventing our younger siblings and kids from being obese and bad behaved. I’m not super dad, but it does bother me seeing little children talk back to their parents, I wish my mother would pop out and say, “When we get home.” With the look of death she typically gave my siblings and I when we were kids. There’s too many people saying, “Where did I go wrong?” and not enough saying “Not in my watch buddy.”

No, my mother was not perfect, in all honesty there’s no perfect parent, they’ll commit mistakes and learn from them. Is our society changing? Yes. The problem is that is changing in the wrong direction. Imagine a generation of bad behaved children turning into parents and raising kids of their own, what then? There’s still time to change a lot of this. I wouldn’t be able to live in a world where parents taught their kids to shuffle instead of playing sports. “Please dear lord have mercy on us!”

Thank you for reading, please feel free to share on your favorite social media site. Follow me on Twitter: @mlinares10

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Are you mature?

Are you mature?

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Are you mature when it comes to relationships and dating?

For too long we’ve been taught that maturity comes with age and the number of experiences we go through in life. Dolefully, this my friend isn’t true, age doesn’t define maturity despite the fact that many people believe it does. If you’re asking, “please define mature sir?” Well, since you brought it up, the definition that most fits my point is; “Having reached full natural growth or development.” That development can be mental, we all lack maturity in some areas of our lives. There’s no such thing as a perfect human being. With all this said, let’s cut it down just a little more. We’ll know teenagers are immature in most cases, we also know that most women act or reach maturity faster than men.

When it comes to relationships and dating, how do you define mature? We’ve all, or most of us have experienced some type of break, a point in a relationship, or an emerging relationship (Dating) where there’s an end to things. Do you remember the old high school days where your friends or perhaps yourself would end a relationship? Yes, the day when your named got trashed or you defamed someone for the rest of their high school days. You were a teenager, you had an excuse to be dumb, naive and pretty much immature. The older you got, the more you claimed to have grown up, to have changed, to have learned from those young days.

Did you really?

If you paid attention, most people didn’t change, they continued cheating, lying, deceiving the people around them while claiming to be “mature.” In a recent conversation with a close friend, we exchanged stories about past relationship and people we’ve dated. This girlfriend had dated a man, or a boy to be more accurate, that had ended their relationship through a text message. I shook my head, but not in disbelieve. This boy had decided to put an end to a long relationship via text message and email. When my friend confronted this boy, the ex simply couldn’t do it face to face. He was to immature to say things weren’t working out, or to explain they’ve grown apart. Besides being immature, I told my friend that this person was really a coward, why? because as adults, either man or woman, the right thing would be to confront such a problem face to face, not via text or email. Don’t get it wrong, the word coward or immature has no gender, they come in all shapes and sizes. Beautiful, ugly, handsome or gorgeous, appearances can be deceiving.

Nonetheless, our society has taken things to the next level, we don’t call people, we text them because it’s simply easier to deal with things that way. Despite all that, a breakup should never be handled via text or email. It’s not the adult thing to do, I’m sure our parents thought us that lesson when we were kids. At least some of our fathers explained the “do’s and don’t” of marriage or relationships. This is where you stop, take a deep breath and realize that the number of adults who act their age is less than the number acting like children.

Back to my friend

She proceeded to explain that her ex was mature, that he was different until it came to that breakup. Hmm, seems to me like that act of a child, when I was a kid, I would write notes asking girls if they liked me or not, (circle yes or no.) It was hard to explain to my friend that being older doesn’t necessarily mean you have learned what relationships are all about. I’ll tell you the story of a woman I dated, she was attracting, beautiful, hard worker, yet when things didn’t work out, she decided to send me a text. I decided to call and actually try to fix things, she wasn’t able to pick up, instead she text me saying “I can’t do this.” Whatever that meant was enough reason for her to end things. I believe in respecting people’s decisions, you have to accept things and part ways on certain occasions. If you believe that immature people can be changed by your actions, let me tell you that you’re on the wrong path.

I’ll ask you this, if you have a friend that dates a bad person, one of those man or woman who have bad all over them, are they mature? Staying in a relationship or trying to fix something broken is another form of being immature. Yet again, human beings are creatures of habit. We get use to things and people to the point that it becomes really difficult to let them go and move on. Theres occasions when things can be salvaged but that’s hardly the case wouldn’t you agree?

I will reiterate that my blog is not about putting anyone on out there, okay, I’m lying, I enjoy doing this. Karma, isn’t it a bitch? Don’t worry, we can talk about that next week with more details. Today we can remain focus on dating and being in relationship with “mature” adults.

Men

In case you’re wondering, yes, this goes out to some of the the guys I know, we tend to disagree on many things. I stopped believing in playing relationships and dating games. Like many of the women that I know, I’m very upfront, my memory is pretty awesome and I tend not to forget things that easily, it’s those Omega 369 I tell you. They say they’re good for the brain, perhaps that’s why my memory remains in tact.

If a man or woman hasn’t cherished you after all the things you’ve done in a relationship, don’t expect them to change all of a sudden. Sometimes it takes hard lessons in life for us to really value the important things in front of us. To be mature is to have the mental capacity to handle things like real adults. To hold your ground and refrained from using derogatory language. It’s the ability to be able to confront things head on and walk away when things aren’t working with your gentleman or lady card in hand. I constantly run in to my ex girlfriend and even though I would have a valid point to not talk to her, I rather say “hello,” give her a kiss on the cheek and walk away. When it came down to it, I didn’t lose as much as she did, (Gentleman card still in my hand.)

We’re not perfect, men nor women can declare perfection in a world with flaws. It’s time to start acting our age, the party days come to an end eventually. Today is simply a good day to let some of the people around you know, “I see your immaturity.” For those that think that maturity is a fancy car, job or wearing heels, you have it twisted. Maturity is owning up to your actions and feelings face to face, not in a cowardly text or email. I’m not making this up, this is some real stuff many of you might agree with. If you’re making funny faces at the screen, perhaps you fit into this category of immature people. The older you get, the more embarrassed you should be to act in such a manner.

Thank you for reading, I’m glad to let you know that our blog has reached more than 20 countries around the world because you my friends have shared this. Therefore I say thank you! Keep clicking on your social media site of preference and drop me a comment! Follow me in Twitter: @mlinares10