Opposite sex best friends

Nowadays it’s dubious to see a men and a women have a clean, untarnished friendship. With that said, can men and women really be friends or better said, can they be best friends?

This is conceivably the issue with a high percentage of couples today. Therefore I ask, can opposite genders really maintain a strict friendship. It’s permitted to have a best friend, what becomes a problem is having a best friend of the opposite sex. The thought of two people hooking up, or something simply not looking right, always comes up in relationships.

Boys will be boys that’s why this blog is only for fully grown men. I’ll get to the point and take off from there. Yes, it’s possible to have a best friend of the opposite sex. Many factors do come in between but if you’re asking yourself if it can be done, well let me hit a few key points, thoughts and examples.

Machismo is a very common lifestyle for Latin men all over the world. Yet again, machismo has transcendent worldwide. The belief that “I wear the pants and I’m the man of the house, therefore you do what I say,” type of mentality. It’s specifically this type of men that can’t see their female partners in a healthy friendship with the opposite sex. Their DNA doesn’t function that way, not by choice but because they were raised that way.

Usually people get into relationships and you’ll never hear from them again, that’s because people try to avoid jeopardizing their new relationship. But what happens to the best friend when you’re in a relationship. Where do you leave the person who’s been there when you needed someone to listen to your problems and complaints. I’m talking about opposite gender best friends. Are you suppose to shut them out and erase them from your life in order to keep your new boyfriend/girlfriend happy? If this is what you’ve done in the past, you’re probably a terrible friend.

Every relationship should have 100 percent trust in the beginning. Obviously as the bad choices accumulate, the percentage in your trust scale begins to decline. Despite all this, opposite sex friendships should not jeopardize anyone because your relationship should always have 100 percent trust. If you’ve made bad choice after bad choice, you’ve simply put yourself in a bad position.

I personally have a female best friend, I call her my diary because I’m allowed to confess my entire life without being judged. The person I go to when I need someone to listen or give me advice. Their’s more pros than cons in these relationships, you get all the inside information on the opposite sex. As questionable as it might seem to certain people, the line of respect is always drawn. No one should doubt your ability to make the right choices even when you’re in an uncomfortable situation. Reason why, because at the end of the day the call is always yours.

Finding that opposite sex best friend isn’t a simple task, that friend that likes you for who you are and not for what you have. No, you shouldn’t have to pick and choose between friends and relationships. On the contrary, your partner and yourself have to respect if a friendship was already established prior to the existence of your current or future relationship. Remember that this is only my opinion and you might disagree with me completely which is okay.

We can say this is the adult way of observing this dilemma. As confusing as it might appear, this problem seems to keep going on today in the 21st century. Ridiculous? yes it is but what can you do when people fail to understand that we live in a new time and era.

A best friend symbolizes a special bond and connection. Doesn’t necessarily mean you as boyfriend or girlfriend can’t compensate for everything that goes on in the relationship. We all need room and venting space at times, that’s why best friends were made. I’ve personally surround myself with woman because I love to know what’s going on in the female brain, my female friends might agree when I say that I’m always one or two steps ahead of the game. This has all been possible due to the fact that I have a female best friend and very close special women in my life.

The machismo mentality is old fashion but old habits die hard as some might say. Every relationship should have equal or close to equal pull. Insecurities are a sign of weakness in a person. No one should make you feel uncomfortable because what’s yours is yours and no one can take that away. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, is the fact that when people have malice intent there’s no holding them back. If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to cheat on you, they will find a way to do it even if you believe you got everything under control.

The problem has never been having a best friend of the opposite sex. The problem will always be that you’re dating someone with insecurities and a machismo mentality. You might not believe it but people can actually change. When someone wants to keep you in their life, they will find a way to change over a period of time of course. If they choose not to, your answer is right there in front of you.

There’s a difference between an existing best friend and a new emerging best friend which might be a little more difficult to understand or justify. It’s okay to make new friends, what will always matter here is the amount of trust handed out. If you can’t deal with it, perhaps you’re in the wrong relationship.

Embrace your opposite sex best friend but always remember that a line has to be drawn. People in this situation already know this and understand that it’s not worth loosing a friendship over a bad decision. “Why can’t we be friends, why can’t we be friends!!!”

Thank you for reading, please feel free to share this in your favorite social media site by clicking below. Follow me on Twitter: @mlinares10

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I want a relationship

Relationships can be defined as reaching the promise land for many woman, the commitment they’ve searched and looked for. Yet sometimes because there’s a title between two people, doesn’t signify you’ve found success. So you want a relationship huh?

“Oh, why can’t I find the person of my dreams? are all men players? why are they all the same?” Without a doubt some of the most popular lines you will hear a single woman say often. Yes, the same woman you see partying and getting wasted every Friday, Saturday and Sunday even Thursdays when the mood is right.

“I need a man who will value me and spoil me and treat me like a queen because that’s what I’ am and if you’re not that man, I don’t care to meet you.” I will tell you exactly what I heard, “Let me see your car, wallet, bank statements and by the way what do you do for a living?” Woman want to be loved, don’t we all?

At one point in our life, we all look for that partner, that relationship that will fill that empty space someone left vacant. Well actually we start to look for it after we enjoy our single life to the point we get sick of it. Than you have those people who can’t be out of a relationship. Some of you that are currently single are probably saying, “Yea right buddy! I’m going to be single until I’m 40.” If you’re actually in your teenage years or in your early 20’s, that might be the mentality you have at the moment. My suggestion would be to speak to someone single in their 30’s or 40’s  and ask if they feel the same way. The answer will most likely be “HECK NO.”

I will restrain myself from using the word love because like I’ve told you before, love doesn’t grow on trees, it takes time to develop those kind of feelings. Relationships on the other hand come and go and certain people use them like underwear, always changing them. How do you choose your partner? Are you using online dating? you cheeky little devil, you are aren’t you? Don’t lie, I won’t tell anyone I promise. Wait, you don’t believe in that, you met all your previous boyfriends while you were partying and you fell in love. That’s probably reason why you’re here once again looking for a new one.

Where do I find that person?

I will tell you where you shouldn’t find them if that’s more helpful, let’s begin:

The Club

Strip Club

Las Vegas                                   

MySpace

Facebook 

Jail

(Off the top my of my head, add yours here ——–>)

There’s a few exceptions to the places I mentioned above, if you meet a person on Facebook or Myspace or Instagram for example, you need some mutual friends in between. It will be the safe thing to do and you can actually do some investigative searching on the person you’re interested in. With that said, you would be doing online dating, if that’s okay with you, go for it. Las Vegas would be risky business both ways, sin city is a gamble, therefore roll the dice and see if you get lucky, just don’t roll snake eyes.

Why are you picking on women?

I’m not, just pay close attention and see what gender is constantly asking for a partner. Men want partners as well, they simply like showing that tough side, that “I don’t need anyone,” (Macho voice.) Depending on the age of a male, of course you think about sharing your experiences with someone. Boys in their teens or early 20‘s are only thinking about one thing, SEX. I would be really careful if I was a woman, around one in ten men that age probably think different. It takes a lot to catch young men,the issue is that it can’t just be anyone, it has to be a special one. I use to think that only men liked to have their options open when it came to dating, it so happens that nowadays women have adopted the believe. They get so caught up on the thought that they let the good one’s get away.

This is just not about men or women, it goes for both genders equally. You can’t claim to want a partner in life and show the world another face. Yes, compatibility and physical attraction is crucial, it’s the first thing we notice in another person. Thus far, looks have never really guaranteed you success in a relationship. The goal is to always find the balance in between.

Where are you going with this?

If you want a relationship that will be worth the time spent, I would suggest you check your priorities. Stop stating what you want with words and start showing it with action. Dating and relationships are two very different things, not everyone you date will make it to your relationship category. Not that is a waste of your time, it’s truly an experience to keep learning what you really want while you’re still single. Relationships, they’re not easy or simple, they’re tough rugged and draining but when you find that person, you’ll become content with you search journey. This is not an indication to stand static and wait for your dream person, you’ll meet him/her as you keep walking forward when you least expect it.

Here’s  a good one

When you date someone, you’re actually showing interest, you’re getting to know a person and contemplating the idea of a relationship. It doesn’t mean it will happen but the possibility will be there. Just don’t expect love out of dating a person, that’s one of the biggest mistakes people tend to make, when it’s time to let go, simply walk away. This is the perfect time to cut your losses short and take whatever you can from the experience. Relationships, you won’t find them in the club you will find them with time. You have to give time some time to do what it does best. Now that we got that out of the way, stop with the complaining already.

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Karma in relationships

Karma

Karma, wouldn’t you agree that it’s a bi$%^? Despite the fact that many might say that it doesn’t exist, oh, it’s real my friends. Karma, it has no expiration date, it never forgets, it doesn’t accept apologies and it makes you pay sooner or later. I recall having a conversation with a few friends about karma and relationships. The debate had several good points, it went back and forward as we debated if karma really exist. Perhaps the phrase that most caught my attention was an opinion by a friend, “Karma is something someone bitter made up.”

I’m a firm believer that anything bad or unjust done to another human being has to be paid in this life time. This would mean that if you literally cheated, mistreated, verbally or physically, abused another person, you have to pay the price. Before I continue to proceed, what is Karma? Where does it come from? Karma is a hinduism and Buddhist believe, (to name a couple) action seen as bringing upon once self inevitable results good or bad. Simple as that, there’s a million definitions but this was the easiest to understand during my search.

I would describe Karma as a never ending cycle, it keeps going and going until there’s a stop. This would mean you can’t really go an “eye for an eye and tooth for a tooth.” It would be more like a Jesus move, turn the other cheek and keep moving. If you’ve ever cheated, or if you’ve ever broken a heart, most likely Karma has a bounty on your head. You might have repented, or perhaps you even said you were sorry, but in reality apologies are sometimes not sufficient to get you a free get out of jail card. It’s like being a kid all over again, I’m sure you hit one of your friends, made them cried and said you were sorry. Nevertheless, the damage had already been done, you made him/her cry, then you were sorry. Okay, you were a kid, you had an excuse to act wreckless, you’re judgement was not on point at that age.

Let’s throw another example out there, if you drive a car and pass a red light where there’s cameras installed, most like you’ll get a ticket. Few weeks after you get hit on the mail with a 500 dollar fine for breaking the law. To make it worse, they have you a camera breaking the law, they took a picture of you smiling as you drove thinking you were pretty slick. The truth is that you now have to pay your dues, there’s no “I’m sorry your honor, I didn’t mean to do it, I promise I’ll change from now on.” You can bet your bottom dollar the judge won’t really care what your reason was for doing it, all that matters is that you pay the price for being negligent, naive and dumb to do such a thing.

Yes, Karma works similar to that, I’ve decided to focus this on relationships and heartbreaks because I think many of you might relate to this. I myself have found myself on both sides of the coin. Am I bitter? I can honestly say that I’m not, if anything I’ve endured the hard lessons by life, I’ve embraced them and changed the ways I see certain things. I’m not the perfect man, I’ve never met a perfect person and if you have, please introduce me to that person, it would be an honor. I’m not pointing fingers, I’m not saying certain people will be victims of Karma but I’am saying that many people out there like to pretend that it doesn’t exist. Maybe it’s not Karma, perhaps it has a different name wherever you come from. The truth is that you can’t run away from it. The Karma I speak of can be positive or negative. You do a good deed and most likely you will be rewarded. With that said, many of us run around like we are the exception, like things won’t eventually catch up to us. If this was true, wouldn’t we all be much happier? Wouldn’t we have less divorces and breakups? It’s crazy but it’s true and it sucks for those who still haven’t paid their price.

One of my close friends is going through a divorce, great woman who works to prove that she doesn’t need a man to validate her existence. After many years of marriage she found out her ex husband was having an affair with another woman, this led her to find out things that really scarred her inside. This guy had it all, he made less money than she did, had her credit cards and was spoiled like few man are nowadays. It’s usually the other way around but this friend wanted her husband to have it all. Until she found out that he was buying condoms with her money. It’s sad but it’s only one of millions of similar stories I’m sure. There’s nothing like an awful split between two person’s, it stings, it hurts to see someone you loved hurt you that bad and try to explain why they have done what they’ve done.

“I’m sorry, I never meant to hurt you,” said my ex girlfriend thinking it was sufficient enough to earn forgiveness. I’ve forgiven her but not because she said “Sorry,” I forgave her for the simple reason that the line between love and hate is very thin. Because I know Karma is much more cruel and it creeps around when you least expect it. Why am I telling you this? Well, personally for me it’s been some time now, I’m over it to the point where I can openly talk about it and feel nothing. Yet, I listen to similar stories and can relate to the feeling. You can’t expect Karma to act when you want it to, it’s something that happens on it’s own. It occurs when you’re not expecting it, when you probably don’t really care much about the situation anymore. We don’t control Karma, what we do control is our actions. The one’s that determine what the outcome will become, whether it’s positive or negative.

My friend is now a big shot on one of the most important companies in the country. She’s small as a chihuahua but attacks like a Lion. While her ex husbands shows symptons of repenting, it’s sad to say it doesn’t work that way. While his life keeps going down the drain, my friend keeps climbing that ladder of success. As for my ex girlfriend, I’m not sure, I don’t really dig for dirt. You know what they say, “Don’t go digging in the dirt if you don’t want to get your hands dirty.” I’m sure she knows her time is coming and I truly don’t care because it’s no longer my problem. Karma, you think it doesn’t exist? good luck with that and remember what you read here when it does find you.

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