Life is an ongoing journey that many people take for granted. We live in a country where the opportunities to succeed are infinite, yet we close our eyes and walk not knowing in what direction we’re heading. Today I’ve decided to sit, relax and let my words tell a story; why you might ask? Because I’m a leader, it’s been in my DNA since I was a child. As a soccer player I probably wasn’t the most skilled as I’ve had the opportunity to play with amazing players, my forte was being the most vocal. It wasn’t long ago when I doubted myself and my abilities to do great things in life, the exact same things I had promised myself I would accomplish as a young boy. My biggest fear was to be that guy with a lot of talent who never made it. I wasn’t ready to be that guy, I didn’t want to be that guy, so I didn’t become that guy.
Okay, I’m back because I’ve been gone too long that I started to miss this blog. I’ve been so caught up with life that I lost track of some of the things that matter most to me, writing being one of them. To be completely honest, I felt unmotivated for a while due to the fact that people are too lazy to even read anymore. Well my friends, I’ve found new ways to push this blog and they seem to work. I would like to talk about something that I’ve noticed trending amongst my female friends for a while. I call it, “The biggest lie woman love.”
Before I proceed, I would like to make one thing clear; I’m not talking about every woman, just a large percentage of them. I’ve categorized many of my female friends into three categories; the teen that’s in love, the wild girl in her twenties and the desperate woman approaching or in her 30’s.
It’s unfortunate to admit that relationships have lost value in recent decades. Yet women are in love with the title that states they’re in a relationship. Somewhere along the lines someone told them that once they obtained that title, all their problems and concerns would be solved.
Take it from a man when I tell you this is not true, it’s false, it’s a lie and it most definitely doesn’t mean you’re save from being disappointed. There’s a few things women love to hear even if they might not be true, “I love you.” Saying those three magical words creates this atmosphere that makes you believe you’re in a fairyland. But love doesn’t grow on trees over night; you need a foundation to even consider being in love.
Isn’t a foundation what most of these relationships are missing? I see new couples saying it within weeks, or a couple of months. I ask all my close friends and myself how can you even say you’re in love without even knowing a person. How can you be in love with someone you’ve never seen at his or her worse? I’ve never understood how people can go from relationship to relationship saying “I love you” like it’s that simple.
The truth is that women want to hear it and a large amount of men are willing to say it in order to get what they want. Men want to get in your pants and you don’t want to seem easy. Therefore a lot of women make their selves believe that if they have a title, it’s okay.
“Nothing is going to happen if we’re not in a relationship,” she said. Well, men thought of a better idea. Why not lie to them and make them believe a lie to make it that much easier. “Okay, you want a relationship? You’re now my girlfriend and within now and six months, I’m going to get rid of you.”
Some relationships are worth having right? To some women the title is more important than a solid foundation. Even when the relationship is completely garbage, they want to be able to tell the world, “That’s my man right there.”
If you’re mouth is open, I suggest you close it. This is the reality many women are oblivious too. I reiterate that this is not true in all cases, but if you pay attention, you will notice that I’m telling you the truth. This is the lie that many women like to believe and love to hear as harsh as it might sound. How do I know this? Well I’ve seen it around me a lot, I know guys that do it often. We’ve been through this before, you say all men, I reply not true. This is indeed the case when you force the issue, when you want to make someone property by force.
The teen in love is a girl learning about love, we’ll know that girl who was madly in love when she was in high school. She wrote all over her locker and binder. She had pictures of her boyfriend all over the place; it was kind of sickening at times. Despite of my opinion, it was her first love experience. A naïve girl who probably didn’t know that all things don’t last forever and in most cases has an imminent end.
This same girl got to her 20’s and decided to be young and wild, I call this girl the party animal that goes to Vegas every few weeks because she can. The last thing on her mind is a relationship. In her early 20’s all she wants to do is party without much care and pretty reckless. “Oh, he’s so cute,” says the sloppy drunk being carried out, barfing all over her dress as she stumbles outside of the club.
When her 20’s come to an end she starts to notice that everyone around her is getting married therefore she panics. She also wants to get married, wants to have a kid, starts to suffocate any man that enters her life. In her mind time is ticking, she’s getting old and the clock is running. All of this didn’t matter when she was younger and in the club scene. She wants a relationship; she wants the title, now she says she doesn’t want to play any more games because she’s not a kid anymore. Her smart friends chose relationships instead of the nightclubs.
Well, we can argue that this is true for a large amount of women out there. Each experience is different and every woman has a different story, but the one I’m telling you seems to be trending with my generation. “Use me as long as I can call you my boyfriend in order to avoid being judge by my girlfriends.” It basically tells us men, I rather be in a fake three-month relationship than in a dating stage where we’re getting to know each other. By no means does dating mean to sleep with anyone, that’s a decision you have to make yourself.
I personally don’t believe in jumping from relationship to relationship, I believe in being honest and upfront. Let the other person know what your plans and goals are from the beginning. Sometimes it might be the best thing to do, in other cases it might be the worse because living a lie might be more sufficient at the time. Am I lying? This is the lie most women love to hear.
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Picture credit: Google.com
I must confess that some of my best memories in life, were during teenage years. Life was much simpler back then, my priorities were soccer, soccer, girls and school. In retrospect, I can recall some of the notorious things some of my friends and I committed. I’ll get to the point and give you some examples
- Go to the club at the age of 16, telling girls I was 21 and simply a baby face killer.
- Take my friends sister’s car for a joy ride at 2am while she slept.
- Throw a house party that earned us around 3000 dollars we used to throw an even bigger party.
- Meet girls on ‘The Loop’ that looked completely different in person (Check out Online dating.)
The point I’m trying to make here, is about my almost first time. Let’s be honest, there’s a few important things for boys growing up. With that said, one of the most important things for teenage boys is losing their virginity. I recall my teenage years in which all my guy friends would talk about their experiences, one of my friends claimed to have lost his virginity at the age of 12. I really don’t know what his parents were doing when this happened. Despite his story, I’ve never really believed the guy, that’s simply not normal, I was still playing with dirt at the age of 12. With that said, let’s get to my story, my neighborhood was full of girls, I had five sisters whom the neighborhood boys were after.
I was after a few girls myself, but in those days I wasn’t the luckiest guy with the ladies. Nevertheless, there was one that always looked at me when I walked home from school, I was pretty shy and would turn around to avoid making eye contact. Around the guys I was tough and a stud, “Yea, you don’t know what I would do to her if I had the chance.” If only they knew back then that I was simply putting up a front. “Hey Moses, you look cute today,” were the words she would say to me every other day. I would simply smile and keep walking. Whenever any of my friends would walk the neighborhood alongside myself, I would say, “She want’s me,” in order to seem tough.
It wasn’t until one day that I was walking home from school that she actually walked in front of me. “Why don’t you talk to me? are you scared?” she asked me, “Scared? pfff, why, why, why would I be scared of you?” I responded in a stuttering manner. I decided to walk home even faster after the conversation was over. I knew this girl was up to no good and it truly felt that she was the guy and I was quite the opposite of a boy. What happened after still resonates in my mind like it occurred yesterday. Why? because it has without any doubts been one of the funniest secrets I’ve never told anyone, just you guys and who ever you share this with.
It was around 9pm, I was sitting in the living room when a sudden knock on my door removed my undivided attention from the television. For some reason, I was the only person in the living room, everyone else was somewhere else around the house. At the moment it was just my fortune, my sisters would have communicated my malice intent to my mother in the split of a second. Back to the knock on the door, I got up an open when my eyes open wide. It was the girl who confronted me about being scared, yes, the same one who talked to me for months. I said “Hi, what’s up, what are you doing here,” she gave me this strange look I had never seen at that point of my life.” She looked at me firmly and said” YOU KNOW WHAT I WANT,” I really didn’t know but I had a pretty good idea. My eyes began to sparkle as I thought my lucky day had finally arrived. I told her to wait a second as I got ready and plotted my plan.
I needed a place, this was definitely not going to happen in my house with my sisters and parents in it. Lucky for me, we lived in a duplex, (two houses side by side.) No one lived next door and we used it as a storage room where we had a lot of things we didn’t really use. “That’s where I will take her I thought,” there was a couch, a lot of clothing material someone was using. I needed protection, to my luck, I had a condom as old as ‘Adam and Eve,’ one of my friends had given it to me.
After a while I found myself inside the empty side of the house, I obviously made out with the girl when she told me, “Let’s do this already.” I had simply forgotten to tell her I was a virgin and that I had never really done anything of this sort. To be honest I don’t think I had ever opened a condom prior to that encounter. I battled opening and properly installing something I’ve never used. It was like operating a DJ system for the first time, you know what it does and what it’s good for, but you need to learn how to use it properly before anything.
The next step was even more difficult, where do I go from here? This girl wasn’t helping much, I had no clue, I kept kissing her as I kept plotting the plan in my head. I really had no idea and at this point I began to rethink the idea that this would be my lucky day. When all of a sudden, in case you’re wondering, no, I didn’t get lucky, my neighbor came inside and said “Who’s there?” I jumped up like a springboard and said, “It’s me, I’m just sitting here, you know.” She didn’t say anything, so I thought.” It didn’t happen, It wasn’t my lucky day after all. My mother found out and sometimes that’s the worse thing that can actually happen. “So you’re bringing girls over now big boy? (Slap.)” I really had nothing to say, I had lost twice in less then a day. The most important thing came the next day, I told everyone that I had gotten lucky and that I was the man.
It was completely a lie but I ran with the story because that’s what boys that age usually do, today I laugh when I think how silly, young and stupid we can be as teenagers. Thank for reading and feel free to share my teenage luck with your friends, it’s simple, just click on your social media site of preference. Follow me on twitter@mlinares10