Will you be my Valentine?

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To many, today you remember scars of love, new fires and passion that you’ve never felt before. The pinnacle of what you think love means.

It’s finally here (again) and perhaps you’ve made plans for a romantic dinner or a vacation with your love one. You might be part of those 1.6 billion dollars that are spent on this 14th of February. The day of love for all the couples out there and a day of friendship for the rest of us who are not in committed relationships (LONERS).  Yet this day isn’t all smiles for many, a lot of you have shed more than one tear, have said goodbye to people who make you unhappy.  I’m sure a lot of men will get drunk out of their minds reminiscing on an old love and mistakes they’ve made, because on this day they’re alone. For more then 24 hours you will be reminded and surrounded by flowers, chocolate and wine. People kissing, hugging and buying cards all over the country.

Why is it that on Valentines most of our friends feel like they will never find love?  For some reason we’ve let media dictate the way we feel and when to feel it. Love doesn’t only exist or should be recognize on February the 14th.  On the contrary it should only be the highlight of what Love means to you.  If you’re alone without a soul mate, it doesn’t mean you’ve failed.  Don’t kick yourself in the head because you don’t have a partner to share this commercialized day with.

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Valentines has become the day when most people like to show off the love they actually don’t have. “My love and I are so happy together,” reads the post on every social media site they belong too. “I’m so happy and thankful for my babe he/she is the love of my life.”  They say that gentlemen no longer exist and that chivalry is dead, you know what’s really dying? LOVE. The way we see it, the way we perceive it and the amount of respect we give love has diminished at the speed of light.

We’ve stopped respecting love and decided to throw the words out there like they are that unimportant, “I love you, I love you, and I love you.”  Where have you left your dignity fellow men?  Men will throw those words out like dollar bills in a strip club in order to get what they want. Quite frankly dinner and wine will get many men lucky this valentine. That’s how a lot of you define love nowadays.

Yea, those days that many of our parents lived are no longer in existence. A lot of people confuse sex and love. They fall in love with sex and believe they’re in love when it actually doesn’t work that way. The numbers of poems and love quotes on this day is very high and ridiculous. But my women want to hear it, they want it whispered in their ear on this specific day in order to feel wanted and acknowledged.  You can bet your bottom dollar people will also break up tomorrow; it’s just the way this day goes.

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Before you assume or jump the gun, I do believe in love. I believe you should dine and wine the ish out of your lady. I don’t believe it should be on this exact day, it should be every day of the year (or once a week).  You shouldn’t have to wait till the calendar strikes 14th of February in order to tell that special someone how you truly feel. Or to remind someone what they mean to you. Now let’s not confuse casual dating and real love, doesn’t hurt to be nice but you must be able to tell the difference.  Are we asshoes?  No we’re not, at least I like to believe that men can still be saved, that we can rescue love and truly show women that somewhere inside there’s a wall blocking that stream of love that is waiting to flow like a wild river. A romantic side of us that not many women get to see but that is hidden inside of us.  We live and learn in order to move and take giants steps in life.  On this valentine day perhaps you should be grateful to be alive and able to take another breath of air. Valentines day has never define what your love life is or will be, is just another day in the calendar.  You my friend don’t need a commercialized day in order to acknowledge love.  If you’re no longer in a relationship, I’m sure you’ve heard that everything in this life happens for a reason.  Love yourself and love the people most important to you.

Take care and don’t forget:

” Mama said: You can’t hurry love,  no you’ll just have to wait, she said  love don’t come easy, it’s a game of give and take…….remixxxxxxxxxx  I’m….I’m so in love with you!! whatever you want to do…is alright with me! Because you make me feel so brand neeeeeew.”

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Opposite sex best friends

Nowadays it’s dubious to see a men and a women have a clean, untarnished friendship. With that said, can men and women really be friends or better said, can they be best friends?

This is conceivably the issue with a high percentage of couples today. Therefore I ask, can opposite genders really maintain a strict friendship. It’s permitted to have a best friend, what becomes a problem is having a best friend of the opposite sex. The thought of two people hooking up, or something simply not looking right, always comes up in relationships.

Boys will be boys that’s why this blog is only for fully grown men. I’ll get to the point and take off from there. Yes, it’s possible to have a best friend of the opposite sex. Many factors do come in between but if you’re asking yourself if it can be done, well let me hit a few key points, thoughts and examples.

Machismo is a very common lifestyle for Latin men all over the world. Yet again, machismo has transcendent worldwide. The belief that “I wear the pants and I’m the man of the house, therefore you do what I say,” type of mentality. It’s specifically this type of men that can’t see their female partners in a healthy friendship with the opposite sex. Their DNA doesn’t function that way, not by choice but because they were raised that way.

Usually people get into relationships and you’ll never hear from them again, that’s because people try to avoid jeopardizing their new relationship. But what happens to the best friend when you’re in a relationship. Where do you leave the person who’s been there when you needed someone to listen to your problems and complaints. I’m talking about opposite gender best friends. Are you suppose to shut them out and erase them from your life in order to keep your new boyfriend/girlfriend happy? If this is what you’ve done in the past, you’re probably a terrible friend.

Every relationship should have 100 percent trust in the beginning. Obviously as the bad choices accumulate, the percentage in your trust scale begins to decline. Despite all this, opposite sex friendships should not jeopardize anyone because your relationship should always have 100 percent trust. If you’ve made bad choice after bad choice, you’ve simply put yourself in a bad position.

I personally have a female best friend, I call her my diary because I’m allowed to confess my entire life without being judged. The person I go to when I need someone to listen or give me advice. Their’s more pros than cons in these relationships, you get all the inside information on the opposite sex. As questionable as it might seem to certain people, the line of respect is always drawn. No one should doubt your ability to make the right choices even when you’re in an uncomfortable situation. Reason why, because at the end of the day the call is always yours.

Finding that opposite sex best friend isn’t a simple task, that friend that likes you for who you are and not for what you have. No, you shouldn’t have to pick and choose between friends and relationships. On the contrary, your partner and yourself have to respect if a friendship was already established prior to the existence of your current or future relationship. Remember that this is only my opinion and you might disagree with me completely which is okay.

We can say this is the adult way of observing this dilemma. As confusing as it might appear, this problem seems to keep going on today in the 21st century. Ridiculous? yes it is but what can you do when people fail to understand that we live in a new time and era.

A best friend symbolizes a special bond and connection. Doesn’t necessarily mean you as boyfriend or girlfriend can’t compensate for everything that goes on in the relationship. We all need room and venting space at times, that’s why best friends were made. I’ve personally surround myself with woman because I love to know what’s going on in the female brain, my female friends might agree when I say that I’m always one or two steps ahead of the game. This has all been possible due to the fact that I have a female best friend and very close special women in my life.

The machismo mentality is old fashion but old habits die hard as some might say. Every relationship should have equal or close to equal pull. Insecurities are a sign of weakness in a person. No one should make you feel uncomfortable because what’s yours is yours and no one can take that away. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, is the fact that when people have malice intent there’s no holding them back. If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to cheat on you, they will find a way to do it even if you believe you got everything under control.

The problem has never been having a best friend of the opposite sex. The problem will always be that you’re dating someone with insecurities and a machismo mentality. You might not believe it but people can actually change. When someone wants to keep you in their life, they will find a way to change over a period of time of course. If they choose not to, your answer is right there in front of you.

There’s a difference between an existing best friend and a new emerging best friend which might be a little more difficult to understand or justify. It’s okay to make new friends, what will always matter here is the amount of trust handed out. If you can’t deal with it, perhaps you’re in the wrong relationship.

Embrace your opposite sex best friend but always remember that a line has to be drawn. People in this situation already know this and understand that it’s not worth loosing a friendship over a bad decision. “Why can’t we be friends, why can’t we be friends!!!”

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