You don’t need that

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You don’t need that

We all have them, they come in different personalities, and they ignore you, distract you or simply don’t acknowledge your existence. People, I’m here to tell you, “You don’t need that.”

If you’re one of those persons that believes that you can change people, I pray that God shows you the light. Don’t get me wrong, people can change, the thing is that you can’t change people against their own will, please keep reading. What I’m saying is that people change on their own terms and not yours.

Have you ever heard guys saying they are after a girl but she really doesn’t respond? Yes, it happens. She probably doesn’t because you’re not the one for her. Maybe you don’t drive a BMW, Benz therefore she doesn’t want to be seen in your Toyota. Perhaps you don’t pop bottles in the club therefore she doesn’t want to go out dancing with you. My friends let me tell you, “You don’t need that.”

Let’s get one thing straight, not every women out there is that way. On another note, like my sister once told me: “Can you write about guys dressing nice.” Truth is that if you are complaining about girls, you better be doing everything you’re suppose to be doing as well. Dressing nice is perhaps a really important thing, more like a priority. If you need advice, is called GQ magazine. Quit wasting your money on liquor and booze and go buy yourself some new shoes because “You don’t need that.”

If the girl you’re after is more concerned about how much money you spend on her every time you go out, “You don’t need that.” Who ever you date should like you for who you are inside. This does not give you the right to be a cheap ass. You’re still supposed to offer to pay, buy dinner, open the door to your car, and compliment your girl on how beautiful she looks. I personally learned that lesson the hard way many years ago. I decided that if that was the case, I would turn in to the biggest sweetheart this universe has ever seen. I’ve now had the opportunity and pleasure to date women from all over the world, (lucky me.) “I would like to thank my ex girlfriend for making a choice that opened my eyes, thank you, I couldn’t have done it without you!” Because in reality, “I don’t need that!”

Back to the point….

I tell my girl friends the same thing. Stop worrying about how much “Swag” guys have. ‘Swag’ will only get you so far in this life. Let’s see where your man’s ‘swag’ is 10 years from now without higher education. Not that you need a higher education degree to be successful but today “Swagg” went from cool to thuglife, “Say what?”

“I have swagg, check my shoes homie.” That is indeed not winning.

Ladies, I’ve noticed the real smart girls are in long committed relationships, maybe because ‘Swagg’ is not a priority. I salute those smart one’s still remaining. If guys aren’t responding your text messages, “You don’t need that.” If a guy can’t respect you for whom you are, doesn’t acknowledge your effort and spends more time with his friends than he does with you, “You don’t need that.” It’s 2012, maybe it’s time we’ll do some cleaning in our lives, get rid of the people who serve as bad influence. Hey, don’t get mad at me for telling you the truth.

In general…..

If you have people who are a hazard to your good health, job, goals and future, I can easily tell you that, “You don’t need that.” Goodness sake, let’s all join forces and get rid of the people who’ve put a halt on our road to success. This life is too short to waste it on people who take up space in our lives. Instead, embrace and hold tight to those who influence your life in a positive manner. I’m not the guru here, we’re learning together. Life is a journey, a roller coaster that we control, it’s not easy but I’m sure we’ll live.

If people are too busy, work too much or are always unavailable, friends do your self a favor an cut them off. Have some dignity for your own sake. No such thing as being too busy to send a ‘hello’ text. It takes about 30 seconds or less, I’ve timed myself. Don’t be cruel and tell people you don’t like them, simple as that. People who ignore you, or are too occupied all the time. People who constantly cancel on you but you see them partying with other people when you check your FB, “You don’t need that.”

Fun stuff, See you guys next week. Follow me on Twitter: @mlinares10 Feel free to share this on your favorite social media site. Simply click on your icon of preference and bam! You’ve shared this with all your friends. Next week, “Once a cheater, always a cheater?” You’ll find out.

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*Picture credit : google.com

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Opposite sex best friends

Nowadays it’s dubious to see a men and a women have a clean, untarnished friendship. With that said, can men and women really be friends or better said, can they be best friends?

This is conceivably the issue with a high percentage of couples today. Therefore I ask, can opposite genders really maintain a strict friendship. It’s permitted to have a best friend, what becomes a problem is having a best friend of the opposite sex. The thought of two people hooking up, or something simply not looking right, always comes up in relationships.

Boys will be boys that’s why this blog is only for fully grown men. I’ll get to the point and take off from there. Yes, it’s possible to have a best friend of the opposite sex. Many factors do come in between but if you’re asking yourself if it can be done, well let me hit a few key points, thoughts and examples.

Machismo is a very common lifestyle for Latin men all over the world. Yet again, machismo has transcendent worldwide. The belief that “I wear the pants and I’m the man of the house, therefore you do what I say,” type of mentality. It’s specifically this type of men that can’t see their female partners in a healthy friendship with the opposite sex. Their DNA doesn’t function that way, not by choice but because they were raised that way.

Usually people get into relationships and you’ll never hear from them again, that’s because people try to avoid jeopardizing their new relationship. But what happens to the best friend when you’re in a relationship. Where do you leave the person who’s been there when you needed someone to listen to your problems and complaints. I’m talking about opposite gender best friends. Are you suppose to shut them out and erase them from your life in order to keep your new boyfriend/girlfriend happy? If this is what you’ve done in the past, you’re probably a terrible friend.

Every relationship should have 100 percent trust in the beginning. Obviously as the bad choices accumulate, the percentage in your trust scale begins to decline. Despite all this, opposite sex friendships should not jeopardize anyone because your relationship should always have 100 percent trust. If you’ve made bad choice after bad choice, you’ve simply put yourself in a bad position.

I personally have a female best friend, I call her my diary because I’m allowed to confess my entire life without being judged. The person I go to when I need someone to listen or give me advice. Their’s more pros than cons in these relationships, you get all the inside information on the opposite sex. As questionable as it might seem to certain people, the line of respect is always drawn. No one should doubt your ability to make the right choices even when you’re in an uncomfortable situation. Reason why, because at the end of the day the call is always yours.

Finding that opposite sex best friend isn’t a simple task, that friend that likes you for who you are and not for what you have. No, you shouldn’t have to pick and choose between friends and relationships. On the contrary, your partner and yourself have to respect if a friendship was already established prior to the existence of your current or future relationship. Remember that this is only my opinion and you might disagree with me completely which is okay.

We can say this is the adult way of observing this dilemma. As confusing as it might appear, this problem seems to keep going on today in the 21st century. Ridiculous? yes it is but what can you do when people fail to understand that we live in a new time and era.

A best friend symbolizes a special bond and connection. Doesn’t necessarily mean you as boyfriend or girlfriend can’t compensate for everything that goes on in the relationship. We all need room and venting space at times, that’s why best friends were made. I’ve personally surround myself with woman because I love to know what’s going on in the female brain, my female friends might agree when I say that I’m always one or two steps ahead of the game. This has all been possible due to the fact that I have a female best friend and very close special women in my life.

The machismo mentality is old fashion but old habits die hard as some might say. Every relationship should have equal or close to equal pull. Insecurities are a sign of weakness in a person. No one should make you feel uncomfortable because what’s yours is yours and no one can take that away. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, is the fact that when people have malice intent there’s no holding them back. If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to cheat on you, they will find a way to do it even if you believe you got everything under control.

The problem has never been having a best friend of the opposite sex. The problem will always be that you’re dating someone with insecurities and a machismo mentality. You might not believe it but people can actually change. When someone wants to keep you in their life, they will find a way to change over a period of time of course. If they choose not to, your answer is right there in front of you.

There’s a difference between an existing best friend and a new emerging best friend which might be a little more difficult to understand or justify. It’s okay to make new friends, what will always matter here is the amount of trust handed out. If you can’t deal with it, perhaps you’re in the wrong relationship.

Embrace your opposite sex best friend but always remember that a line has to be drawn. People in this situation already know this and understand that it’s not worth loosing a friendship over a bad decision. “Why can’t we be friends, why can’t we be friends!!!”

Thank you for reading, please feel free to share this in your favorite social media site by clicking below. Follow me on Twitter: @mlinares10

The douche bag

If you’ve ever wondered why the men you date are douche bags, let me try to touch surface this Monday. When Google, Bing or the internet doesn’t supply me with the answers I seek, I write a blog to keep you folks entertained. As a young man, I’ve come to learn the in and outs of the male mind when it comes to women. This doesn’t mean I’m an expert on the field but I am very knowledgeable on the topic.

I’ve come to realize that if there’s one thing women really love about myself, is the bluntness when it comes to talking about men. The number of my female friends who seek a harsh but honest answer always increases. To the point where some of the woman I’ve dated in the past still keep in touch and often call with questions. Yes, concerns about their new guys and things that might be happening. Believe me when I say that this was not something I had planned for myself five years ago. Nonetheless, It’s something I’ve began to really enjoy because It also helps me learn and validate the things I already know.

I’m not the perfect man therefore I suggest you hold on before you write me that email asking for a date (joke.) One of my good buddies recently called telling me how she got stood up by a douche bag, yes, she waited and he never showed up. I personally wanted to see the guy just to punch him in the face, no women or men should ever have to put up with a situation of that sort. Then I remembered that I can’t get in any of that type of trouble if I want to seek a career in my field.

Why are douche bags douches?

There’s really not a specific definition, everyone has a different explanation specially woman because they deal with them the most. Douche bags could be defined as pompous an egotistical. You don’t have to be a good looking guy to be a douche bag, that’s perhaps a big misconception out in the real world. Douche bags like to believe they’re are God’s gift to the earth. Although there’s a few type of people that fall in to this category, douche bags are up there on the list. Douche bags like to be the smart and funny guy who believes he’s better than everyone else. Have you ever met a guy that likes to make fun of people, or other guys? Yes, the one that thinks he’s cooler than the rest of the group because he has things no one else has, likes to show off and rub it in people’s faces in a negative way. Are you picturing this guy? That’s Mr. Douche bag believe it or not.

But why are guys douche bags to women?

Women don’t make douche bags, these boys (because boys is what they are) earn that title with the guys. If you were a boy scout or a girl scout you know you have to earn badges which you proudly wear. Well my friends, that douche bag badge is up their in the hierarchy table of men. Now why are they that way with women? The following is no top secret, it’s perhaps the worse kept secret that many of us tend to ignore. Douche bags like to feel powerful and in control at all times. I’ve never met a down to earth guy who’s a douche bag, that would be ironic if you ask me.

The douche bag always wants to dictate the paste and never really gives in to demands. Most importantly, douche bags are or can’t be honest with the women they date. Always leading them on, telling them that things are moving in a certain direction when it’s truly not. Douche bags can’t be honest and some women simply can’t decipher the codes that sit right in front of them. A man that can’t call or text a woman to tell her he’s not making a set date for whatever reason is a giant douche. I can’t call this type of male a man at all, these are boys in a mens body.

Honesty can take you far in life but some douche bags couldn’t be honest even if their life depended on it. A man that doesn’t have the decency to be upfront about things can’t really be called a man, that’s why they’re douche bags. Yet again, there’s always time to change but of course douche bags will resist. Why? Because in their mind, they are right and you are wrong. It’s the cool thing to do so there’s no reason to change it.

You love them…

Okay, now we know what makes a douche bag and we also know how they think to a certain degree. Despite all of those things you still love them. Something about them you like and can’t find anywhere else. You keep blaming these guys because of the way they’re but you’re the one who seems to always seek the same trades in a men. A douche bag will go as far as you let them go. There’s a difference between a men who tells you his clear intentions and one who leads you in the wrong direction. That’s like walking with a blindfold over your eyes and simply following directions. There’s different degrees of douche, you can’t judge them all by the same meter. The only thing you do control is how far you let a douche go on.

If the men hasn’t changed out of his own free will, don’t expect him to change by some divine intervention. A douche bag doesn’t aspire to change, they always want to keep the party going and as soon as you get that through your head, you will see the light. I know too many girls who date douche bags, (Girls because women date men and not boys.) This blog has made me a lot of new friends and followers, yet again it has also led many people to dislike me because of the things I talk about. I’m not in it for the fame or to make new friends, I’m it to write and speak my mind, if you don’t like the truth that’s too bad. Let’s hope we touched the surface in a complex topic that many of you ladies have found yourselves confounded by. Remember, douche bags are that way by choice, if you are dating one is also by choice and by choice you will also suffer the consequences.

Feel free to share by clicking on your favorite social media site down below, until next time. Follow me on Twitter: @mlinares10

The breakup

Can you remember your biggest breakup? The one that hit you deep down inside? The one you dwelled over for months or years? Yes, the one that changed your life whether it was for the greater good or not. Breakups, we’ll hate them but sometimes we can’t control them. Breakup-The act of ending something, dissolution, termination or conclusion, the end of a relationship. An act that we can’t control unless you’re the initiator of the break up.

Breakups can be experienced in two different ways, the person who’s leaving versus the person who is being left. Before we move forward, we need to understand that sometimes people are forced into moving on because is the best choice for them. For example, you caught your boyfriend or girlfriend cheating or committing foul play, that’s a reason to put on your thinking cap on and move along. At this instance, the experience reverses, the person leaving, is forced into a choice they probably never really consider making. A really tough decision we can’t all make,that’s probably the reason why you see a lot of women put up with guys even after catching them in the act. You can see them trying to mend broken relationships, nevertheless, there’s certain things that can’t be taped back together.

Personally, I use to believe that the older you were, the more mature you became, I assumed it was a rule in life that age equaled to be mature, boy was I wrong. Maybe 50 years ago when chivalry was still alive you could make that argument. Today I sit and listen to my grandmother and mother speak about their young days and love. A man would come to a woman’s window to simply look and stare at the person they loved. A tale where hearts were broken because parents had the last word on who you were allowed to be with and who you weren’t allow to see. In order to get married you needed the blessing of a father and mother. Today chivalry is an endangered species, you can’t find it anywhere. It takes me back to my visit to Maryland many years ago where I had the privilege to observe an America Bald Eagle. An eagle so endangered, you’re bless if you ever have the opportunity to observe it in it’s natural habitat. Chivalry isn’t dead, it’s simply an endanger species amongst human beings because we don’t really care for it anymore. (We can talk about chivalry some other time.)

The one being left

Today, is hard to find people who can truly say a breakup was a mutual agreement between two people. A breakup is more like soap opera, one of the two parties has decided to leave a person for someone or something else. Many people call this confusion but don’t be fooled my friends, I’ve met to many broken hearts that say otherwise. I recall my breakup, the pinch inside your heart when you believe you were dead but somehow still walking. The anxiety attacks, lack of air to your lungs, the lack of sleep at night. Yes, you don’t eat, you think about all the things that you probably did wrong, whether they’re known or unknown. You’re in a search to find the reason of where and why things fell apart. Don’t worry, if you’re a human being you probably committed countless mistakes, that my friend’s is part of life. You will probably spend 100 years searching and you will never find out.

The person being left will always have a much harder time understanding why things happen the way they do. It doesn’t mean you’re wrong, it simply means that it wasn’t for you, when you’re able to understand that, you will be able to understand why things happen. We’re creatures of habit, we get attached to people, things and sometimes it’s hard letting go. Take my baby niece for example, she’s attached to her blanket, she won’t let it go even though it’s old and ready to go out to the garbage can. Sometimes breakups can be seen that way. We know it’s over but we can’t let it go, somehow it becomes an addiction we seek, we understand it’s not good for our heart but yet we try to meet out needs. There’s some psychological term for this, one of my buddies is a PHD student, whenever I need someone to give me these terms, I call her up. This friend knows her material and I’m certain a successful career in marriage and relationship counseling awaits her.

If there was one thing I did do, it was turn to my old chivalry ways, I wrote letters, sent countless cards, delivered flowers. Before it was over, I believed that I had to do everything in my power to go out with a bang. I had to play all the cards in my deck to walk away peacefully and that is exactly what I did. The funny thing was that my ex girlfriend didn’t know I already knew more than she imagined. But I never brought it up, I never mentioned I knew her real reasons. I wanted to keep it civil and I didn’t want to lose my good image. I simply promised to never bad mouth the woman, not my style, why start today? I knew her every move because word of mouth travels to fast. “Where did I go wrong? what did I do? maybe this or that?” I told myself for months after the breakup. It didn’t really mattered, it was an eye opener, “Sometimes breakups are not meant for make ups, they’re more like a wake up.”

It was time for me to wake up and realized that I had a lot of things to accomplish in my life. Am I the only one who’s ever felt that? No, we all go through it, some of us simply don’t want to accept it. My dreams and goals had derailed from their proper tracks. It wasn’t easy but somehow I found my fire again. I started listening to the people around me and realized how I was simply one more case in a world filled with heartbreaks. One of my friends was getting divorced, make that two or three friends. Another close friends found out he dated a married woman for almost three years. This is the life and time we live in. It didn’t make me feel any better that my friends were going through worse moments than myself. On the contrary, the breakup helped me climb up my man ladder. That reality check where you tell yourself to grow up, keep learning and move along the road.

If you missed my blog last week, I talked about Karma, it was a hit let me tell you, check it out if you have minute or two. That’s what usually follows after someone tears your heart out, or perhaps that’s what you’ve earned after your own number of mistakes. Don’t worry, I’m okay, my heart is good and strong beating like a drum in a drum circle. Filled with love and joy not anger and resent because as cliche as it might sound, the line between love and hate is very thin. People, woman to be more upfront usually ask me, “Where’s the guy who writes all the sweet stuff?” Well, he’s there, but hearts aren’t simply handed out, you earn them. I once said that love is a big tree, you plant the seed, you take care of it, you nourish it and enjoy it once it’s big and strong. I don’t believe you plant a seed and get a tree the next morning.

Without certain breakups, some of us wouldn’t be doing the things we’re doing today. I wouldn’t be writing, working out as much as I do, improving myself as a man. “They said the best way to get over a broken heart was to fall in love again, so I fell in love with myself, the best relationship in my life.” If you’ve been broken hearted, don’t doubt that love will come looking for you again. Just don’t expect it because it doesn’t work that way. Not every experience you have with another man or woman means it will end up in love. Instead keep learning, keep improving yourself in order to be ready when it finds you again.

BS Break up lines

  1. It’s not you, it’s me
  2. I need to find myself again
  3. Hope we can stay friends
  4. I’m confused
  5. Need to find my self worth
  6. You were never there! (Where was I than?)
  7. I’m always going to love you
  8. Maybe we need some time off
  9. It’s not going to happen
  10. (add yours)

Thank you for reading, please feel free to share this on your favorite social media site of preference. Drop me a comment and follow me on twitter @mlinares10

Karma in relationships

Karma

Karma, wouldn’t you agree that it’s a bi$%^? Despite the fact that many might say that it doesn’t exist, oh, it’s real my friends. Karma, it has no expiration date, it never forgets, it doesn’t accept apologies and it makes you pay sooner or later. I recall having a conversation with a few friends about karma and relationships. The debate had several good points, it went back and forward as we debated if karma really exist. Perhaps the phrase that most caught my attention was an opinion by a friend, “Karma is something someone bitter made up.”

I’m a firm believer that anything bad or unjust done to another human being has to be paid in this life time. This would mean that if you literally cheated, mistreated, verbally or physically, abused another person, you have to pay the price. Before I continue to proceed, what is Karma? Where does it come from? Karma is a hinduism and Buddhist believe, (to name a couple) action seen as bringing upon once self inevitable results good or bad. Simple as that, there’s a million definitions but this was the easiest to understand during my search.

I would describe Karma as a never ending cycle, it keeps going and going until there’s a stop. This would mean you can’t really go an “eye for an eye and tooth for a tooth.” It would be more like a Jesus move, turn the other cheek and keep moving. If you’ve ever cheated, or if you’ve ever broken a heart, most likely Karma has a bounty on your head. You might have repented, or perhaps you even said you were sorry, but in reality apologies are sometimes not sufficient to get you a free get out of jail card. It’s like being a kid all over again, I’m sure you hit one of your friends, made them cried and said you were sorry. Nevertheless, the damage had already been done, you made him/her cry, then you were sorry. Okay, you were a kid, you had an excuse to act wreckless, you’re judgement was not on point at that age.

Let’s throw another example out there, if you drive a car and pass a red light where there’s cameras installed, most like you’ll get a ticket. Few weeks after you get hit on the mail with a 500 dollar fine for breaking the law. To make it worse, they have you a camera breaking the law, they took a picture of you smiling as you drove thinking you were pretty slick. The truth is that you now have to pay your dues, there’s no “I’m sorry your honor, I didn’t mean to do it, I promise I’ll change from now on.” You can bet your bottom dollar the judge won’t really care what your reason was for doing it, all that matters is that you pay the price for being negligent, naive and dumb to do such a thing.

Yes, Karma works similar to that, I’ve decided to focus this on relationships and heartbreaks because I think many of you might relate to this. I myself have found myself on both sides of the coin. Am I bitter? I can honestly say that I’m not, if anything I’ve endured the hard lessons by life, I’ve embraced them and changed the ways I see certain things. I’m not the perfect man, I’ve never met a perfect person and if you have, please introduce me to that person, it would be an honor. I’m not pointing fingers, I’m not saying certain people will be victims of Karma but I’am saying that many people out there like to pretend that it doesn’t exist. Maybe it’s not Karma, perhaps it has a different name wherever you come from. The truth is that you can’t run away from it. The Karma I speak of can be positive or negative. You do a good deed and most likely you will be rewarded. With that said, many of us run around like we are the exception, like things won’t eventually catch up to us. If this was true, wouldn’t we all be much happier? Wouldn’t we have less divorces and breakups? It’s crazy but it’s true and it sucks for those who still haven’t paid their price.

One of my close friends is going through a divorce, great woman who works to prove that she doesn’t need a man to validate her existence. After many years of marriage she found out her ex husband was having an affair with another woman, this led her to find out things that really scarred her inside. This guy had it all, he made less money than she did, had her credit cards and was spoiled like few man are nowadays. It’s usually the other way around but this friend wanted her husband to have it all. Until she found out that he was buying condoms with her money. It’s sad but it’s only one of millions of similar stories I’m sure. There’s nothing like an awful split between two person’s, it stings, it hurts to see someone you loved hurt you that bad and try to explain why they have done what they’ve done.

“I’m sorry, I never meant to hurt you,” said my ex girlfriend thinking it was sufficient enough to earn forgiveness. I’ve forgiven her but not because she said “Sorry,” I forgave her for the simple reason that the line between love and hate is very thin. Because I know Karma is much more cruel and it creeps around when you least expect it. Why am I telling you this? Well, personally for me it’s been some time now, I’m over it to the point where I can openly talk about it and feel nothing. Yet, I listen to similar stories and can relate to the feeling. You can’t expect Karma to act when you want it to, it’s something that happens on it’s own. It occurs when you’re not expecting it, when you probably don’t really care much about the situation anymore. We don’t control Karma, what we do control is our actions. The one’s that determine what the outcome will become, whether it’s positive or negative.

My friend is now a big shot on one of the most important companies in the country. She’s small as a chihuahua but attacks like a Lion. While her ex husbands shows symptons of repenting, it’s sad to say it doesn’t work that way. While his life keeps going down the drain, my friend keeps climbing that ladder of success. As for my ex girlfriend, I’m not sure, I don’t really dig for dirt. You know what they say, “Don’t go digging in the dirt if you don’t want to get your hands dirty.” I’m sure she knows her time is coming and I truly don’t care because it’s no longer my problem. Karma, you think it doesn’t exist? good luck with that and remember what you read here when it does find you.

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Are you mature?

Are you mature?

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Are you mature when it comes to relationships and dating?

For too long we’ve been taught that maturity comes with age and the number of experiences we go through in life. Dolefully, this my friend isn’t true, age doesn’t define maturity despite the fact that many people believe it does. If you’re asking, “please define mature sir?” Well, since you brought it up, the definition that most fits my point is; “Having reached full natural growth or development.” That development can be mental, we all lack maturity in some areas of our lives. There’s no such thing as a perfect human being. With all this said, let’s cut it down just a little more. We’ll know teenagers are immature in most cases, we also know that most women act or reach maturity faster than men.

When it comes to relationships and dating, how do you define mature? We’ve all, or most of us have experienced some type of break, a point in a relationship, or an emerging relationship (Dating) where there’s an end to things. Do you remember the old high school days where your friends or perhaps yourself would end a relationship? Yes, the day when your named got trashed or you defamed someone for the rest of their high school days. You were a teenager, you had an excuse to be dumb, naive and pretty much immature. The older you got, the more you claimed to have grown up, to have changed, to have learned from those young days.

Did you really?

If you paid attention, most people didn’t change, they continued cheating, lying, deceiving the people around them while claiming to be “mature.” In a recent conversation with a close friend, we exchanged stories about past relationship and people we’ve dated. This girlfriend had dated a man, or a boy to be more accurate, that had ended their relationship through a text message. I shook my head, but not in disbelieve. This boy had decided to put an end to a long relationship via text message and email. When my friend confronted this boy, the ex simply couldn’t do it face to face. He was to immature to say things weren’t working out, or to explain they’ve grown apart. Besides being immature, I told my friend that this person was really a coward, why? because as adults, either man or woman, the right thing would be to confront such a problem face to face, not via text or email. Don’t get it wrong, the word coward or immature has no gender, they come in all shapes and sizes. Beautiful, ugly, handsome or gorgeous, appearances can be deceiving.

Nonetheless, our society has taken things to the next level, we don’t call people, we text them because it’s simply easier to deal with things that way. Despite all that, a breakup should never be handled via text or email. It’s not the adult thing to do, I’m sure our parents thought us that lesson when we were kids. At least some of our fathers explained the “do’s and don’t” of marriage or relationships. This is where you stop, take a deep breath and realize that the number of adults who act their age is less than the number acting like children.

Back to my friend

She proceeded to explain that her ex was mature, that he was different until it came to that breakup. Hmm, seems to me like that act of a child, when I was a kid, I would write notes asking girls if they liked me or not, (circle yes or no.) It was hard to explain to my friend that being older doesn’t necessarily mean you have learned what relationships are all about. I’ll tell you the story of a woman I dated, she was attracting, beautiful, hard worker, yet when things didn’t work out, she decided to send me a text. I decided to call and actually try to fix things, she wasn’t able to pick up, instead she text me saying “I can’t do this.” Whatever that meant was enough reason for her to end things. I believe in respecting people’s decisions, you have to accept things and part ways on certain occasions. If you believe that immature people can be changed by your actions, let me tell you that you’re on the wrong path.

I’ll ask you this, if you have a friend that dates a bad person, one of those man or woman who have bad all over them, are they mature? Staying in a relationship or trying to fix something broken is another form of being immature. Yet again, human beings are creatures of habit. We get use to things and people to the point that it becomes really difficult to let them go and move on. Theres occasions when things can be salvaged but that’s hardly the case wouldn’t you agree?

I will reiterate that my blog is not about putting anyone on out there, okay, I’m lying, I enjoy doing this. Karma, isn’t it a bitch? Don’t worry, we can talk about that next week with more details. Today we can remain focus on dating and being in relationship with “mature” adults.

Men

In case you’re wondering, yes, this goes out to some of the the guys I know, we tend to disagree on many things. I stopped believing in playing relationships and dating games. Like many of the women that I know, I’m very upfront, my memory is pretty awesome and I tend not to forget things that easily, it’s those Omega 369 I tell you. They say they’re good for the brain, perhaps that’s why my memory remains in tact.

If a man or woman hasn’t cherished you after all the things you’ve done in a relationship, don’t expect them to change all of a sudden. Sometimes it takes hard lessons in life for us to really value the important things in front of us. To be mature is to have the mental capacity to handle things like real adults. To hold your ground and refrained from using derogatory language. It’s the ability to be able to confront things head on and walk away when things aren’t working with your gentleman or lady card in hand. I constantly run in to my ex girlfriend and even though I would have a valid point to not talk to her, I rather say “hello,” give her a kiss on the cheek and walk away. When it came down to it, I didn’t lose as much as she did, (Gentleman card still in my hand.)

We’re not perfect, men nor women can declare perfection in a world with flaws. It’s time to start acting our age, the party days come to an end eventually. Today is simply a good day to let some of the people around you know, “I see your immaturity.” For those that think that maturity is a fancy car, job or wearing heels, you have it twisted. Maturity is owning up to your actions and feelings face to face, not in a cowardly text or email. I’m not making this up, this is some real stuff many of you might agree with. If you’re making funny faces at the screen, perhaps you fit into this category of immature people. The older you get, the more embarrassed you should be to act in such a manner.

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I’m not that type

My women are smart no doubt

“Men are liars, deceiving, manipulative, players, horn dogs and practically all of them are same.” If you’re a man like myself, you’ve heard this from a girlfriend once or twice in your life time. I’m not going to argue the fact that a high number of men probably fit right into this category. When men are put on this position, a defense mechanism switch turns on, imagine Optimus Prime transforming from truck to giant robot in a matter of seconds. The immediate response to such an attack usually is, “I’m different,” In some situations this might be true but in most cases it’s probably not. “They all say that, every men says he’s different but they are all the same,” said the angry woman.

I’m different

The response has become so cliche that woman won’t buy it, you need action behind it. It takes several unmanly acts to prove that you’re indeed on a different class and that you’re not indeed a douche bags like 90 percent of other men. You might be thinking you know where this is heading but let me stop you right there. Let’s talk a little about the other side of the coin. If “I’m different,” is one of the most popular lines used by men, than what would be the most commonly used line by women? wait for it, wait for it, “I’m not that type of girl,” ding, ding, ding.

You’re not that type of girl, therefore what type of girl are you? Are you the type that puts herself in awkward situations in which you have to clarify that you’re not that type of girl? Well, how did you end up in the situation you’ve found yourself in? Men might be con artist, deceiving and many other things but women are no saints in this game, it most certainly takes two to tango. This is indeed not an attack on women, I love women, anyone who knows me might tell you I’m infatuated with women, I have more sisters than you have aunt’s and uncles, (True story.) This term has been on my mind for quite sometime now. The line is a woman’s self defense mechanism to shield an image. I’ve never met a woman that want’s to have a terrible public image, we live in a world where we judge others by appearance, nevertheless by actions. Most women are so concern about what other women say about them, that it sometimes leads to depression. In our modern era that would be a negative or subliminal messages on Facebook or Twitter.

Girl 1: “Girl, did you see what she posted on Facebook/Twitter? I know she was talking about us!”

Girl 2: “Mmm I’m about to go post what she did last week, shoot.”

What does it mean?

I’ve heard it from a number of guys, what does it mean? “I’m not that type of girl,” usually translates to, “I’m not a whore, I don’t want you to think I’m a lady of the evening.” The thing is that in the moment no one is making such claims or accusations. Men could be dogs but they won’t dare ask that question. Imagine yourself being intimate with a guy or being a guy and asking, “Wait a second, are you that type of girl?” It really doesn’t happen that way. Now, your actions might speak differently of you, if this is a thing you practice often, perhaps you should ask yourself if you’re that type of girl. What do I mean? If you committed the same maneuver with guys that might know each other than you’re probably the type of girl you’re trying not to be. Guys talk, don’t be fooled, the only way most guys won’t talk about it, is when things are leading in a serious direction or they’re simply keeping you a secret. Up to this point I keep asking myself, who made that up? who started that line, it must of been a woman.

Let’s go back

Why do women say this? Usually it’s for guys who go for the kill on the first date, it’s a response that say’s “I don’t do this with everyone,” when a woman finds herself attracted or interested to a man, “EASY” is the last thing she want’s to be seen as. In order to try to get this as correct as possible, I practically interviewed more than a handful of woman. They all answered differently but agreed that I had a valid point when I presented my argument. The last thing I need, is for my readers to think I’m making things up, I do this for you guys. After questioning some of these woman like they’ve committed a murder, one answer stood out the most. “I’ve never had to say that to any men.” Okay, I thought to myself, “She’s never been in that situation, what do I ask her now? and then it hit me.”

This girl is a realist, she knows what she’s doing and she’s a woman about it, she has no reason to front or make up stories, men respect that 100 percent. I called one of my most dependable female sources and discussed the topic, her answers always enlighten my brain. “I don’t usually do this but you’re special to me,” she added as a line women throw out there to cover their tracks. The choices we make belong to each one of us and no one else, whether they’re right or wrong, they belong to us. “I’m not that type of girl,” has become as cliche as “I’m different, the exception and difference to all men.” Ladies, take a minute and think back, have you ever said that to a guy? was it because he was trying to hit a home run like Albert Pujols? If you did, how far in did you throw the famous line in? Think about it.

Have you ever acknowledged that by saying “I’m not that type of girl,” you’re only judging yourself and inviting the other person to judge you as well? When perhaps the thought of you being any type has not even crossed the mind. It’s time women own up to their actions and decisions like adults. Don’t be so quick to pull the trigger and start being a women about your choices. If you made the decision, own it and don’t let your conscious play guilt tricks on you.

Thank you guys for reading and sharing, please click on your social media icon of preference down below, it’s that simple. All it takes is a click to share this with your friends, thank you for following and reading, the fact you guys keep coming back inspires me to keep writing and it only gets better. Follow me Twitter: @mlinares10