The hopeless romantic syndrome

If you haven’t noticed, I’ve been missing for a few weeks. Not by personal choice if you’re truly wondering. The feeling of being computer less is like walking naked in public, you can feel something is missing, (clothes in that case.) My fingers have been aching to touch a real keyboard, one that is not touch screen or on my phone. I love, love, love to stay in touch with the outer world. I couldn’t live without all of you who follow my blogs. Okay, maybe I’m taking it a step too far with all the sentimental expressions.

Have you ever asked yourself what a hopeless romantic is? Are you a hopeless romantic? You know, the type of person who is in love with being in love. Yes, I’m sure you have plenty of those friends. Nowadays there’s no way to hide from them, they pollute your social news feed every day. Well, at least they believe they’re hopeless romantics.

Many people argue that being a hopeless romantic is the equivalent of believing in chivalry. For some is a notion that no longer exist, for others is simply something you truly have to search hard and long for. Let’s be real here, the hopeless romantics these days have turned out to be a bunch of phonies. They claim to live a hopeless romantic lifestyle but their actions demonstrate quite the opposite.

If you’re wondering, yes I’m talking about the one’s that say and live different lifestyles on the weekends. This is indeed for all of them. The reality is that most alleged hopeless romantics are women; therefore I must be speaking of them in a grand majority.

Is very easy to alter an image with the words that best describe the person you are trying to portray. I’ve personally never considered a person that jumps from relationship to relationship a hopeless romantic. Quite the contrary, these type of persons are the ones I consider needy, the same one’s that need someone to validate their existence.

You think of a hopeless romantic and you think of a chick flick, the movies that always have a character that best fits the profile. It personally reminds me of a friend that actually reads my blog, one that fell in love across the world because she was tired of dealing with the unmannered, douche bags we have in the United States.  This friend fell in love in Europe out of all places in the world. She did the traveling thing every few weeks. Unfortunately her love story was cut short, it was one of those loves that couldn’t be. Although my intention is not to get into her story, it’s the actions that bring up the comparison.

The term hopeless romantic has numerous definitions, to be in love with being in love all the way to believing in fairy tales.  Love can strike at any given time (so they say) and for my good friend it just happened to be across the world. When I listen to her describe the emotions she feels by simply reminiscing on the memories, I can picture what a hopeless romantic might really be.

On the contrary of other people I see changing relationships every few months. “I’m in love with him, he’s the best.” That only last a few months while there’s a change and it’s a different person they’re talking about. “I’ve searched for you my entire life, thank God you finally came.” Yes, I personally think those are the people who are a little confused.

How can you claim to love someone you hardly know anything about? How can you say you love someone when you haven’t seen him or her at his or her worse? Yet again as long as some people get everything they’re looking for, it might not matter. Superficial love is the new hopeless romantic.  Well that can be argue in most cases, love seems to have lost valued the past couple of decades. It has become extremely easy to say, “ I love you.” Once upon a time the desire to be in love was at its peak, today all you need is a month or two in order to say you’ve found your prince charming.

If that doesn’t cut it, you now have a new generation of women who claim to be hopeless romantics but are in relationships with douche bags or machistas. Indeed this group of woman is hopeless, but not romantic in case you’re wondering. We can see that this group is hopelessly stupid. Every woman does have a prince charming, one that will treat her right, but is not one that you can fabricate. To be a hopeless romantic might mean many things nowadays, it should also include being a little smarter.

We all want to find that person that completes us or compliments our lives. We want that person that makes us feel like our search for a soul mate has ended. With that said, this doesn’t mean we have to fall in love with every person that comes in to our present. Who made that rule up? Shouldn’t a man earn your love before you hand it out like a lollipop? Well at least that’s my opinion and everyone is entitles to do and act as they please. In other words, “Follow your heart.” If you like to be disappointed often, than perhaps you’re taking all the right steps.

This is what I postulate; we’ll have a little hopeless romantic in us. Others simply believe that they know what love is when in fact they have no idea.  Most people that claim to be hopeless romantics on a daily basis are seeking attention. They’re extremely repugnant.  Despite all that, I can respect the courage it takes to pretend they know and understand what they preach to the world. If you guys open your eyes you will start to notice these people who declare their one-month love to the universe.

Nice to see all you guys once again!!! Feel free to share this blog on your favorite social media site.

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Do Gentleman still exist?

Do Gentleman still Exist?

It wasn’t long ago that I ran into a Facebook post that asked if there were any gentleman left. Well friends, lady friends more than anything, yes they do!

Before I start running my fingers on this key board, let’s define what a gentleman is. The definition and meaning of the term has changed throughout the past centuries. What a gentleman means today, is not what people believed over 100 years ago. Really quick, a long time ago, a very long time ago, a gentleman was a man of wealth and power. Which implies that in order to be a gentleman you needed to be wealthy or have some sort of wealth. To a certain extend, a gentleman was a man who had income that derived from property, legacy or some other source according to John Selden author of Titles of Honour (1614.)
With that out of the way, let’s get to present time where the term has completely taken a turn for the better good we can say. In order to be a gentleman you no longer need to be wealthy. To be a gentleman in present time, signifies treating others and specially woman in a respectful manner.
We can say this is something you should’ve learned from your mother when you were just a young lad. Are there any gentleman left nowadays? The answer is “Yes,” the question certain woman should be asking is, “where am I looking for my gentleman?” Every married woman or those in relationships should be with their perfect gentleman.

The problem today is that woman think they’re going to go into a club and find a gentleman, (Not saying there might not be one or two, but realistically it’s difficult to find one in such places.) Have you ever noticed women always look for a gentleman once they’ve had several bad experiences? well a lot of them do, at least in my opinion. I’ve personally noticed a lot of women talk about the topic, I’ve always wondered why it takes them so long to realized they’ve been dating douche bags who really don’t appreciate them. Yet it’s a matter of choice, many woman decide to stay in relationships with guys who are nowhere near being a gentleman.
What ever happen to the men who would open a car door, write you a poem, letter, pulled your chair when you were about to have dinner? Answer: They’re right there, most of the time they are referred to as the “nice guys.” Have you ever heard this before?
Woman: “He is just to nice, I need him to be little tough.”
Me: “What exactly do you want him to do? treat you like $%^&?”
I have a friend named John David who is happily married, the guy has two kids and trust me when I say my friend Gloria is a lucky woman. This gentleman might not be perfect because who’s perfect? The truth is, the guy is a true gentleman (1920’s type) and the people who know him can agree with that statement. Like I said before, every woman in a relationship should refer to her partner as her gentleman. The reason you’re with any men, is because he should compliment you an not justify your existence, as my best friends would say. I know too many great woman, it’s actually sad to see how they decide to stick to men who don’t show them the respect they deserve. Being a gentleman is not a title any man can give himself, is one of those things where actions speak louder than words.

Not gentleman like conduct:
Insults you and calls you words I won’t say.
Tells you he can do better than you.
Talks bad about your friends for no apparent reason.
Brings up your past when he wasn’t even part of your life at the time.
Can’t let go of the past.
Does more harm than good.

Gentleman Conduct:
Observes and compliments the little things about you.
Opens the door when you get in the car.
Only pays attention to you when your together.
Knows what to tell you when you feel down.
Looks beyond your past.
Understands and walks away peacefully when you decide to break things off (because he is too nice for you.)

The list goes on an on for days, if you know what I mean. Gentleman still exist, it’s all a matter of choice. They say that nice guys never get the girl, I beg to differ. Nice guys always end up with the family an not divorced. Even though being the nice guys can have certain consequences like I mentioned in my previous blog.

Can assholes (excuse my language) become gentleman? Yes, but it’s not as easy as it might sound. If you’re a guy and you are a douche, you need to work twice as hard to prove you are worthy of such term. Ladies, let’s quit complaining and perhaps give the nice guys a shot for once. In the end if you decide to go with the bad boy, you will also have to pay the consequences of your choice. Quit asking where the gentleman are, haven’t you noticed every time you ask where the gentleman are, an asshole is the first one to respond.
Asshole response: “Woman don’t want gentleman, they want a douche bag bla ba bla.”
Nevertheless I thought this was a very interesting topic to come across, therefore I decided to dedicate this to all my female friends. In order to land a good guy, you need to value yourself just a little bit more. Most of you ladies are great woman, all you need to do is show it. Hint, I said most of you, not all of you make the cut unfortunately. Just because you’re a hard worker, doesn’t mean you are a good woman, just to make that clear.
On that note, see you next week. Please feel free to share this blog with your friends, simply click on your social media site of preference.

I want a relationship

Relationships can be defined as reaching the promise land for many woman, the commitment they’ve searched and looked for. Yet sometimes because there’s a title between two people, doesn’t signify you’ve found success. So you want a relationship huh?

“Oh, why can’t I find the person of my dreams? are all men players? why are they all the same?” Without a doubt some of the most popular lines you will hear a single woman say often. Yes, the same woman you see partying and getting wasted every Friday, Saturday and Sunday even Thursdays when the mood is right.

“I need a man who will value me and spoil me and treat me like a queen because that’s what I’ am and if you’re not that man, I don’t care to meet you.” I will tell you exactly what I heard, “Let me see your car, wallet, bank statements and by the way what do you do for a living?” Woman want to be loved, don’t we all?

At one point in our life, we all look for that partner, that relationship that will fill that empty space someone left vacant. Well actually we start to look for it after we enjoy our single life to the point we get sick of it. Than you have those people who can’t be out of a relationship. Some of you that are currently single are probably saying, “Yea right buddy! I’m going to be single until I’m 40.” If you’re actually in your teenage years or in your early 20’s, that might be the mentality you have at the moment. My suggestion would be to speak to someone single in their 30’s or 40’s  and ask if they feel the same way. The answer will most likely be “HECK NO.”

I will restrain myself from using the word love because like I’ve told you before, love doesn’t grow on trees, it takes time to develop those kind of feelings. Relationships on the other hand come and go and certain people use them like underwear, always changing them. How do you choose your partner? Are you using online dating? you cheeky little devil, you are aren’t you? Don’t lie, I won’t tell anyone I promise. Wait, you don’t believe in that, you met all your previous boyfriends while you were partying and you fell in love. That’s probably reason why you’re here once again looking for a new one.

Where do I find that person?

I will tell you where you shouldn’t find them if that’s more helpful, let’s begin:

The Club

Strip Club

Las Vegas                                   

MySpace

Facebook 

Jail

(Off the top my of my head, add yours here ——–>)

There’s a few exceptions to the places I mentioned above, if you meet a person on Facebook or Myspace or Instagram for example, you need some mutual friends in between. It will be the safe thing to do and you can actually do some investigative searching on the person you’re interested in. With that said, you would be doing online dating, if that’s okay with you, go for it. Las Vegas would be risky business both ways, sin city is a gamble, therefore roll the dice and see if you get lucky, just don’t roll snake eyes.

Why are you picking on women?

I’m not, just pay close attention and see what gender is constantly asking for a partner. Men want partners as well, they simply like showing that tough side, that “I don’t need anyone,” (Macho voice.) Depending on the age of a male, of course you think about sharing your experiences with someone. Boys in their teens or early 20‘s are only thinking about one thing, SEX. I would be really careful if I was a woman, around one in ten men that age probably think different. It takes a lot to catch young men,the issue is that it can’t just be anyone, it has to be a special one. I use to think that only men liked to have their options open when it came to dating, it so happens that nowadays women have adopted the believe. They get so caught up on the thought that they let the good one’s get away.

This is just not about men or women, it goes for both genders equally. You can’t claim to want a partner in life and show the world another face. Yes, compatibility and physical attraction is crucial, it’s the first thing we notice in another person. Thus far, looks have never really guaranteed you success in a relationship. The goal is to always find the balance in between.

Where are you going with this?

If you want a relationship that will be worth the time spent, I would suggest you check your priorities. Stop stating what you want with words and start showing it with action. Dating and relationships are two very different things, not everyone you date will make it to your relationship category. Not that is a waste of your time, it’s truly an experience to keep learning what you really want while you’re still single. Relationships, they’re not easy or simple, they’re tough rugged and draining but when you find that person, you’ll become content with you search journey. This is not an indication to stand static and wait for your dream person, you’ll meet him/her as you keep walking forward when you least expect it.

Here’s  a good one

When you date someone, you’re actually showing interest, you’re getting to know a person and contemplating the idea of a relationship. It doesn’t mean it will happen but the possibility will be there. Just don’t expect love out of dating a person, that’s one of the biggest mistakes people tend to make, when it’s time to let go, simply walk away. This is the perfect time to cut your losses short and take whatever you can from the experience. Relationships, you won’t find them in the club you will find them with time. You have to give time some time to do what it does best. Now that we got that out of the way, stop with the complaining already.

Thank you for reading, feel free to share on your social media site of preference down below and follow me on Twitter: @mlinares10