Will you be my Valentine?

To many, today you remember scars of love, new fires and passion that you’ve never felt before. The pinnacle of what you think love means.

It’s finally here (again) and perhaps you’ve made plans for a romantic dinner or a vacation with your love one. You might be part of those 1.6 billion dollars that are spent on this 14^th of February. The day of love for all the couples out there and a day of friendship for the rest of us who are not in committed relationships (LONERS).  Yet this day isn’t all smiles for many, a lot of you have shed more than one tear, have said goodbye to people who make you unhappy.  I’m sure a lot of men will get drunk out of their minds reminiscing on an old love and mistakes they’ve made, because on this day they’re alone. For more then 24 hours you will be reminded and surrounded by flowers, chocolate and wine. People kissing, hugging and buying cards all over the country.

Why is it that on Valentines most of our friends feel like they will never find love?  For some reason we’ve let media dictate the way we feel and when to feel it. Love doesn’t only exist or should be recognize on February the 14^th.  On the contrary it should only be the highlight of what Love means to you.  If you’re alone without a soul mate, it doesn’t mean you’ve failed.  Don’t kick yourself in the head because you don’t have a partner to share this commercialized day with.

Valentines has become the day when most people like to show off the love they actually don’t have. “My love and I are so happy together,” reads the post on every social media site they belong too. “I’m so happy and thankful for my babe he/she is the love of my life.”  They say that gentlemen no longer exist and that chivalry is dead, you know what’s really dying? LOVE. The way we see it, the way we perceive it and the amount of respect we give love has diminished at the speed of light.

We’ve stopped respecting love and decided to throw the words out there like they are that unimportant, “I love you, I love you, and I love you.”  Where have you left your dignity fellow men?  Men will throw those words out like dollar bills in a strip club in order to get what they want. Quite frankly dinner and wine will get many men lucky this valentine. That’s how a lot of you define love nowadays.

Yea, those days that many of our parents lived are no longer in existence. A lot of people confuse sex and love. They fall in love with sex and believe they’re in love when it actually doesn’t work that way. The numbers of poems and love quotes on this day is very high and ridiculous. But my women want to hear it, they want it whispered in their ear on this specific day in order to feel wanted and acknowledged.  You can bet your bottom dollar people will also break up tomorrow; it’s just the way this day goes.

Before you assume or jump the gun, I do believe in love. I believe you should dine and wine the ish out of your lady. I don’t believe it should be on this exact day, it should be every day of the year (or once a week).  You shouldn’t have to wait till the calendar strikes 14^th of February in order to tell that special someone how you truly feel. Or to remind someone what they mean to you. Now let’s not confuse casual dating and real love, doesn’t hurt to be nice but you must be able to tell the difference.  Are we asshoes?  No we’re not, at least I like to believe that men can still be saved, that we can rescue love and truly show women that somewhere inside there’s a wall blocking that stream of love that is waiting to flow like a wild river. A romantic side of us that not many women get to see but that is hidden inside of us.  We live and learn in order to move and take giants steps in life.  On this valentine day perhaps you should be grateful to be alive and able to take another breath of air. Valentines day has never define what your love life is or will be, is just another day in the calendar.  You my friend don’t need a commercialized day in order to acknowledge love.  If you’re no longer in a relationship, I’m sure you’ve heard that everything in this life happens for a reason.  Love yourself and love the people most important to you.

Take care and don’t forget:

” Mama said: You can’t hurry love,  no you’ll just have to wait, she said  love don’t come easy, it’s a game of give and take…….remixxxxxxxxxx  I’m….I’m so in love with you!! whatever you want to do…is alright with me! Because you make me feel so brand neeeeeew.”

The breakup

Can you remember your biggest breakup? The one that hit you deep down inside? The one you dwelled over for months or years? Yes, the one that changed your life whether it was for the greater good or not. Breakups, we’ll hate them but sometimes we can’t control them. Breakup-The act of ending something, dissolution, termination or conclusion, the end of a relationship. An act that we can’t control unless you’re the initiator of the break up.

Breakups can be experienced in two different ways, the person who’s leaving versus the person who is being left. Before we move forward, we need to understand that sometimes people are forced into moving on because is the best choice for them. For example, you caught your boyfriend or girlfriend cheating or committing foul play, that’s a reason to put on your thinking cap on and move along. At this instance, the experience reverses, the person leaving, is forced into a choice they probably never really consider making. A really tough decision we can’t all make,that’s probably the reason why you see a lot of women put up with guys even after catching them in the act. You can see them trying to mend broken relationships, nevertheless, there’s certain things that can’t be taped back together.

Personally, I use to believe that the older you were, the more mature you became, I assumed it was a rule in life that age equaled to be mature, boy was I wrong. Maybe 50 years ago when chivalry was still alive you could make that argument. Today I sit and listen to my grandmother and mother speak about their young days and love. A man would come to a woman’s window to simply look and stare at the person they loved. A tale where hearts were broken because parents had the last word on who you were allowed to be with and who you weren’t allow to see. In order to get married you needed the blessing of a father and mother. Today chivalry is an endangered species, you can’t find it anywhere. It takes me back to my visit to Maryland many years ago where I had the privilege to observe an America Bald Eagle. An eagle so endangered, you’re bless if you ever have the opportunity to observe it in it’s natural habitat. Chivalry isn’t dead, it’s simply an endanger species amongst human beings because we don’t really care for it anymore. (We can talk about chivalry some other time.)

The one being left

Today, is hard to find people who can truly say a breakup was a mutual agreement between two people. A breakup is more like soap opera, one of the two parties has decided to leave a person for someone or something else. Many people call this confusion but don’t be fooled my friends, I’ve met to many broken hearts that say otherwise. I recall my breakup, the pinch inside your heart when you believe you were dead but somehow still walking. The anxiety attacks, lack of air to your lungs, the lack of sleep at night. Yes, you don’t eat, you think about all the things that you probably did wrong, whether they’re known or unknown. You’re in a search to find the reason of where and why things fell apart. Don’t worry, if you’re a human being you probably committed countless mistakes, that my friend’s is part of life. You will probably spend 100 years searching and you will never find out.

The person being left will always have a much harder time understanding why things happen the way they do. It doesn’t mean you’re wrong, it simply means that it wasn’t for you, when you’re able to understand that, you will be able to understand why things happen. We’re creatures of habit, we get attached to people, things and sometimes it’s hard letting go. Take my baby niece for example, she’s attached to her blanket, she won’t let it go even though it’s old and ready to go out to the garbage can. Sometimes breakups can be seen that way. We know it’s over but we can’t let it go, somehow it becomes an addiction we seek, we understand it’s not good for our heart but yet we try to meet out needs. There’s some psychological term for this, one of my buddies is a PHD student, whenever I need someone to give me these terms, I call her up. This friend knows her material and I’m certain a successful career in marriage and relationship counseling awaits her.

If there was one thing I did do, it was turn to my old chivalry ways, I wrote letters, sent countless cards, delivered flowers. Before it was over, I believed that I had to do everything in my power to go out with a bang. I had to play all the cards in my deck to walk away peacefully and that is exactly what I did. The funny thing was that my ex girlfriend didn’t know I already knew more than she imagined. But I never brought it up, I never mentioned I knew her real reasons. I wanted to keep it civil and I didn’t want to lose my good image. I simply promised to never bad mouth the woman, not my style, why start today? I knew her every move because word of mouth travels to fast. “Where did I go wrong? what did I do? maybe this or that?” I told myself for months after the breakup. It didn’t really mattered, it was an eye opener, “Sometimes breakups are not meant for make ups, they’re more like a wake up.”

It was time for me to wake up and realized that I had a lot of things to accomplish in my life. Am I the only one who’s ever felt that? No, we all go through it, some of us simply don’t want to accept it. My dreams and goals had derailed from their proper tracks. It wasn’t easy but somehow I found my fire again. I started listening to the people around me and realized how I was simply one more case in a world filled with heartbreaks. One of my friends was getting divorced, make that two or three friends. Another close friends found out he dated a married woman for almost three years. This is the life and time we live in. It didn’t make me feel any better that my friends were going through worse moments than myself. On the contrary, the breakup helped me climb up my man ladder. That reality check where you tell yourself to grow up, keep learning and move along the road.

If you missed my blog last week, I talked about Karma, it was a hit let me tell you, check it out if you have minute or two. That’s what usually follows after someone tears your heart out, or perhaps that’s what you’ve earned after your own number of mistakes. Don’t worry, I’m okay, my heart is good and strong beating like a drum in a drum circle. Filled with love and joy not anger and resent because as cliche as it might sound, the line between love and hate is very thin. People, woman to be more upfront usually ask me, “Where’s the guy who writes all the sweet stuff?” Well, he’s there, but hearts aren’t simply handed out, you earn them. I once said that love is a big tree, you plant the seed, you take care of it, you nourish it and enjoy it once it’s big and strong. I don’t believe you plant a seed and get a tree the next morning.

Without certain breakups, some of us wouldn’t be doing the things we’re doing today. I wouldn’t be writing, working out as much as I do, improving myself as a man. “They said the best way to get over a broken heart was to fall in love again, so I fell in love with myself, the best relationship in my life.” If you’ve been broken hearted, don’t doubt that love will come looking for you again. Just don’t expect it because it doesn’t work that way. Not every experience you have with another man or woman means it will end up in love. Instead keep learning, keep improving yourself in order to be ready when it finds you again.

BS Break up lines

1. It’s not you, it’s me
2. I need to find myself again
3. Hope we can stay friends
4. I’m confused
5. Need to find my self worth
6. You were never there! (Where was I than?)
7. I’m always going to love you
8. Maybe we need some time off
9. It’s not going to happen
10. (add yours)

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Are you mature?

Are you mature?

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Are you mature when it comes to relationships and dating?

For too long we’ve been taught that maturity comes with age and the number of experiences we go through in life. Dolefully, this my friend isn’t true, age doesn’t define maturity despite the fact that many people believe it does. If you’re asking, “please define mature sir?” Well, since you brought it up, the definition that most fits my point is; “Having reached full natural growth or development.” That development can be mental, we all lack maturity in some areas of our lives. There’s no such thing as a perfect human being. With all this said, let’s cut it down just a little more. We’ll know teenagers are immature in most cases, we also know that most women act or reach maturity faster than men.

When it comes to relationships and dating, how do you define mature? We’ve all, or most of us have experienced some type of break, a point in a relationship, or an emerging relationship (Dating) where there’s an end to things. Do you remember the old high school days where your friends or perhaps yourself would end a relationship? Yes, the day when your named got trashed or you defamed someone for the rest of their high school days. You were a teenager, you had an excuse to be dumb, naive and pretty much immature. The older you got, the more you claimed to have grown up, to have changed, to have learned from those young days.

Did you really?

If you paid attention, most people didn’t change, they continued cheating, lying, deceiving the people around them while claiming to be “mature.” In a recent conversation with a close friend, we exchanged stories about past relationship and people we’ve dated. This girlfriend had dated a man, or a boy to be more accurate, that had ended their relationship through a text message. I shook my head, but not in disbelieve. This boy had decided to put an end to a long relationship via text message and email. When my friend confronted this boy, the ex simply couldn’t do it face to face. He was to immature to say things weren’t working out, or to explain they’ve grown apart. Besides being immature, I told my friend that this person was really a coward, why? because as adults, either man or woman, the right thing would be to confront such a problem face to face, not via text or email. Don’t get it wrong, the word coward or immature has no gender, they come in all shapes and sizes. Beautiful, ugly, handsome or gorgeous, appearances can be deceiving.

Nonetheless, our society has taken things to the next level, we don’t call people, we text them because it’s simply easier to deal with things that way. Despite all that, a breakup should never be handled via text or email. It’s not the adult thing to do, I’m sure our parents thought us that lesson when we were kids. At least some of our fathers explained the “do’s and don’t” of marriage or relationships. This is where you stop, take a deep breath and realize that the number of adults who act their age is less than the number acting like children.

Back to my friend

She proceeded to explain that her ex was mature, that he was different until it came to that breakup. Hmm, seems to me like that act of a child, when I was a kid, I would write notes asking girls if they liked me or not, (circle yes or no.) It was hard to explain to my friend that being older doesn’t necessarily mean you have learned what relationships are all about. I’ll tell you the story of a woman I dated, she was attracting, beautiful, hard worker, yet when things didn’t work out, she decided to send me a text. I decided to call and actually try to fix things, she wasn’t able to pick up, instead she text me saying “I can’t do this.” Whatever that meant was enough reason for her to end things. I believe in respecting people’s decisions, you have to accept things and part ways on certain occasions. If you believe that immature people can be changed by your actions, let me tell you that you’re on the wrong path.

I’ll ask you this, if you have a friend that dates a bad person, one of those man or woman who have bad all over them, are they mature? Staying in a relationship or trying to fix something broken is another form of being immature. Yet again, human beings are creatures of habit. We get use to things and people to the point that it becomes really difficult to let them go and move on. Theres occasions when things can be salvaged but that’s hardly the case wouldn’t you agree?

I will reiterate that my blog is not about putting anyone on out there, okay, I’m lying, I enjoy doing this. Karma, isn’t it a bitch? Don’t worry, we can talk about that next week with more details. Today we can remain focus on dating and being in relationship with “mature” adults.

Men

In case you’re wondering, yes, this goes out to some of the the guys I know, we tend to disagree on many things. I stopped believing in playing relationships and dating games. Like many of the women that I know, I’m very upfront, my memory is pretty awesome and I tend not to forget things that easily, it’s those Omega 369 I tell you. They say they’re good for the brain, perhaps that’s why my memory remains in tact.

If a man or woman hasn’t cherished you after all the things you’ve done in a relationship, don’t expect them to change all of a sudden. Sometimes it takes hard lessons in life for us to really value the important things in front of us. To be mature is to have the mental capacity to handle things like real adults. To hold your ground and refrained from using derogatory language. It’s the ability to be able to confront things head on and walk away when things aren’t working with your gentleman or lady card in hand. I constantly run in to my ex girlfriend and even though I would have a valid point to not talk to her, I rather say “hello,” give her a kiss on the cheek and walk away. When it came down to it, I didn’t lose as much as she did, (Gentleman card still in my hand.)

We’re not perfect, men nor women can declare perfection in a world with flaws. It’s time to start acting our age, the party days come to an end eventually. Today is simply a good day to let some of the people around you know, “I see your immaturity.” For those that think that maturity is a fancy car, job or wearing heels, you have it twisted. Maturity is owning up to your actions and feelings face to face, not in a cowardly text or email. I’m not making this up, this is some real stuff many of you might agree with. If you’re making funny faces at the screen, perhaps you fit into this category of immature people. The older you get, the more embarrassed you should be to act in such a manner.

Thank you for reading, I’m glad to let you know that our blog has reached more than 20 countries around the world because you my friends have shared this. Therefore I say thank you! Keep clicking on your social media site of preference and drop me a comment! Follow me in Twitter: @mlinares10

I’m not that type

My women are smart no doubt

“Men are liars, deceiving, manipulative, players, horn dogs and practically all of them are same.” If you’re a man like myself, you’ve heard this from a girlfriend once or twice in your life time. I’m not going to argue the fact that a high number of men probably fit right into this category. When men are put on this position, a defense mechanism switch turns on, imagine Optimus Prime transforming from truck to giant robot in a matter of seconds. The immediate response to such an attack usually is, “I’m different,” In some situations this might be true but in most cases it’s probably not. “They all say that, every men says he’s different but they are all the same,” said the angry woman.

I’m different

The response has become so cliche that woman won’t buy it, you need action behind it. It takes several unmanly acts to prove that you’re indeed on a different class and that you’re not indeed a douche bags like 90 percent of other men. You might be thinking you know where this is heading but let me stop you right there. Let’s talk a little about the other side of the coin. If “I’m different,” is one of the most popular lines used by men, than what would be the most commonly used line by women? wait for it, wait for it, “I’m not that type of girl,” ding, ding, ding.

You’re not that type of girl, therefore what type of girl are you? Are you the type that puts herself in awkward situations in which you have to clarify that you’re not that type of girl? Well, how did you end up in the situation you’ve found yourself in? Men might be con artist, deceiving and many other things but women are no saints in this game, it most certainly takes two to tango. This is indeed not an attack on women, I love women, anyone who knows me might tell you I’m infatuated with women, I have more sisters than you have aunt’s and uncles, (True story.) This term has been on my mind for quite sometime now. The line is a woman’s self defense mechanism to shield an image. I’ve never met a woman that want’s to have a terrible public image, we live in a world where we judge others by appearance, nevertheless by actions. Most women are so concern about what other women say about them, that it sometimes leads to depression. In our modern era that would be a negative or subliminal messages on Facebook or Twitter.

Girl 1: “Girl, did you see what she posted on Facebook/Twitter? I know she was talking about us!”

Girl 2: “Mmm I’m about to go post what she did last week, shoot.”

What does it mean?

I’ve heard it from a number of guys, what does it mean? “I’m not that type of girl,” usually translates to, “I’m not a whore, I don’t want you to think I’m a lady of the evening.” The thing is that in the moment no one is making such claims or accusations. Men could be dogs but they won’t dare ask that question. Imagine yourself being intimate with a guy or being a guy and asking, “Wait a second, are you that type of girl?” It really doesn’t happen that way. Now, your actions might speak differently of you, if this is a thing you practice often, perhaps you should ask yourself if you’re that type of girl. What do I mean? If you committed the same maneuver with guys that might know each other than you’re probably the type of girl you’re trying not to be. Guys talk, don’t be fooled, the only way most guys won’t talk about it, is when things are leading in a serious direction or they’re simply keeping you a secret. Up to this point I keep asking myself, who made that up? who started that line, it must of been a woman.

Let’s go back

Why do women say this? Usually it’s for guys who go for the kill on the first date, it’s a response that say’s “I don’t do this with everyone,” when a woman finds herself attracted or interested to a man, “EASY” is the last thing she want’s to be seen as. In order to try to get this as correct as possible, I practically interviewed more than a handful of woman. They all answered differently but agreed that I had a valid point when I presented my argument. The last thing I need, is for my readers to think I’m making things up, I do this for you guys. After questioning some of these woman like they’ve committed a murder, one answer stood out the most. “I’ve never had to say that to any men.” Okay, I thought to myself, “She’s never been in that situation, what do I ask her now? and then it hit me.”

This girl is a realist, she knows what she’s doing and she’s a woman about it, she has no reason to front or make up stories, men respect that 100 percent. I called one of my most dependable female sources and discussed the topic, her answers always enlighten my brain. “I don’t usually do this but you’re special to me,” she added as a line women throw out there to cover their tracks. The choices we make belong to each one of us and no one else, whether they’re right or wrong, they belong to us. “I’m not that type of girl,” has become as cliche as “I’m different, the exception and difference to all men.” Ladies, take a minute and think back, have you ever said that to a guy? was it because he was trying to hit a home run like Albert Pujols? If you did, how far in did you throw the famous line in? Think about it.

Have you ever acknowledged that by saying “I’m not that type of girl,” you’re only judging yourself and inviting the other person to judge you as well? When perhaps the thought of you being any type has not even crossed the mind. It’s time women own up to their actions and decisions like adults. Don’t be so quick to pull the trigger and start being a women about your choices. If you made the decision, own it and don’t let your conscious play guilt tricks on you.

Thank you guys for reading and sharing, please click on your social media icon of preference down below, it’s that simple. All it takes is a click to share this with your friends, thank you for following and reading, the fact you guys keep coming back inspires me to keep writing and it only gets better. Follow me Twitter: @mlinares10

The calling game

 

The calling Game 

You’re probably wondering what day of the week it is, if you guessed Thursday, you’re correct. Why are you reading this blog on a Thursday you might ask? Besides me being on a plane on my way to Miami, well let’s just say that we need this blog to get a little more busy, my writing needs all the polishing it can obtain. What better way than to keep all of you entertained. In a recent conversation with one of my sisters, an interesting topic came about. How often should you call your boyfriend or girlfriend? Is it mandatory to call or text everyday when you first date someone? Do you have to talk everyday? Well to begin, let me state that my sister is an unusual girl. She believes that she doesn’t have to talk to anyone on a daily basis, she calls or text when she feels like it.

Say what?

It is not a rule, and no one has ever stated that is mandatory to call or text someone you have begun to date. I’m not talking about couples with years under their belt, or married couples who know each others moves by memory. My sister is referring to communication when you first date a person. I agree, it’s not an obligation, you don’t have to talk to a person everyday, heck, I would probably get bored, specially when you’ve done it in the past. “Oh, you’re favorite color is pink? How original.” 

 Two Stages 

Let’s break this down, there’s two different stages we need to learn how to distinguish. The first stage is communication when you’re dating or talking to someone. At this stage, you’re definitely not forced to talk to a person everyday. Day’s might pass before you hear from a person, with all right indeed. 

It is at this level where a foundation for a relationship is created. If you’re trying to learn about the person you have found interest in, this is where you play the “question game, 21 questions,” or whatever the kids call those non stop question asking games. Text messages are not a mandatory rule or a law imposed on the dating scene. Nevertheless, the more you call and text, the more interest you show the other person. The previous sentence does not give you the right to blow up any ones phone by the way. Some people might take this out of context and start sending non stop messages. It’s only common sense that the other person will either text  or call you back to confirm interest.

The second stage is during new relationships, this is where my crazy sister comes in. She doesn’t think that talking to a person everyday is necessary, like a friend told her, “you just haven’t been in love yet.” In my personal experience, those beginning stages are the one’s where you can’t wait to hear from that person, where you simply take the time to say “goodnight, hope you have a good day!” Let’s not talk about what happens years in, “Yea yea, good night, Good night! I’m trying to go to sleep here, gees!” (Joke).I’ve never met someone who thought it was the opposite, until I realized I lived with a person who thinks that way. “So what if the guy sends you a text and you’re on one of your off days? Well I’ll see how I feel and then I’ll think about replying.” My response was immediately, “Good luck finding a husband.” Whether it’s on the dating or early relationship stage, when someone sends you a text, or calls you, common courtesy would be to reply or call back. One of my personal pet peeves is when I call or text a woman and there’s no reply, but the next day there’s a message like nothing occurred, like if I never called or text. “Really? you didn’t see my call or text?” (I would usually say in mind). I’ve never quite understood why certain people think that’s normal. “I don’t think I have to give you an explanation why I went missing,” a girl once told me, ouch, forgive me for caring doll. 

These circumstances might not apply for all married couples, when it comes to being married, is like learning a playbook. You know all the moves and you know how they will be executed. If things don’t play out as planned, mercy on your soul my friend. Married couples (for most part) know schedules like the back of their hands. If you ever want to see something comical, ask your married friend to stay an hour or two without making a call. One of my best friends has this dilemma, he comes out every once in a while, but he’s like cinderella, around midnight is time to go home. He usually panics and starts making his way home before the evil witch get’s mad. He begins calling and texting that he’s on his way home like a good boy.

Where were we?

I have to admit that I strongly disagree with my sister, I think she has it all wrong. Maybe this is because she is yet to fall in love according to her friend. I believe communication is key to any successful relationship. You don’t have a full on conversation with a person on a daily basis, people do work and have other things going on. Yet, even with all these things, you can’t blow someone off for trying to say “hello, how are you?” If you like to blow people off because you feel that today you wan’t alone time, and today is not the day to be approached by anyone. What happens when they give you a taste of your own medicine? I like to play it ‘old testament,’ for those of you who don’t follow, “An eye for an eye and tooth for a tooth.” Therefore in case you weren’t aware, now you’ve learned something new about me. You’ve also learned something about my sister, if you’re trying to talk to her, good luck boys, say 100 hail mary’s and maybe you’ll be the lucky guy to change the way she thinks.

Thank you for being loyal followers to this blog, this is “Everyday life with Mo.” Please drop me a comment and feel free to repost or share this blog, your support is what keeps this going. Don’t be afraid to throw in your two cents, I might be the wrong one, and my sister my be correct with her point of view. Feel free to check out previous blogs as well.

Follow me on Twitter: @mlinares10

The calling game

 

The calling Game 

You’re probably wondering what day of the week it is, if you guessed Thursday, you’re correct. Why are you reading this blog on a Thursday you might ask? Besides me being on a plane on my way to Miami, well let’s just say that we need this blog to get a little more busy, my writing needs all the polishing it can obtain. What better way than to keep all of you entertained. In a recent conversation with one of my sisters, an interesting topic came about. How often should you call your boyfriend or girlfriend? Is it mandatory to call or text everyday when you first date someone? Do you have to talk everyday? Well to begin, let me state that my sister is an unusual girl. She believes that she doesn’t have to talk to anyone on a daily basis, she calls or text when she feels like it.

Say what?

It is not a rule, and no one has ever stated that is mandatory to call or text someone you have begun to date. I’m not talking about couples with years under their belt, or married couples who know each others moves by memory. My sister is referring to communication when you first date a person. I agree, it’s not an obligation, you don’t have to talk to a person everyday, heck, I would probably get bored, specially when you’ve done it in the past. “Oh, you’re favorite color is pink? How original.” 

 Two Stages 

Let’s break this down, there’s two different stages we need to learn how to distinguish. The first stage is communication when you’re dating or talking to someone. At this stage, you’re definitely not forced to talk to a person everyday. Day’s might pass before you hear from a person, with all right indeed. 

It is at this level where a foundation for a relationship is created. If you’re trying to learn about the person you have found interest in, this is where you play the “question game, 21 questions,” or whatever the kids call those non stop question asking games. Text messages are not a mandatory rule or a law imposed on the dating scene. Nevertheless, the more you call and text, the more interest you show the other person. The previous sentence does not give you the right to blow up any ones phone by the way. Some people might take this out of context and start sending non stop messages. It’s only common sense that the other person will either text  or call you back to confirm interest.

The second stage is during new relationships, this is where my crazy sister comes in. She doesn’t think that talking to a person everyday is necessary, like a friend told her, “you just haven’t been in love yet.” In my personal experience, those beginning stages are the one’s where you can’t wait to hear from that person, where you simply take the time to say “goodnight, hope you have a good day!” Let’s not talk about what happens years in, “Yea yea, good night, Good night! I’m trying to go to sleep here, gees!” (Joke).I’ve never met someone who thought it was the opposite, until I realized I lived with a person who thinks that way. “So what if the guy sends you a text and you’re on one of your off days? Well I’ll see how I feel and then I’ll think about replying.” My response was immediately, “Good luck finding a husband.” Whether it’s on the dating or early relationship stage, when someone sends you a text, or calls you, common courtesy would be to reply or call back. One of my personal pet peeves is when I call or text a woman and there’s no reply, but the next day there’s a message like nothing occurred, like if I never called or text. “Really? you didn’t see my call or text?” (I would usually say in mind). I’ve never quite understood why certain people think that’s normal. “I don’t think I have to give you an explanation why I went missing,” a girl once told me, ouch, forgive me for caring doll. 

These circumstances might not apply for all married couples, when it comes to being married, is like learning a playbook. You know all the moves and you know how they will be executed. If things don’t play out as planned, mercy on your soul my friend. Married couples (for most part) know schedules like the back of their hands. If you ever want to see something comical, ask your married friend to stay an hour or two without making a call. One of my best friends has this dilemma, he comes out every once in a while, but he’s like cinderella, around midnight is time to go home. He usually panics and starts making his way home before the evil witch get’s mad. He begins calling and texting that he’s on his way home like a good boy.

Where were we?

I have to admit that I strongly disagree with my sister, I think she has it all wrong. Maybe this is because she is yet to fall in love according to her friend. I believe communication is key to any successful relationship. You don’t have a full on conversation with a person on a daily basis, people do work and have other things going on. Yet, even with all these things, you can’t blow someone off for trying to say “hello, how are you?” If you like to blow people off because you feel that today you wan’t alone time, and today is not the day to be approached by anyone. What happens when they give you a taste of your own medicine? I like to play it ‘old testament,’ for those of you who don’t follow, “An eye for an eye and tooth for a tooth.” Therefore in case you weren’t aware, now you’ve learned something new about me. You’ve also learned something about my sister, if you’re trying to talk to her, good luck boys, say 100 hail mary’s and maybe you’ll be the lucky guy to change the way she thinks.

Thank you for being loyal followers to this blog, this is “Everyday life with Mo.” Please drop me a comment and feel free to repost or share this blog, your support is what keeps this going. Don’t be afraid to throw in your two cents, I might be the wrong one, and my sister my be correct with her point of view. Feel free to check out previous blogs as well.

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The Men Code

The Men Code

By Moises Linares

Last week we got to talk about women and their ‘Girl Code,’ and as promised, it’s time to move the chains and advance to the next topic, ‘The Men Code.’ Alright, wipe the saliva around your mouth, this isn’t the bible. Before I begin, let me clarify that the views and opinions expressed on this blog belong to me and no other man. This is not to be taken as the guide or code that all men live by, this is simply the way I see life. Yet again the name of this blog is, ‘Every Day Life With Mo.’

Like the ‘Girl Code,’ the ‘Men Code, It’s a guy’s Thing, what douche bags really think,’ I can keep going and going until Sunday’s sunset an I would probably still have have plenty to talk about. One of my close girlfriends who I’ve travelled with, recently passed along another interesting blog, I’m not going to say it’s as good as my blog, but nevertheless it was good, (Cocky I know). In that blog, the writer explained why women should date multiple men at the same time. I quite frankly don’t have a problem with that approach, as long as I don’t find out and as long as I have no serious interest in the woman following that believe. “What you don’t know, won’t hurt you,” many would think this is something men would say but it’s really not. Its simply something someone who is trying to play the field would say and both men and women play the field.

I’m going to be very clear, NOT EVERY MEN IS THE SAME, I’m not speaking for myself, I’m speaking for all the good guys I know. My friend ‘Bon Qui Qui,’ says that all men have similar traits, I strongly disagree. You can’t say the tree is rotten because you have picked up a few bad apples. Here is the truth, one of the many problems is the following, we live in a generation in which many woman would rather be lied to in order to avoid feeling culprit of a failed attempt at a mediocre relationship.

What do you mean?

Many women would rather take the three month relationship deal, than to simply date a guy and call it quits. If I’ve learned something these past few years, is that women like to feel or believe they are in some kind of commitment, even if that commitment is false. Some woman would rather live a lie and say they were in a three month relationship, than to say they’ve dated a ‘douche,’ slept with him and moved on. Unfortunately is the truth, I know this is not top secret, it’s actually the worse kept secret. A large number of guys will use this to their advantage, luckily I’ve only had a couple of girlfriends, since I have sisters, I’m usually straight forward with the woman I’ve had the privilege of meeting. Now, women are no saints, nor will I make them the victims of this scenario.

If you are wondering if men live by some certain code, let me tell you that men don’t really go around saying, “That’s guy code, I can’t do this.” On the contrary, most men won’t let a good opportunity pass them by, even if they regret it the next morning. Men can be liars, deceiving, careless, idiots, beings that think with their penis and not their head, I can strongly agree with all that. Yet I won’t dare say that all men have these traits, I would simply be misleading my female readers if that were the case. I would’ve never wrote a blog about ‘If Gentleman still Existed,’ I believe they do, but just like there’s gentleman left, there’s more assholes in this world, excuse my french. Those are the guys a lot of the girls from my generation are attracted to, the one’s that are “hot,” because to be honest and sincere, like my friend wants to put it, that’s what society has turned many of these women into, a mentality that leads to failure.

Now

I love women, they deserve respect, more importantly they deserve honesty at all times. The ‘Men Code’ doesn’t exist, but there is certain rules that men follow in order to avoid conflicts or to avoid being seen as “Thirstiest animal in the jungle.”

The Stupid Code

A man should never help another man apply sun tan oil

If you ever compliment a guy’s six pack, you better be talking about his choice of beverage

Friends don’t let friends wear a speedo

If a man’s zipper is down, that is his problem, you didn’t see anything

When questioned by a friend’s girlfriend, you need not and should not provide any information as to his whereabouts, you are even permitted to deny his very own existence

Don’t erase your friend from Facebook because you’re mad at him

(This list is endless)

Serious Code

Don’t date anyone your friend was in love with

Don’t be a snitch, whistle blower unless it’s a best friend or immediate and close relative

If you’ve known a guy for more then 24 hours, his sister is off limits unless you marry her

Just like ‘Girl Code,’ men follow certain rules that were probably made by some drunk idiot in college while playing “Beer Pong.” I would rather say that it’s the ethical thing to do. The guys who do live by these rules are pretty much careless about rules period, the only one’s most men truly follow, are the three serious one’s I mentioned. To be honest with all of you, even those rules go out the window with many of the guys. One of my female friend asked me if guys pass girls around, the answer is NO. Do guys care? Not really, unless it’s a woman you’ve dated seriously. If a woman talks to a friend, she’s violating her own codes of ethic and the only way she would be respected is if talking to the friend leads to something serious.

To all my Girls

If you talk to a guy and then move on to the friend because you want to have fun, trust me when I say, your dignity has gone out the window. The only time a guy will respect your choice to talk to a friend, is when there’s serious interest by the two persons involved. Men will probably eliminate themselves when a girl doesn’t put out, or acts too serious from the start. If you want a guy to take you serious, let them know from the start you seek something serious. Not all man are interested in playing the field, there comes a time when every guy wants to meet a nice girl. This doesn’t mean that you will settle for the first thing that comes across your way.

Example

My friend dated a girl that once told him that she likes to keep her options open, I personally can respect that. Nevertheless, it’s the worse thing you can tell any man, it’s a free pass to bring that back out when you find out he’s dating other girls. Guys do care, they don’t want friends dating someone they seriously dated. Nonetheless like I mentioned before, it does happen, many guys can respect another guy for asking in order to avoid conflicts.

These codes we constantly talk about are full of stupidities people make up and surround with basic ethical rules of life. The men that follow most of these rules are careless, meaning your emotional state doesn’t really matter. The fact that a girl is a sweetheart or the nicest woman you’ve ever met doesn’t mean much. Have you seen ‘He’s just not that into you?’ When a guy wants to make it happen, he will make it happen. That my friends is the truth. Now, I’m making men seem bad and in some cases this might be the reality. There’s good guys and bad one’s, there’s also good woman, gold diggers, and women that act like guys. This stops being a problem of girl or men codes and gender, what it really becomes is a breach in ethical codes your mother should’ve taught you. Maybe you’re easily influenced and MTV has breached your brain, matter of fact is that you can’t stop picking up apples because you’ve picked up a few rotten one’s. This goes for men and women in general. If you want me to tell you if many guys are asses, the answer is yes, I would be careful if I were a woman. The thing is that nowadays this goes both ways, women can play the same cards and it’s sad that in our country, society has changed our mentality to make this seem like it’s okay. I hold my ground when I say that not all men are the same, that I know for a fact. Nor am I the perfect man or the perfect gentleman, what I do know is that I have a mother that taught me how to own up to my mistakes and admit when I’m wrong, see you guys next week.

If you like my Blog, please subscribe, leave a comment, throw in some points or questions. I’m not expecting you to agree with the way I see things, I’m simply writing my thoughts away, I’ve become pliable to some of the things this world puts us through and love to share my two cents with the world. Please pass this blog along and share it with your friends.

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