Will you be my Valentine?

To many, today you remember scars of love, new fires and passion that you’ve never felt before. The pinnacle of what you think love means.

It’s finally here (again) and perhaps you’ve made plans for a romantic dinner or a vacation with your love one. You might be part of those 1.6 billion dollars that are spent on this 14^th of February. The day of love for all the couples out there and a day of friendship for the rest of us who are not in committed relationships (LONERS).  Yet this day isn’t all smiles for many, a lot of you have shed more than one tear, have said goodbye to people who make you unhappy.  I’m sure a lot of men will get drunk out of their minds reminiscing on an old love and mistakes they’ve made, because on this day they’re alone. For more then 24 hours you will be reminded and surrounded by flowers, chocolate and wine. People kissing, hugging and buying cards all over the country.

Why is it that on Valentines most of our friends feel like they will never find love?  For some reason we’ve let media dictate the way we feel and when to feel it. Love doesn’t only exist or should be recognize on February the 14^th.  On the contrary it should only be the highlight of what Love means to you.  If you’re alone without a soul mate, it doesn’t mean you’ve failed.  Don’t kick yourself in the head because you don’t have a partner to share this commercialized day with.

Valentines has become the day when most people like to show off the love they actually don’t have. “My love and I are so happy together,” reads the post on every social media site they belong too. “I’m so happy and thankful for my babe he/she is the love of my life.”  They say that gentlemen no longer exist and that chivalry is dead, you know what’s really dying? LOVE. The way we see it, the way we perceive it and the amount of respect we give love has diminished at the speed of light.

We’ve stopped respecting love and decided to throw the words out there like they are that unimportant, “I love you, I love you, and I love you.”  Where have you left your dignity fellow men?  Men will throw those words out like dollar bills in a strip club in order to get what they want. Quite frankly dinner and wine will get many men lucky this valentine. That’s how a lot of you define love nowadays.

Yea, those days that many of our parents lived are no longer in existence. A lot of people confuse sex and love. They fall in love with sex and believe they’re in love when it actually doesn’t work that way. The numbers of poems and love quotes on this day is very high and ridiculous. But my women want to hear it, they want it whispered in their ear on this specific day in order to feel wanted and acknowledged.  You can bet your bottom dollar people will also break up tomorrow; it’s just the way this day goes.

Before you assume or jump the gun, I do believe in love. I believe you should dine and wine the ish out of your lady. I don’t believe it should be on this exact day, it should be every day of the year (or once a week).  You shouldn’t have to wait till the calendar strikes 14^th of February in order to tell that special someone how you truly feel. Or to remind someone what they mean to you. Now let’s not confuse casual dating and real love, doesn’t hurt to be nice but you must be able to tell the difference.  Are we asshoes?  No we’re not, at least I like to believe that men can still be saved, that we can rescue love and truly show women that somewhere inside there’s a wall blocking that stream of love that is waiting to flow like a wild river. A romantic side of us that not many women get to see but that is hidden inside of us.  We live and learn in order to move and take giants steps in life.  On this valentine day perhaps you should be grateful to be alive and able to take another breath of air. Valentines day has never define what your love life is or will be, is just another day in the calendar.  You my friend don’t need a commercialized day in order to acknowledge love.  If you’re no longer in a relationship, I’m sure you’ve heard that everything in this life happens for a reason.  Love yourself and love the people most important to you.

Take care and don’t forget:

” Mama said: You can’t hurry love,  no you’ll just have to wait, she said  love don’t come easy, it’s a game of give and take…….remixxxxxxxxxx  I’m….I’m so in love with you!! whatever you want to do…is alright with me! Because you make me feel so brand neeeeeew.”

The lie women love to hear

Okay, I’m back because I’ve been gone too long that I started to miss this blog. I’ve been so caught up with life that I lost track of some of the things that matter most to me, writing being one of them. To be completely honest, I felt unmotivated for a while due to the fact that people are too lazy to even read anymore. Well my friends, I’ve found new ways to push this blog and they seem to work. I would like to talk about something that I’ve noticed trending amongst my female friends for a while. I call it, “The biggest lie woman love.”

Before I proceed, I would like to make one thing clear; I’m not talking about every woman, just a large percentage of them. I’ve categorized many of my female friends into three categories; the teen that’s in love, the wild girl in her twenties and the desperate woman approaching or in her 30’s.

It’s unfortunate to admit that relationships have lost value in recent decades. Yet women are in love with the title that states they’re in a relationship. Somewhere along the lines someone told them that once they obtained that title, all their problems and concerns would be solved.

Take it from a man when I tell you this is not true, it’s false, it’s a lie and it most definitely doesn’t mean you’re save from being disappointed. There’s a few things women love to hear even if they might not be true, “I love you.” Saying those three magical words creates this atmosphere that makes you believe you’re in a fairyland. But love doesn’t grow on trees over night; you need a foundation to even consider being in love.

Isn’t a foundation what most of these relationships are missing? I see new couples saying it within weeks, or a couple of months. I ask all my close friends and myself how can you even say you’re in love without even knowing a person. How can you be in love with someone you’ve never seen at his or her worse? I’ve never understood how people can go from relationship to relationship saying “I love you” like it’s that simple.

The truth is that women want to hear it and a large amount of men are willing to say it in order to get what they want. Men want to get in your pants and you don’t want to seem easy. Therefore a lot of women make their selves believe that if they have a title, it’s okay.

“Nothing is going to happen if we’re not in a relationship,” she said. Well, men thought of a better idea. Why not lie to them and make them believe a lie to make it that much easier. “Okay, you want a relationship? You’re now my girlfriend and within now and six months, I’m going to get rid of you.”

Some relationships are worth having right? To some women the title is more important than a solid foundation. Even when the relationship is completely garbage, they want to be able to tell the world, “That’s my man right there.”

If you’re mouth is open, I suggest you close it. This is the reality many women are oblivious too. I reiterate that this is not true in all cases, but if you pay attention, you will notice that I’m telling you the truth. This is the lie that many women like to believe and love to hear as harsh as it might sound. How do I know this? Well I’ve seen it around me a lot, I know guys that do it often. We’ve been through this before, you say all men, I reply not true. This is indeed the case when you force the issue, when you want to make someone property by force.

The teen in love is a girl learning about love, we’ll know that girl who was madly in love when she was in high school. She wrote all over her locker and binder. She had pictures of her boyfriend all over the place; it was kind of sickening at times. Despite of my opinion, it was her first love experience. A naïve girl who probably didn’t know that all things don’t last forever and in most cases has an imminent end.

This same girl got to her 20’s and decided to be young and wild, I call this girl the party animal that goes to Vegas every few weeks because she can. The last thing on her mind is a relationship. In her early 20’s all she wants to do is party without much care and pretty reckless. “Oh, he’s so cute,” says the sloppy drunk being carried out, barfing all over her dress as she stumbles outside of the club.

When her 20’s come to an end she starts to notice that everyone around her is getting married therefore she panics. She also wants to get married, wants to have a kid, starts to suffocate any man that enters her life. In her mind time is ticking, she’s getting old and the clock is running. All of this didn’t matter when she was younger and in the club scene. She wants a relationship; she wants the title, now she says she doesn’t want to play any more games because she’s not a kid anymore. Her smart friends chose relationships instead of the nightclubs.

Well, we can argue that this is true for a large amount of women out there. Each experience is different and every woman has a different story, but the one I’m telling you seems to be trending with my generation. “Use me as long as I can call you my boyfriend in order to avoid being judge by my girlfriends.” It basically tells us men, I rather be in a fake three-month relationship than in a dating stage where we’re getting to know each other. By no means does dating mean to sleep with anyone, that’s a decision you have to make yourself.

I personally don’t believe in jumping from relationship to relationship, I believe in being honest and upfront. Let the other person know what your plans and goals are from the beginning. Sometimes it might be the best thing to do, in other cases it might be the worse because living a lie might be more sufficient at the time. Am I lying? This is the lie most women love to hear.

Thank you for reading now share it on your favorite social media site.

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The hopeless romantic syndrome

If you haven’t noticed, I’ve been missing for a few weeks. Not by personal choice if you’re truly wondering. The feeling of being computer less is like walking naked in public, you can feel something is missing, (clothes in that case.) My fingers have been aching to touch a real keyboard, one that is not touch screen or on my phone. I love, love, love to stay in touch with the outer world. I couldn’t live without all of you who follow my blogs. Okay, maybe I’m taking it a step too far with all the sentimental expressions.

Have you ever asked yourself what a hopeless romantic is? Are you a hopeless romantic? You know, the type of person who is in love with being in love. Yes, I’m sure you have plenty of those friends. Nowadays there’s no way to hide from them, they pollute your social news feed every day. Well, at least they believe they’re hopeless romantics.

Many people argue that being a hopeless romantic is the equivalent of believing in chivalry. For some is a notion that no longer exist, for others is simply something you truly have to search hard and long for. Let’s be real here, the hopeless romantics these days have turned out to be a bunch of phonies. They claim to live a hopeless romantic lifestyle but their actions demonstrate quite the opposite.

If you’re wondering, yes I’m talking about the one’s that say and live different lifestyles on the weekends. This is indeed for all of them. The reality is that most alleged hopeless romantics are women; therefore I must be speaking of them in a grand majority.

Is very easy to alter an image with the words that best describe the person you are trying to portray. I’ve personally never considered a person that jumps from relationship to relationship a hopeless romantic. Quite the contrary, these type of persons are the ones I consider needy, the same one’s that need someone to validate their existence.

You think of a hopeless romantic and you think of a chick flick, the movies that always have a character that best fits the profile. It personally reminds me of a friend that actually reads my blog, one that fell in love across the world because she was tired of dealing with the unmannered, douche bags we have in the United States.  This friend fell in love in Europe out of all places in the world. She did the traveling thing every few weeks. Unfortunately her love story was cut short, it was one of those loves that couldn’t be. Although my intention is not to get into her story, it’s the actions that bring up the comparison.

The term hopeless romantic has numerous definitions, to be in love with being in love all the way to believing in fairy tales.  Love can strike at any given time (so they say) and for my good friend it just happened to be across the world. When I listen to her describe the emotions she feels by simply reminiscing on the memories, I can picture what a hopeless romantic might really be.

On the contrary of other people I see changing relationships every few months. “I’m in love with him, he’s the best.” That only last a few months while there’s a change and it’s a different person they’re talking about. “I’ve searched for you my entire life, thank God you finally came.” Yes, I personally think those are the people who are a little confused.

How can you claim to love someone you hardly know anything about? How can you say you love someone when you haven’t seen him or her at his or her worse? Yet again as long as some people get everything they’re looking for, it might not matter. Superficial love is the new hopeless romantic.  Well that can be argue in most cases, love seems to have lost valued the past couple of decades. It has become extremely easy to say, “ I love you.” Once upon a time the desire to be in love was at its peak, today all you need is a month or two in order to say you’ve found your prince charming.

If that doesn’t cut it, you now have a new generation of women who claim to be hopeless romantics but are in relationships with douche bags or machistas. Indeed this group of woman is hopeless, but not romantic in case you’re wondering. We can see that this group is hopelessly stupid. Every woman does have a prince charming, one that will treat her right, but is not one that you can fabricate. To be a hopeless romantic might mean many things nowadays, it should also include being a little smarter.

We all want to find that person that completes us or compliments our lives. We want that person that makes us feel like our search for a soul mate has ended. With that said, this doesn’t mean we have to fall in love with every person that comes in to our present. Who made that rule up? Shouldn’t a man earn your love before you hand it out like a lollipop? Well at least that’s my opinion and everyone is entitles to do and act as they please. In other words, “Follow your heart.” If you like to be disappointed often, than perhaps you’re taking all the right steps.

This is what I postulate; we’ll have a little hopeless romantic in us. Others simply believe that they know what love is when in fact they have no idea.  Most people that claim to be hopeless romantics on a daily basis are seeking attention. They’re extremely repugnant.  Despite all that, I can respect the courage it takes to pretend they know and understand what they preach to the world. If you guys open your eyes you will start to notice these people who declare their one-month love to the universe.

Nice to see all you guys once again!!! Feel free to share this blog on your favorite social media site.

Back in my day

Back in my day

Today one of the most popular lines you hear old folks saying is usually “back in my day” in reference to when they were young. Yes, times have changed and they keep changing as many of us might have noticed. While some change with time, others simply question where our society is heading. Momentarily when I sit in retrospect and remember my childhood, I recall a discipline I can hardly see other parents practice in present time.

The generations behind us have lost the morals that many of our parents implemented. What can we do? Is not breaking news to find out that many of our young generations in the United States are having children. They are having them at a rate faster than the meat industry produces meat. Children having children is what I like to call it because the truth is that having a child and raising one is a hard task. You might be asking where this topic came from, it’s indeed out of my jurisdiction.

I come from a generation of playing sports and being outdoors, hiking and playing soccer on Saturdays and Sundays. My punishments consisted of losing the privilege of playing the sport that I most love, soccer (Besides the belt.) Today I look around and see young children with on the go video games. You no longer have to be a couch potato at home, you now have the opportunity to be a potato in the car.

This might be the reason why America has the largest number of obese kids in the world. Lazy parents who don’t cook and buy fast food every day which simply contributes to this epidemic. I recall my mothers stories of   walking miles for a bucket of water. It’s truly sad to see how our world keeps changing. I believe change should help us become better and not lazier.

Technology

We can’t completely blame technology for the direction we are heading in. This problem mostly occurs in the U.S. The rest of the world seems to still believe in old traditions, people still walk to most of their destinations or use public transportation. While people in the states drive to places or have things delivered. Can you blame these people for being in the group of unhealthy people in the world? There’s many reasons why we are where we are as a country. The question becomes, “Where does this begin and where does it end?”

The answer has always been simple and right in front of us, we simply choose to turn the other cheeck and pretend not see things happening. Your problem begins and ends at home. Although most of the time it only begins and it never ends, it just keeps going and progressing through future generations.

What I’m about to say is completely illegal, I don’t suggest you do any of the following to be clear. As a kid I grew up in a household where discipline and manners were the number one rule. The belt was the number one enemy at times. The belt symbolized that you had broken the rules of the house in the worse way possible. Yet my mother was never big on public exhibition. She simply gave you the look and whispered, “When we get home!” Now, many of my African American friends and Latino friends could relate to those words. When my mother was in a good mood my siblings and I would get a lecture, but we always exceeded expectation therefore we got the belt with full benefits.

My mother always said it was out of love, so she thought. My butt surely disagreed with her but I knew mom was right and I was wrong. I must admit one of the punishment I hated the most was going to the corner and getting on my knees for around an hour with my hands up in the air. That usually worked and I thought about doing things twice. I love my mother for all the things she did and has done for me. I no longer get punishments, I get lectures and life stories that I carry inside for when I have to correct my children in the future. My mother like most Latina mothers didn’t believe in “Go to your room.”  I could only imagine an answer like  “I hate you mom, you’re so not cool, I’m running away!” Those statements would have me toothless at a very young age.

Our change starts at home, it starts with us correcting our kids in a proper manner. Encouraging them to get out and play sports, getting involved with the community and socializing face to face. Yet again making smarter choices as parents and preventing our younger siblings and kids from being obese and bad behaved. I’m not super dad, but it does bother me seeing little children talk back to their parents, I wish my mother would pop out and say, “When we get home.” With the look of death she typically gave my siblings and I when we were kids. There’s too many people saying, “Where did I go wrong?” and not enough saying “Not in my watch buddy.”

No, my mother was not perfect, in all honesty there’s no perfect parent, they’ll commit mistakes and learn from them. Is our society changing? Yes. The problem is that is changing in the wrong direction. Imagine a generation of bad behaved children turning into parents and raising kids of their own, what then? There’s still time to change a lot of this. I wouldn’t be able to live in a world where parents taught their kids to shuffle instead of playing sports. “Please dear lord have mercy on us!”

Thank you for reading, please feel free to share on your favorite social media site. Follow me on Twitter: @mlinares10

Once a cheater always a cheater?

Once a cheater always a cheater?

There’s a saying that “once a cheater always a cheater?” Particularly this is always aimed towards men. The gender that is frequently caught cheating but let’s not get this mixed up; women cheat as much as men, they’re simply smarter when they do it.

Can you really say that people don’t change? Are you marked for life once you’ve done the crime? Many people believe this is the case when it comes to infidelity, you’ve lost all trust and you’ve been pushed to the side and been casted out like leprosy.

I must admit that no one is perfect and people make mistakes they later regret, “You should’ve never hooked up with that person.” Okay, let’s get to the point here, while some of you believe that cheaters will never change, let’s discuss the problem many of you have encountered.

Cheaters

Cheating is a disease that needs a cure, that cure is call learning your lesson the hard way. Men and women sometimes fall into a comfort zone where they believe they have everything under control. Men are typically the one’s that believe to always have everything in the palms of their hands. They learn how to hide their tracks well enough and never get caught playing the game. This is a cycle that can go on forever and your partner may never find out what hit them. It’s a secret between your heart and your concious, if you have either.

Mr. or Ms. Cheater will continue to play the game until they’re caught and taught a lesson that will last a lifetime. Your cure is called a “HEARTBREAK.”  I know, but it’s the truth that many of you don’t want to believe. Instead of saying goodbye, there’s a lot of people who think a simple sorry and “please forgive me” will make every thing alright. There’s also those who let a few weeks or months pass by before falling into a trap all over again.

This is clearly my opinion and you might disagree with me completely, that’s okay because we’re all entitled to our own beliefs. My conclusion comes from the many people around me who prove me right every day. If your boyfriend or girlfriend has ever cheated on you:

1. You haven’t paid enough attention
2. You’ve lacked emotionally
3. You’re not performing where it counts
4. If you’re a woman, you’ve probably haven’t put out
5. Once a cheater always a cheater

All of these are primarily excuses people make up to justify their acts. Reformation is possible, but it does come with a heavy price many of the guilty have to pay. There’s nothing worse than to live knowing the person you “love” caught you being unfaithful. It’s one thing to cheat in a relationship and it’s another to do it when you’re married. In a relationship it’s called a breakup, in marriage it’s called a divorce.

People can change and that’s undeniable but you can’t change without a hard lesson in life. I have a few female friends that have been victims of cheating and still put up with the problem after finding out. I use to think that only women in third world countries would be part of such scenarios. On the contrary, it’s also those women with college degrees who you find in that hole, or like adele says, “Rolling in the deep.” This problem is called being insecure and having low self-esteem.

Reform cheater

One of my middle school friends was in love with a girl a few years ago but he couldn’t keep his penis under control. He couldn’t resist the urge to cheat and eventually he got caught. The heartbreak lasted a few years but he got the point, cheating has a heavy price, you’re better off going to jail than to cheat on a woman that actually loves you.

Now let me twist this around because women are as guilty of cheating when it comes to relationships. Women are indeed much smarter when they commit the crime. This doesn’t make it right albeit it’s interesting to see how more and more women getting caught playing the game. Is it an adrenaline rush? Lack of attention? One of my girlfriends told me she was a cheater in her previous relationships because she loved the adrenaline rush it brought out in her.

I’m no one to pass judgement on anybody, my questions is why be in a relationship if you want to hook up with different people? People want to have the best of both worlds and get away with committing foul play. Nowadays you can’t really tell if men or women cheat more. What we do know is that cheaters can’t change unless they’re taught a valuable lesson.

We seem to rush everything nowadays, relationships, sex, love and other important aspects between two people. Our society has been corrupted with the cheating syndrome and some of us believe it’s okay. We’ve learned how to hide our tracks so well that even if the FBI were to look into it, they wouldn’t find a thing. This leads people to the believe that as long as you don’t get caught it will be okay. In other words, “A heart that does not see, is a heart that does not feel.”

Yet when everything crumbles down, you start to see what you thought was impossible. Cheaters begin to change because they’ve lost everything that ever mattered to them. Once a cheater always a cheater? Not really, pay attention and look around you. I’m sure you know a lot of reformed cheaters that will tell you what not to do in your previous or future relationships. It a shame to see good relationships go to waste, but to be honestly speaking, some people truly need to go through a tough time to learn how to value that special person in their life. Don’t expect cheaters to change on their own, do them a favor and teach them a lesson.

Thank you for reading, please share this with your friends and drop me a comment! Follow me on Twitter: @mlinares10

Picture credit: Google.com

You don’t need that

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You don’t need that

We all have them, they come in different personalities, and they ignore you, distract you or simply don’t acknowledge your existence. People, I’m here to tell you, “You don’t need that.”

If you’re one of those persons that believes that you can change people, I pray that God shows you the light. Don’t get me wrong, people can change, the thing is that you can’t change people against their own will, please keep reading. What I’m saying is that people change on their own terms and not yours.

Have you ever heard guys saying they are after a girl but she really doesn’t respond? Yes, it happens. She probably doesn’t because you’re not the one for her. Maybe you don’t drive a BMW, Benz therefore she doesn’t want to be seen in your Toyota. Perhaps you don’t pop bottles in the club therefore she doesn’t want to go out dancing with you. My friends let me tell you, “You don’t need that.”

Let’s get one thing straight, not every women out there is that way. On another note, like my sister once told me: “Can you write about guys dressing nice.” Truth is that if you are complaining about girls, you better be doing everything you’re suppose to be doing as well. Dressing nice is perhaps a really important thing, more like a priority. If you need advice, is called GQ magazine. Quit wasting your money on liquor and booze and go buy yourself some new shoes because “You don’t need that.”

If the girl you’re after is more concerned about how much money you spend on her every time you go out, “You don’t need that.” Who ever you date should like you for who you are inside. This does not give you the right to be a cheap ass. You’re still supposed to offer to pay, buy dinner, open the door to your car, and compliment your girl on how beautiful she looks. I personally learned that lesson the hard way many years ago. I decided that if that was the case, I would turn in to the biggest sweetheart this universe has ever seen. I’ve now had the opportunity and pleasure to date women from all over the world, (lucky me.) “I would like to thank my ex girlfriend for making a choice that opened my eyes, thank you, I couldn’t have done it without you!” Because in reality, “I don’t need that!”

Back to the point….

I tell my girl friends the same thing. Stop worrying about how much “Swag” guys have. ‘Swag’ will only get you so far in this life. Let’s see where your man’s ‘swag’ is 10 years from now without higher education. Not that you need a higher education degree to be successful but today “Swagg” went from cool to thuglife, “Say what?”

“I have swagg, check my shoes homie.” That is indeed not winning.

Ladies, I’ve noticed the real smart girls are in long committed relationships, maybe because ‘Swagg’ is not a priority. I salute those smart one’s still remaining. If guys aren’t responding your text messages, “You don’t need that.” If a guy can’t respect you for whom you are, doesn’t acknowledge your effort and spends more time with his friends than he does with you, “You don’t need that.” It’s 2012, maybe it’s time we’ll do some cleaning in our lives, get rid of the people who serve as bad influence. Hey, don’t get mad at me for telling you the truth.

In general…..

If you have people who are a hazard to your good health, job, goals and future, I can easily tell you that, “You don’t need that.” Goodness sake, let’s all join forces and get rid of the people who’ve put a halt on our road to success. This life is too short to waste it on people who take up space in our lives. Instead, embrace and hold tight to those who influence your life in a positive manner. I’m not the guru here, we’re learning together. Life is a journey, a roller coaster that we control, it’s not easy but I’m sure we’ll live.

If people are too busy, work too much or are always unavailable, friends do your self a favor an cut them off. Have some dignity for your own sake. No such thing as being too busy to send a ‘hello’ text. It takes about 30 seconds or less, I’ve timed myself. Don’t be cruel and tell people you don’t like them, simple as that. People who ignore you, or are too occupied all the time. People who constantly cancel on you but you see them partying with other people when you check your FB, “You don’t need that.”

Fun stuff, See you guys next week. Follow me on Twitter: @mlinares10 Feel free to share this on your favorite social media site. Simply click on your icon of preference and bam! You’ve shared this with all your friends. Next week, “Once a cheater, always a cheater?” You’ll find out.

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*Picture credit : google.com

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Opposite sex best friends

Nowadays it’s dubious to see a men and a women have a clean, untarnished friendship. With that said, can men and women really be friends or better said, can they be best friends?

This is conceivably the issue with a high percentage of couples today. Therefore I ask, can opposite genders really maintain a strict friendship. It’s permitted to have a best friend, what becomes a problem is having a best friend of the opposite sex. The thought of two people hooking up, or something simply not looking right, always comes up in relationships.

Boys will be boys that’s why this blog is only for fully grown men. I’ll get to the point and take off from there. Yes, it’s possible to have a best friend of the opposite sex. Many factors do come in between but if you’re asking yourself if it can be done, well let me hit a few key points, thoughts and examples.

Machismo is a very common lifestyle for Latin men all over the world. Yet again, machismo has transcendent worldwide. The belief that “I wear the pants and I’m the man of the house, therefore you do what I say,” type of mentality. It’s specifically this type of men that can’t see their female partners in a healthy friendship with the opposite sex. Their DNA doesn’t function that way, not by choice but because they were raised that way.

Usually people get into relationships and you’ll never hear from them again, that’s because people try to avoid jeopardizing their new relationship. But what happens to the best friend when you’re in a relationship. Where do you leave the person who’s been there when you needed someone to listen to your problems and complaints. I’m talking about opposite gender best friends. Are you suppose to shut them out and erase them from your life in order to keep your new boyfriend/girlfriend happy? If this is what you’ve done in the past, you’re probably a terrible friend.

Every relationship should have 100 percent trust in the beginning. Obviously as the bad choices accumulate, the percentage in your trust scale begins to decline. Despite all this, opposite sex friendships should not jeopardize anyone because your relationship should always have 100 percent trust. If you’ve made bad choice after bad choice, you’ve simply put yourself in a bad position.

I personally have a female best friend, I call her my diary because I’m allowed to confess my entire life without being judged. The person I go to when I need someone to listen or give me advice. Their’s more pros than cons in these relationships, you get all the inside information on the opposite sex. As questionable as it might seem to certain people, the line of respect is always drawn. No one should doubt your ability to make the right choices even when you’re in an uncomfortable situation. Reason why, because at the end of the day the call is always yours.

Finding that opposite sex best friend isn’t a simple task, that friend that likes you for who you are and not for what you have. No, you shouldn’t have to pick and choose between friends and relationships. On the contrary, your partner and yourself have to respect if a friendship was already established prior to the existence of your current or future relationship. Remember that this is only my opinion and you might disagree with me completely which is okay.

We can say this is the adult way of observing this dilemma. As confusing as it might appear, this problem seems to keep going on today in the 21st century. Ridiculous? yes it is but what can you do when people fail to understand that we live in a new time and era.

A best friend symbolizes a special bond and connection. Doesn’t necessarily mean you as boyfriend or girlfriend can’t compensate for everything that goes on in the relationship. We all need room and venting space at times, that’s why best friends were made. I’ve personally surround myself with woman because I love to know what’s going on in the female brain, my female friends might agree when I say that I’m always one or two steps ahead of the game. This has all been possible due to the fact that I have a female best friend and very close special women in my life.

The machismo mentality is old fashion but old habits die hard as some might say. Every relationship should have equal or close to equal pull. Insecurities are a sign of weakness in a person. No one should make you feel uncomfortable because what’s yours is yours and no one can take that away. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, is the fact that when people have malice intent there’s no holding them back. If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to cheat on you, they will find a way to do it even if you believe you got everything under control.

The problem has never been having a best friend of the opposite sex. The problem will always be that you’re dating someone with insecurities and a machismo mentality. You might not believe it but people can actually change. When someone wants to keep you in their life, they will find a way to change over a period of time of course. If they choose not to, your answer is right there in front of you.

There’s a difference between an existing best friend and a new emerging best friend which might be a little more difficult to understand or justify. It’s okay to make new friends, what will always matter here is the amount of trust handed out. If you can’t deal with it, perhaps you’re in the wrong relationship.

Embrace your opposite sex best friend but always remember that a line has to be drawn. People in this situation already know this and understand that it’s not worth loosing a friendship over a bad decision. “Why can’t we be friends, why can’t we be friends!!!”

Thank you for reading, please feel free to share this in your favorite social media site by clicking below. Follow me on Twitter: @mlinares10

Do Gentleman still exist?

Do Gentleman still Exist?

It wasn’t long ago that I ran into a Facebook post that asked if there were any gentleman left. Well friends, lady friends more than anything, yes they do!

Before I start running my fingers on this key board, let’s define what a gentleman is. The definition and meaning of the term has changed throughout the past centuries. What a gentleman means today, is not what people believed over 100 years ago. Really quick, a long time ago, a very long time ago, a gentleman was a man of wealth and power. Which implies that in order to be a gentleman you needed to be wealthy or have some sort of wealth. To a certain extend, a gentleman was a man who had income that derived from property, legacy or some other source according to John Selden author of Titles of Honour (1614.)
With that out of the way, let’s get to present time where the term has completely taken a turn for the better good we can say. In order to be a gentleman you no longer need to be wealthy. To be a gentleman in present time, signifies treating others and specially woman in a respectful manner.
We can say this is something you should’ve learned from your mother when you were just a young lad. Are there any gentleman left nowadays? The answer is “Yes,” the question certain woman should be asking is, “where am I looking for my gentleman?” Every married woman or those in relationships should be with their perfect gentleman.

The problem today is that woman think they’re going to go into a club and find a gentleman, (Not saying there might not be one or two, but realistically it’s difficult to find one in such places.) Have you ever noticed women always look for a gentleman once they’ve had several bad experiences? well a lot of them do, at least in my opinion. I’ve personally noticed a lot of women talk about the topic, I’ve always wondered why it takes them so long to realized they’ve been dating douche bags who really don’t appreciate them. Yet it’s a matter of choice, many woman decide to stay in relationships with guys who are nowhere near being a gentleman.
What ever happen to the men who would open a car door, write you a poem, letter, pulled your chair when you were about to have dinner? Answer: They’re right there, most of the time they are referred to as the “nice guys.” Have you ever heard this before?
Woman: “He is just to nice, I need him to be little tough.”
Me: “What exactly do you want him to do? treat you like $%^&?”
I have a friend named John David who is happily married, the guy has two kids and trust me when I say my friend Gloria is a lucky woman. This gentleman might not be perfect because who’s perfect? The truth is, the guy is a true gentleman (1920’s type) and the people who know him can agree with that statement. Like I said before, every woman in a relationship should refer to her partner as her gentleman. The reason you’re with any men, is because he should compliment you an not justify your existence, as my best friends would say. I know too many great woman, it’s actually sad to see how they decide to stick to men who don’t show them the respect they deserve. Being a gentleman is not a title any man can give himself, is one of those things where actions speak louder than words.

Not gentleman like conduct:
Insults you and calls you words I won’t say.
Tells you he can do better than you.
Talks bad about your friends for no apparent reason.
Brings up your past when he wasn’t even part of your life at the time.
Can’t let go of the past.
Does more harm than good.

Gentleman Conduct:
Observes and compliments the little things about you.
Opens the door when you get in the car.
Only pays attention to you when your together.
Knows what to tell you when you feel down.
Looks beyond your past.
Understands and walks away peacefully when you decide to break things off (because he is too nice for you.)

The list goes on an on for days, if you know what I mean. Gentleman still exist, it’s all a matter of choice. They say that nice guys never get the girl, I beg to differ. Nice guys always end up with the family an not divorced. Even though being the nice guys can have certain consequences like I mentioned in my previous blog.

Can assholes (excuse my language) become gentleman? Yes, but it’s not as easy as it might sound. If you’re a guy and you are a douche, you need to work twice as hard to prove you are worthy of such term. Ladies, let’s quit complaining and perhaps give the nice guys a shot for once. In the end if you decide to go with the bad boy, you will also have to pay the consequences of your choice. Quit asking where the gentleman are, haven’t you noticed every time you ask where the gentleman are, an asshole is the first one to respond.
Asshole response: “Woman don’t want gentleman, they want a douche bag bla ba bla.”
Nevertheless I thought this was a very interesting topic to come across, therefore I decided to dedicate this to all my female friends. In order to land a good guy, you need to value yourself just a little bit more. Most of you ladies are great woman, all you need to do is show it. Hint, I said most of you, not all of you make the cut unfortunately. Just because you’re a hard worker, doesn’t mean you are a good woman, just to make that clear.
On that note, see you next week. Please feel free to share this blog with your friends, simply click on your social media site of preference.

Mr. Nice Guy

“Be aggressive, be, be aggressive!”

The one piece of advice I give all my shy male friends, wait a minute, I’m not Dr. Hitch or “Flavio.” When I say aggressive I truly mean seize every opportunity that might present itself in front of you. Don’t be out of hand or act like a douche even though that’s a possibility depending the scenario you might find yourself in.

I happen to know some of the most down to earth, romantic, sweet guys you can possibly meet. For some reason these are the same guys that can’t land a girlfriend because they’re way to nice. Mr. Nice guy always ends up last with the MAJORITY of girls nowadays. The problem with some of my friends is that they end up in the friend zone with the girls they’re after. They become that friend girls can rely on, the one they confine all their secrets to. Imagine listening to a person you’re interested in talking about a guy/girl who’s done her/him wrong, Ouch!

The problem with Mr. Nice Guy is that he won’t take any risk because he’s afraid of rejection. Yes, afraid that the person they’re trying to pursue will say “NO” an with that they will also lose a friend. This blog is dedicated to one of the most charismatic guys I’ve had the pleasure of meeting up to day. A true friend who’s always been there when I needed a friend to listen or help me on a professional level. Despite that, this goes out to all the nice guys out there that are too afraid to make a move.

My friend has a serious problem, he can’t pull the trigger, he’s simply too damn nice for his own sake. We talked about some of his past experiences where the ladies have practically asked him out because he’s shy or doesn’t want to be seen in negative way, “thirsty” some may say. After questioning the guy for about an hour, I found out that he’s never pulled the trigger. On the occasions he’s had awesome nights or vacations, it’s been due to the persistence of his female friends.

He proceeded to tell me about an experience where he was out of the country with a group of friends. A girl who he was practically in love with was also in that group. After pretty much entering the “Friend zone,” Mr. Nice guy had the opportunity to seal the deal and declare his love for this woman. He had been waiting for this moment for quite sometime and here it was. A day where the group split up which left my friend and this woman he “loved” alone. One room, one bed, one night, alcohol and two adults who’ve known each other for a while. He described the scenario, all green lights indicating, “I want you so make a move.”

If you’re wondering, no it didn’t happen because Mr. Nice was too afraid to risk anything. A couple of years later my friend is still talking about it, while his female friend has moved out of state and getting ready to possibly get married. After all the signs, my friend left with nothing. When the conversation between my friend and I was over, I promised myself to make this guy into a gambler. Turn him into a risk taker not afraid to be spontaneous when it comes to talking to women. Yet talking to my friend only led me think profoundly about the rest of the nice guys that have this problem.

To all of you guys that are in that same boat, I say this to you, “Be aggressive.” You’re better off with a rejection than living in the “What if” state of mind. Rejection is a feeling that should become natural, one that you can brush off your shoulders with out much difficulty. I’m not Mr. Perfect but I do know my good amount of rejections, at this point they truly don’t matter, you can’t win big if you don’t take risk. You’ll always end up even which is not winning at all.

Women like a blend of that bad boy/nice guy type of man.They say they want a man who will act this way and do this or that but they date the opposite. Mr. Nice guy, learn how to blow their minds away by simply being yourself. You’re already good but now you have to be great. I can’t promise you 9’s or 10’s because that takes work. You have to learn how to crawl before you learn how to walk. Let’s clarify that the look scale should be the last thing you should worry about. Albeit, I’m sure you’ve seen not so great looking guys with beautiful women and say to yourself, “How the heck did he end up with her?” If the guy is not a millionaire, he must be a charmer, hard worker and definitely knows how to talk.

Can you see yourself now?

I’m not teaching you lines, or how to speak to women because every man has a different personality, we’re all different despite what women might say. I’m simply telling you to take more risk if you want to find a woman worth keeping. People will never know what you want unless you ask and say what’s on your mind. Have you ever walked into a restaurant and stared at the menu waiting for the waiter to guess what you’re in the mood for? It doesn’t work that way right? You have to learn how to talk, the smoother the better but this has to be genuine and not an act you’re putting up. Eventually those who put up an act get exposed and that’s as far as they go.

Mr. Nice Guy usually has something that other guys don’t have, they’re ambitious and career oriented. They’re usually a package but that soft nice guy personality kills it for them. The good thing is that all these things can be changed, these are not life commitment traits in a person. You can always be Mr. Nice Guy but you need to add more weapons to your armour. I’ve never seen a fool go to war with a pistol, pack your grenades, machine guns, tanks, the air force and anything that will lead you to victory. You don’t have to be Mr. Nice guy any more. Pack a punch and take a risk, there’s no such thing as losing here!

Thank you for reading and feel free to share with any of the nice guys you might know. Simply click on your social media site of preference and follow me on Twitter: @mlinares10.

The douche bag

If you’ve ever wondered why the men you date are douche bags, let me try to touch surface this Monday. When Google, Bing or the internet doesn’t supply me with the answers I seek, I write a blog to keep you folks entertained. As a young man, I’ve come to learn the in and outs of the male mind when it comes to women. This doesn’t mean I’m an expert on the field but I am very knowledgeable on the topic.

I’ve come to realize that if there’s one thing women really love about myself, is the bluntness when it comes to talking about men. The number of my female friends who seek a harsh but honest answer always increases. To the point where some of the woman I’ve dated in the past still keep in touch and often call with questions. Yes, concerns about their new guys and things that might be happening. Believe me when I say that this was not something I had planned for myself five years ago. Nonetheless, It’s something I’ve began to really enjoy because It also helps me learn and validate the things I already know.

I’m not the perfect man therefore I suggest you hold on before you write me that email asking for a date (joke.) One of my good buddies recently called telling me how she got stood up by a douche bag, yes, she waited and he never showed up. I personally wanted to see the guy just to punch him in the face, no women or men should ever have to put up with a situation of that sort. Then I remembered that I can’t get in any of that type of trouble if I want to seek a career in my field.

Why are douche bags douches?

There’s really not a specific definition, everyone has a different explanation specially woman because they deal with them the most. Douche bags could be defined as pompous an egotistical. You don’t have to be a good looking guy to be a douche bag, that’s perhaps a big misconception out in the real world. Douche bags like to believe they’re are God’s gift to the earth. Although there’s a few type of people that fall in to this category, douche bags are up there on the list. Douche bags like to be the smart and funny guy who believes he’s better than everyone else. Have you ever met a guy that likes to make fun of people, or other guys? Yes, the one that thinks he’s cooler than the rest of the group because he has things no one else has, likes to show off and rub it in people’s faces in a negative way. Are you picturing this guy? That’s Mr. Douche bag believe it or not.

But why are guys douche bags to women?

Women don’t make douche bags, these boys (because boys is what they are) earn that title with the guys. If you were a boy scout or a girl scout you know you have to earn badges which you proudly wear. Well my friends, that douche bag badge is up their in the hierarchy table of men. Now why are they that way with women? The following is no top secret, it’s perhaps the worse kept secret that many of us tend to ignore. Douche bags like to feel powerful and in control at all times. I’ve never met a down to earth guy who’s a douche bag, that would be ironic if you ask me.

The douche bag always wants to dictate the paste and never really gives in to demands. Most importantly, douche bags are or can’t be honest with the women they date. Always leading them on, telling them that things are moving in a certain direction when it’s truly not. Douche bags can’t be honest and some women simply can’t decipher the codes that sit right in front of them. A man that can’t call or text a woman to tell her he’s not making a set date for whatever reason is a giant douche. I can’t call this type of male a man at all, these are boys in a mens body.

Honesty can take you far in life but some douche bags couldn’t be honest even if their life depended on it. A man that doesn’t have the decency to be upfront about things can’t really be called a man, that’s why they’re douche bags. Yet again, there’s always time to change but of course douche bags will resist. Why? Because in their mind, they are right and you are wrong. It’s the cool thing to do so there’s no reason to change it.

You love them…

Okay, now we know what makes a douche bag and we also know how they think to a certain degree. Despite all of those things you still love them. Something about them you like and can’t find anywhere else. You keep blaming these guys because of the way they’re but you’re the one who seems to always seek the same trades in a men. A douche bag will go as far as you let them go. There’s a difference between a men who tells you his clear intentions and one who leads you in the wrong direction. That’s like walking with a blindfold over your eyes and simply following directions. There’s different degrees of douche, you can’t judge them all by the same meter. The only thing you do control is how far you let a douche go on.

If the men hasn’t changed out of his own free will, don’t expect him to change by some divine intervention. A douche bag doesn’t aspire to change, they always want to keep the party going and as soon as you get that through your head, you will see the light. I know too many girls who date douche bags, (Girls because women date men and not boys.) This blog has made me a lot of new friends and followers, yet again it has also led many people to dislike me because of the things I talk about. I’m not in it for the fame or to make new friends, I’m it to write and speak my mind, if you don’t like the truth that’s too bad. Let’s hope we touched the surface in a complex topic that many of you ladies have found yourselves confounded by. Remember, douche bags are that way by choice, if you are dating one is also by choice and by choice you will also suffer the consequences.

Feel free to share by clicking on your favorite social media site down below, until next time. Follow me on Twitter: @mlinares10