An amazing woman

I must admit that it has been a good minute since anyone heard from me via Word Press or any blog site. Yet today I come out of hiatus to write about one of the most amazing persons I know.

Without a doubt the most influential human being in my life is my mother. I didn’t grow up admiring Superman, Batman or any super hero. Since I was a kid I knew who my hero was, my mother.  To tell you this story correctly, I have to travel back in time and tell you about her and the things her eyes have seen. She was around ten when her life changed drastically.

She was a child working in a mill on the wrong day at the wrong time. That day  she lost three fingers in her right hand, an accident that changed her life forever. To that, add living through a Civil War as a teenager. It was a war that forced most of my mother’s family to migrate to the United States. The same ways millions of others have traveled to the “The land of hopes an opportunity.” My mother always said she wanted to give her future children the best opportunity at life they could possibly have.

I can say that’s exactly what a lot of us have had. I call my mother’s generation “THE SACRIFICE GENERATION” because most of the people who migrated to the US during the 80’s in their late teens and early twenties, have worked hard. They’ve worked to give their immediate families better opportunities than the one’s they had. In a way they live vicariously through our accomplishments. I speak for all of those who share a similar experience to mine.

Like any person, I have my moments of weakness, where I feel the world is coming down on me. It’s in those precise moments where I stop and replay my mothers words, “anything is possible.” That’s the way I was raised, the way my mother has taught me to see this world. To love others even when they don’t deserve your love. I see the best in people through their flaws because I’m not perfect myself. My family says it’s one of the bonds my mother and I share.

That sweet side that exists inside of me, that person that loves music and is detailed to lyrics comes from her.  That nostalgic side very few women get to see is a reflection of my mother. To love unconditionally when you love and to go above and beyond to show you care, is a characteristic she passed on to me.

All my accomplishments have been dedicated to her, the woman who’s stood by my side since I was born. But our bond goes beyond that, I’ve seen her heart and our hearts have been in sync since she carried me in her womb.

“You can have a million fathers but you’ll only have one mother,” she would tell me all the time. She’s less that four feet tall but her heart and love reaches infinity. I’ve lived my life knowing that I represent more than my brain can picture. I’ve become the trailblazer in my family; I’m blazing my own path because it’s the only way to move forward. I’m finishing what my mother started. I could’ve been a gang member or a criminal but I chose to be the person that picked up the flag and ran with it during war. I’m a leader that won’t quit. I learn from my mistakes everyday and when I fall, I pick myself back up.

It’s an honor to represent my family and my roots wherever I go. Although I don’t do it for public recognition, I do it in order for people to see that we can do anything in this life, why? Because the journey never ends, we keep learning and setting the bar higher. I’m 3000 miles away from home today. When I get lonely, I pause for a second and try to feel what my mother felt when she left her country to give me this shot. For me to live this exact moment that I’m living right now. All of that sacrifice was for me to grab the bull by the horns today. My appetite for success is fueled by a quest that began almost 30 years ago.

If you’ve read this far, now you can start understanding where my drive comes from. I won’t drop the flag, I’ll see through this war and on the way I will help as many as I can.  I know that some of my friends didn’t have the fortune of growing up with a mother; to them I say, “You’re brave, you’re courageous and your determination to overcome is not unnoticed.”  Happy birthday mom, I can only strive to be a better son and a better leader when leadership is required. In a way, I also hope that many of you reading this understand the importance of your actions, you my friends, also represent something and someone. Make sure you’re making those sacrifices count.

Thank you for reading and like always, this is Everyday life with Mo, stay tuned.

The hopeless romantic syndrome

If you haven’t noticed, I’ve been missing for a few weeks. Not by personal choice if you’re truly wondering. The feeling of being computer less is like walking naked in public, you can feel something is missing, (clothes in that case.) My fingers have been aching to touch a real keyboard, one that is not touch screen or on my phone. I love, love, love to stay in touch with the outer world. I couldn’t live without all of you who follow my blogs. Okay, maybe I’m taking it a step too far with all the sentimental expressions.

Have you ever asked yourself what a hopeless romantic is? Are you a hopeless romantic? You know, the type of person who is in love with being in love. Yes, I’m sure you have plenty of those friends. Nowadays there’s no way to hide from them, they pollute your social news feed every day. Well, at least they believe they’re hopeless romantics.

Many people argue that being a hopeless romantic is the equivalent of believing in chivalry. For some is a notion that no longer exist, for others is simply something you truly have to search hard and long for. Let’s be real here, the hopeless romantics these days have turned out to be a bunch of phonies. They claim to live a hopeless romantic lifestyle but their actions demonstrate quite the opposite.

If you’re wondering, yes I’m talking about the one’s that say and live different lifestyles on the weekends. This is indeed for all of them. The reality is that most alleged hopeless romantics are women; therefore I must be speaking of them in a grand majority.

Is very easy to alter an image with the words that best describe the person you are trying to portray. I’ve personally never considered a person that jumps from relationship to relationship a hopeless romantic. Quite the contrary, these type of persons are the ones I consider needy, the same one’s that need someone to validate their existence.

You think of a hopeless romantic and you think of a chick flick, the movies that always have a character that best fits the profile. It personally reminds me of a friend that actually reads my blog, one that fell in love across the world because she was tired of dealing with the unmannered, douche bags we have in the United States.  This friend fell in love in Europe out of all places in the world. She did the traveling thing every few weeks. Unfortunately her love story was cut short, it was one of those loves that couldn’t be. Although my intention is not to get into her story, it’s the actions that bring up the comparison.

The term hopeless romantic has numerous definitions, to be in love with being in love all the way to believing in fairy tales.  Love can strike at any given time (so they say) and for my good friend it just happened to be across the world. When I listen to her describe the emotions she feels by simply reminiscing on the memories, I can picture what a hopeless romantic might really be.

On the contrary of other people I see changing relationships every few months. “I’m in love with him, he’s the best.” That only last a few months while there’s a change and it’s a different person they’re talking about. “I’ve searched for you my entire life, thank God you finally came.” Yes, I personally think those are the people who are a little confused.

How can you claim to love someone you hardly know anything about? How can you say you love someone when you haven’t seen him or her at his or her worse? Yet again as long as some people get everything they’re looking for, it might not matter. Superficial love is the new hopeless romantic.  Well that can be argue in most cases, love seems to have lost valued the past couple of decades. It has become extremely easy to say, “ I love you.” Once upon a time the desire to be in love was at its peak, today all you need is a month or two in order to say you’ve found your prince charming.

If that doesn’t cut it, you now have a new generation of women who claim to be hopeless romantics but are in relationships with douche bags or machistas. Indeed this group of woman is hopeless, but not romantic in case you’re wondering. We can see that this group is hopelessly stupid. Every woman does have a prince charming, one that will treat her right, but is not one that you can fabricate. To be a hopeless romantic might mean many things nowadays, it should also include being a little smarter.

We all want to find that person that completes us or compliments our lives. We want that person that makes us feel like our search for a soul mate has ended. With that said, this doesn’t mean we have to fall in love with every person that comes in to our present. Who made that rule up? Shouldn’t a man earn your love before you hand it out like a lollipop? Well at least that’s my opinion and everyone is entitles to do and act as they please. In other words, “Follow your heart.” If you like to be disappointed often, than perhaps you’re taking all the right steps.

This is what I postulate; we’ll have a little hopeless romantic in us. Others simply believe that they know what love is when in fact they have no idea.  Most people that claim to be hopeless romantics on a daily basis are seeking attention. They’re extremely repugnant.  Despite all that, I can respect the courage it takes to pretend they know and understand what they preach to the world. If you guys open your eyes you will start to notice these people who declare their one-month love to the universe.

Nice to see all you guys once again!!! Feel free to share this blog on your favorite social media site.

Long distance relationships

They say love can’t be defined by the distance between two persons living far away from each other trying to maintain a relationship. Truth be told, relationships alone are hard to keep together, anything too easy might not be as real as one believes.

If love is hard up close and personal, could you picture loving someone far away? Yes, we have our soldiers, our doctors, journalist who often get sent far away for work purposes. For those particular cases we can say an exception can be made. With that said, what happens when Mr. Right and Ms. Wonderful live thousands of miles away from each other? You might of met thee person in an unexpected place and took off and ran with it.

Long Distance

The long talks at night and the weekends, the interesting conversations that seem to never end, “You hang up, no, you hang up!” The sweet little comments, “I miss you so much.” Yes, verbally long distance relationships become solid, but words can only travel so far. The true test lies within trust, the hardest thing to accomplish in a long distance relationship. Human beings need attention and physical affection which create the biggest test for the two involved.

I’ve met countless people that clearly state that they would never be part of a long distance relationship. It’s a beating to the heart when there’s love involved. How would I know that?

Yes, I did it

I was once in love with a girl across the country, even though I was only a kid then, I experienced long distance puppy love. The first girlfriend is cousins with one of my best friends. This relationship was a bitter sweet relationship because as a teenager you tend to act on impulse and spontaneity. Back then it was all great, I travelled across the country every few months, things I would not be able to do today.

Terms

Every long distance relationship has terms, rules, regulations etc. Talk every night was probably the number one rule. My time was limitless then, I could spend as much time talking because I didn’t work full time. But with time you start to learn that things change, goals change, obstacles are encountered and people plan a future that will shape those aspirations. Well, this might only be true for people who make goals and chase their dreams.

Do they work?

Long distance relationship might be a nice experience but honestly speaking, only one in 10 of those relationships will probably work and make it all the way. Those are indeed the relationships that have a solid plan of what and when things will happen. Everything else is deemed to fail as sad and harsh as it might sound.

One of my close friends who is a journalist left his home city to work out of state as a reporter. The problem wasn’t him leaving the city, it was him also leaving his girlfriend at the time there as well. He obviously turned to long distance but she couldn’t deal with it and broke it off. May I remind you that she broke it off after being madly in love with my good friend. TRUST, the hardest thing to maintain in any relationship, specially in these type of relationships. One lie might lead to huge arguments and problems even when the lie might of been over the dumbest thing.

A few days ago I went out with a friend when all of a sudden his phone rang. We were driving when he asked me to not say a word, he reached out and turned the radio off. He answered the phone and suddenly his tone of voice changed, “Hi baby, I miss you,” My head turned about 90 degrees as I stared at him. He didn’t have to explain anything to me, I knew that tone of voice, plus he had previously mentioned he met a girl while on vacation.

10 years ago when I was in a long distance relationship, this guy was one of the many persons who told me how dumb I was for trying such a crazy thing. I smiled and contained the desire to burst out in laughter as he talked on the phone. Back then we were kids, today in our 20’s, here was my friend with symptoms of long distance love. On his way to start perhaps one of the hardest things he’ll ever experience, it’s a bumpy road therefore I told him to buckle up.

Let’s be honest here, physical affection is the hardest things to obtain in a long distance relationship. Skype won’t meet those needs and every few months practically makes you a priest or nun, therefore what do you usually think follows? Unfortunately cheating is one of the most common things in a long distance relationships. Not because you’re in love with someone else but for the reason that everyone needs attention and as good as a distant relationship might seem, that affection will always lack.

Don’t kill the mesanger

Some of you might be in a long distance relationship therefore don’t get angry at me for stating the obvious. We can’t be oblivious to the things that really happen behind the scenes of a long distance relationship. They’re fun and you’ll learn things about communication you could only imagine. Despite all that, it’s a gamble you’re playing with your heart. No one guarantees you that things will be successful, the experience is indeed one that you will always remember. My advice would be to follow your heart but always expect the worse until proven otherwise.

Just remember what they say, “Long distance love is love for four,” or “Ain’t no mountain high enough, ain’t no river wide enough to keep me away from you.” Thanks for reading and feel free to share. Follow me on twitter: @mlinares10.

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Saying I love you too soon

We all have pet peeves in this world, I, myself have some that many of my friends dislike very much. Which one’s you might ask? I personally hate it when people are late, when you tell friends to be ready at a certain time but they’re never punctual. I try to avoid going out with my sisters because they always need 30 minutes beyond the planned time. But this is not the pet peeve I want to talk about today.

On this day, I want to talk about people who think they’re in love within the first weeks, months of being in a relationship. We’ve all heard it, seen it, witnessed it, that one friend who get’s into a new relationship and within a week is already saying “I love you.”

What?

Yes, I hate when I hear people say they’re deeply in love while not even hitting six months of being together. Not that six months is the time frame to say the three magical words.The first thing that comes to my mind is, “Are you F&*$%&* kidding me?” Does it happen? I would think that it does, but it’s like winning the lottery, one in a million baby. How can you love someone that soon? Can you really love a person before you see them at their worse? I would think you first have to see a person at the point of no return to determine how much you love them.

How can you fall in love with someone you hardly know? Doesn’t make sense to tell people you love them and end up hating them some time after because they’re not the person you thought they were. This is a common trend within people that think they fell in love that soon. The exception being long time friends who end up together.

My lover boy friend

I have a childhood friend who is one of those guys that changes girlfriends frequently, like changing oil in a car you can say. He tends to tell every girl that he goes out with, that he loves her within a month or two. To begin, how in the world can you tell some one you love them that soon?

Is there a timeline?

I don’t think there’s a timeline, yet I do believe that anyone that tells a person ‘I love you’ within weeks or a month, has a mental disability. I personally find these kind of people to be needy. In my search on the topic, I found out that experts and counselors believe that four months is around the appropriate time to say the magic three words. Cough, cough ‘Bullshit.’ It reminds me of the card game we couldn’t play as kids, someone said they had a specific card and you would call “bullshit” if you thought it was a lie. I sometimes wish it were a game, I would be walking around and calling out “Bullshit,” I don’t believe you, let me see.

It should be a crime There should be a law, one that states that anyone that says ‘I love you’ within months should go to jail for stupidity plus a fine. If that were to happen I think our economy would recover and we would have a financial boom.

I’m no love doctor

True story, I’m not a love expert, but I do believe that the three magic words should only be said to people who have earned the right to hear them. I don’t mean to let time pass by, that’s not the point here. Time doesn’t define love either, you have to earn that love and time is simply your friend. Do you go to work to sit and wait to add 40 hours in order to get paid? Or do you go to your job and earned that money one way or another?

You can’t go around telling every person that comes in to your life that you love them. Love should be an evolving feeling that grows inside, when the right person and right timing comes along, than by all means you should express the way you feel.

A study conducted by M.I.T said that men are the first to say ‘I love you’ 61% of the time. I’m truly going to guess they many say it when they are trying to get in your pants or your skirt. From that 61% I can only imagine how authentic and genuine those three words are, how many really mean it.

When I was younger

I use to run away from anyone that would even think about saying those three words to me. It seems that once again I’m beginning to have that problem. Therefore I learned a few tricks to avoid being caught; When ever a girl tells me that they love me and if I don’t feel the same way, I would respond:

I love juice

I love YouTube

Olive juice

that’s nice see you later

Danger’s of saying it too soon

 (Not me)

If you happen to say the three magical words within weeks, look forward to a strange look. You might also be seen as crazy, or as if your parent’s didn’t love you enough when you were a child. Might be seen as very clingy person who will eventually turn out to be a psycho. If you fall in love that easily, I really don’t want to see you when you become infuriated, enraged or jealous to cut it short.

Don’t get me wrong, I believe in love, I just don’t believe you can fall in love that easy. If you feel that it can happen, I honestly respect your opinion, even though I might say that you’re smoking that Bob Marley stuff. Ladies and gentleman, if you meet someone, if you think they are the one, the perfect match or fit, I would tell you to simply take your time getting to know that person. Rushing in to a relationship is perhaps the first mistake you committed. It should be dating, relationship and if you make it, marriage. Then you can truly tell someone you love them. Till then, I suggest we all walk around our friends playing ‘Bullshit.’

Please feel free to share this with your friends or your favorite social media site Follow me on Twitter: @mlinares10

I want a relationship

Relationships can be defined as reaching the promise land for many woman, the commitment they’ve searched and looked for. Yet sometimes because there’s a title between two people, doesn’t signify you’ve found success. So you want a relationship huh?

“Oh, why can’t I find the person of my dreams? are all men players? why are they all the same?” Without a doubt some of the most popular lines you will hear a single woman say often. Yes, the same woman you see partying and getting wasted every Friday, Saturday and Sunday even Thursdays when the mood is right.

“I need a man who will value me and spoil me and treat me like a queen because that’s what I’ am and if you’re not that man, I don’t care to meet you.” I will tell you exactly what I heard, “Let me see your car, wallet, bank statements and by the way what do you do for a living?” Woman want to be loved, don’t we all?

At one point in our life, we all look for that partner, that relationship that will fill that empty space someone left vacant. Well actually we start to look for it after we enjoy our single life to the point we get sick of it. Than you have those people who can’t be out of a relationship. Some of you that are currently single are probably saying, “Yea right buddy! I’m going to be single until I’m 40.” If you’re actually in your teenage years or in your early 20’s, that might be the mentality you have at the moment. My suggestion would be to speak to someone single in their 30’s or 40’s  and ask if they feel the same way. The answer will most likely be “HECK NO.”

I will restrain myself from using the word love because like I’ve told you before, love doesn’t grow on trees, it takes time to develop those kind of feelings. Relationships on the other hand come and go and certain people use them like underwear, always changing them. How do you choose your partner? Are you using online dating? you cheeky little devil, you are aren’t you? Don’t lie, I won’t tell anyone I promise. Wait, you don’t believe in that, you met all your previous boyfriends while you were partying and you fell in love. That’s probably reason why you’re here once again looking for a new one.

Where do I find that person?

I will tell you where you shouldn’t find them if that’s more helpful, let’s begin:

The Club

Strip Club

Las Vegas                                   

MySpace

Facebook 

Jail

(Off the top my of my head, add yours here ——–>)

There’s a few exceptions to the places I mentioned above, if you meet a person on Facebook or Myspace or Instagram for example, you need some mutual friends in between. It will be the safe thing to do and you can actually do some investigative searching on the person you’re interested in. With that said, you would be doing online dating, if that’s okay with you, go for it. Las Vegas would be risky business both ways, sin city is a gamble, therefore roll the dice and see if you get lucky, just don’t roll snake eyes.

Why are you picking on women?

I’m not, just pay close attention and see what gender is constantly asking for a partner. Men want partners as well, they simply like showing that tough side, that “I don’t need anyone,” (Macho voice.) Depending on the age of a male, of course you think about sharing your experiences with someone. Boys in their teens or early 20‘s are only thinking about one thing, SEX. I would be really careful if I was a woman, around one in ten men that age probably think different. It takes a lot to catch young men,the issue is that it can’t just be anyone, it has to be a special one. I use to think that only men liked to have their options open when it came to dating, it so happens that nowadays women have adopted the believe. They get so caught up on the thought that they let the good one’s get away.

This is just not about men or women, it goes for both genders equally. You can’t claim to want a partner in life and show the world another face. Yes, compatibility and physical attraction is crucial, it’s the first thing we notice in another person. Thus far, looks have never really guaranteed you success in a relationship. The goal is to always find the balance in between.

Where are you going with this?

If you want a relationship that will be worth the time spent, I would suggest you check your priorities. Stop stating what you want with words and start showing it with action. Dating and relationships are two very different things, not everyone you date will make it to your relationship category. Not that is a waste of your time, it’s truly an experience to keep learning what you really want while you’re still single. Relationships, they’re not easy or simple, they’re tough rugged and draining but when you find that person, you’ll become content with you search journey. This is not an indication to stand static and wait for your dream person, you’ll meet him/her as you keep walking forward when you least expect it.

Here’s  a good one

When you date someone, you’re actually showing interest, you’re getting to know a person and contemplating the idea of a relationship. It doesn’t mean it will happen but the possibility will be there. Just don’t expect love out of dating a person, that’s one of the biggest mistakes people tend to make, when it’s time to let go, simply walk away. This is the perfect time to cut your losses short and take whatever you can from the experience. Relationships, you won’t find them in the club you will find them with time. You have to give time some time to do what it does best. Now that we got that out of the way, stop with the complaining already.

Thank you for reading, feel free to share on your social media site of preference down below and follow me on Twitter: @mlinares10

The breakup

Can you remember your biggest breakup? The one that hit you deep down inside? The one you dwelled over for months or years? Yes, the one that changed your life whether it was for the greater good or not. Breakups, we’ll hate them but sometimes we can’t control them. Breakup-The act of ending something, dissolution, termination or conclusion, the end of a relationship. An act that we can’t control unless you’re the initiator of the break up.

Breakups can be experienced in two different ways, the person who’s leaving versus the person who is being left. Before we move forward, we need to understand that sometimes people are forced into moving on because is the best choice for them. For example, you caught your boyfriend or girlfriend cheating or committing foul play, that’s a reason to put on your thinking cap on and move along. At this instance, the experience reverses, the person leaving, is forced into a choice they probably never really consider making. A really tough decision we can’t all make,that’s probably the reason why you see a lot of women put up with guys even after catching them in the act. You can see them trying to mend broken relationships, nevertheless, there’s certain things that can’t be taped back together.

Personally, I use to believe that the older you were, the more mature you became, I assumed it was a rule in life that age equaled to be mature, boy was I wrong. Maybe 50 years ago when chivalry was still alive you could make that argument. Today I sit and listen to my grandmother and mother speak about their young days and love. A man would come to a woman’s window to simply look and stare at the person they loved. A tale where hearts were broken because parents had the last word on who you were allowed to be with and who you weren’t allow to see. In order to get married you needed the blessing of a father and mother. Today chivalry is an endangered species, you can’t find it anywhere. It takes me back to my visit to Maryland many years ago where I had the privilege to observe an America Bald Eagle. An eagle so endangered, you’re bless if you ever have the opportunity to observe it in it’s natural habitat. Chivalry isn’t dead, it’s simply an endanger species amongst human beings because we don’t really care for it anymore. (We can talk about chivalry some other time.)

The one being left

Today, is hard to find people who can truly say a breakup was a mutual agreement between two people. A breakup is more like soap opera, one of the two parties has decided to leave a person for someone or something else. Many people call this confusion but don’t be fooled my friends, I’ve met to many broken hearts that say otherwise. I recall my breakup, the pinch inside your heart when you believe you were dead but somehow still walking. The anxiety attacks, lack of air to your lungs, the lack of sleep at night. Yes, you don’t eat, you think about all the things that you probably did wrong, whether they’re known or unknown. You’re in a search to find the reason of where and why things fell apart. Don’t worry, if you’re a human being you probably committed countless mistakes, that my friend’s is part of life. You will probably spend 100 years searching and you will never find out.

The person being left will always have a much harder time understanding why things happen the way they do. It doesn’t mean you’re wrong, it simply means that it wasn’t for you, when you’re able to understand that, you will be able to understand why things happen. We’re creatures of habit, we get attached to people, things and sometimes it’s hard letting go. Take my baby niece for example, she’s attached to her blanket, she won’t let it go even though it’s old and ready to go out to the garbage can. Sometimes breakups can be seen that way. We know it’s over but we can’t let it go, somehow it becomes an addiction we seek, we understand it’s not good for our heart but yet we try to meet out needs. There’s some psychological term for this, one of my buddies is a PHD student, whenever I need someone to give me these terms, I call her up. This friend knows her material and I’m certain a successful career in marriage and relationship counseling awaits her.

If there was one thing I did do, it was turn to my old chivalry ways, I wrote letters, sent countless cards, delivered flowers. Before it was over, I believed that I had to do everything in my power to go out with a bang. I had to play all the cards in my deck to walk away peacefully and that is exactly what I did. The funny thing was that my ex girlfriend didn’t know I already knew more than she imagined. But I never brought it up, I never mentioned I knew her real reasons. I wanted to keep it civil and I didn’t want to lose my good image. I simply promised to never bad mouth the woman, not my style, why start today? I knew her every move because word of mouth travels to fast. “Where did I go wrong? what did I do? maybe this or that?” I told myself for months after the breakup. It didn’t really mattered, it was an eye opener, “Sometimes breakups are not meant for make ups, they’re more like a wake up.”

It was time for me to wake up and realized that I had a lot of things to accomplish in my life. Am I the only one who’s ever felt that? No, we all go through it, some of us simply don’t want to accept it. My dreams and goals had derailed from their proper tracks. It wasn’t easy but somehow I found my fire again. I started listening to the people around me and realized how I was simply one more case in a world filled with heartbreaks. One of my friends was getting divorced, make that two or three friends. Another close friends found out he dated a married woman for almost three years. This is the life and time we live in. It didn’t make me feel any better that my friends were going through worse moments than myself. On the contrary, the breakup helped me climb up my man ladder. That reality check where you tell yourself to grow up, keep learning and move along the road.

If you missed my blog last week, I talked about Karma, it was a hit let me tell you, check it out if you have minute or two. That’s what usually follows after someone tears your heart out, or perhaps that’s what you’ve earned after your own number of mistakes. Don’t worry, I’m okay, my heart is good and strong beating like a drum in a drum circle. Filled with love and joy not anger and resent because as cliche as it might sound, the line between love and hate is very thin. People, woman to be more upfront usually ask me, “Where’s the guy who writes all the sweet stuff?” Well, he’s there, but hearts aren’t simply handed out, you earn them. I once said that love is a big tree, you plant the seed, you take care of it, you nourish it and enjoy it once it’s big and strong. I don’t believe you plant a seed and get a tree the next morning.

Without certain breakups, some of us wouldn’t be doing the things we’re doing today. I wouldn’t be writing, working out as much as I do, improving myself as a man. “They said the best way to get over a broken heart was to fall in love again, so I fell in love with myself, the best relationship in my life.” If you’ve been broken hearted, don’t doubt that love will come looking for you again. Just don’t expect it because it doesn’t work that way. Not every experience you have with another man or woman means it will end up in love. Instead keep learning, keep improving yourself in order to be ready when it finds you again.

BS Break up lines

1. It’s not you, it’s me
2. I need to find myself again
3. Hope we can stay friends
4. I’m confused
5. Need to find my self worth
6. You were never there! (Where was I than?)
7. I’m always going to love you
8. Maybe we need some time off
9. It’s not going to happen
10. (add yours)

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My epic birthday

My epic birthday

I’m sure most of you are probably thinking, “Wait Every Day Life With Mo, it’s only Wednesday man!” I know right? Why am I writing today? Usually it’s only Mondays and Thursdays. Well it’s my birthday and there’s no way I was going to leave you guys in suspense. I celebrated my birthday a few days earlier, invited 300 friends and over 50 showed up, at least I remember seeing near 50. This birthday was epic, the sad part was the fact that I can’t remember a damn thing. Therefore the friends who were there provided me with the information and stories you’re about to hear. Half the night was a blur and unexpected things took place. To begin, I was told I kissed around 10 woman, had around 20 shots, flexed my abs that are unfit in front of the ladies, got kicked out of the club twice, got punched in the face but I can’t remember any of it.

If you’re reading this and saying, “How could you?” Well it was my birthday and I’m single, which is the perfect excuse to act like a fool on MY BIRTHDAY. To be honest, it’s unfortunate I can’t remember the things that occurred. The next morning I woke up in my friend’s house looking for my phone but it was gone, nowhere to be found, I was more than convinced it had evidence, “surely you can’t be serious? I’m serious but don’t cal me surely.” I got on a laptop as the emails and Facebook messages came in, informing me of the mayhem I had caused. “Dude you were wild last night!” Others stated, “You know how to party my friend.” One of the following messages said, “How many friends do you have man?” I paused and realized I couldn’t remember any of the things my friends were talking about. “Do you remember kissing this person and this person?” I thought it over for a second but nothing connected. “Thank you for proving that all man are assholes,” was my personal favorite. I’ve never been an asshole, any person who knows me, can tell you that I’m quite the opposite, “Oh liquor, I hate you so much but you made my night memorable.”

I got to the club, made line for bottle service, came in like I was really cool, usually I hang out with a friend they call Mr. Bottle Service who was with me. After waiting, we walked in and got to our table, as soon as I got in, I noticed many of my friends were already there. The hugs started to come in and the shots did as well. My plan was simple, survive the night and remember everything that happens. I made sure my friends were aware that my table was located over looking the dance floor. I invited everyone up to join my table, by the time I look back, my private area looked like a crowded metro bus. I was having a great time therefore nothing mattered, all I wanted to do was dance the night away. The first friend caught me by the bar, “Hey baby boy, I got you a shot!” I starred at him and thought, “Here we go.” I took my shot like a champion, turned around and discover a line of friends waiting to buy me shots and none of them taking “NO” for an answer.

By the time I’m done taking shots, I managed to sneak my way out and head to the restroom. Funny they’re called RESTROOMS because I was literally resting from all the drinking. At this point I’m hiding and avoiding alcohol, when I come out I find more friends looking for me. I was under the influence but I can clearly remember everything that took place. I started dancing with some of my friends, three girls and one guy, while the man that usually stand around just observed my moves. They didn’t know it was my birthday therefore I’m sure they were wondering, “What’s so special about that guy.”

I made my way back to the table where I had a single drink from the bottles we purchased, the only drink I recall having there. The DJ is on fire and I’m dancing like it’s 1999, that was my plan all along, to party like it was 1999 and I did. I was wearing white pants and a pink shirt, you might be thinking “Wait a minute man!” but to tell you the truth, my little sister is a fashionista, she approves all my outfits. It was a hit, the ladies loved it, I got extra kisses on the cheek because I was told to be and look very sympathetic. The thing about this night was that I was a one man wolf pack, I was seen walking around the club like it was my house, in other words, I was beyond comfortable. Remember when Owen Wilson goes solo in the Wedding Crashers? That was me on this night. It didn’t really matter because I lived it up like never before. I did stop and wonder what it would feel to have a girlfriend on my birthday, but then I stopped myself and thought “Fuck that man! I’m single and having fun, what more do you want!”

The party kept going but my mind slowly started to shutdown, everything started to become images and blurs. Friends kept making it inside the club but I don’t remember seeing many of them. Their prove was all the pictures they sent the next morning. The second part of the night became a Cannon Camera, images in my mind that only I can recall. Snap, snap, snap is what I can recollect from the second half of the night. My friends say that this is where I started to wild out but clearly I don’t recall any of the things I did. According to the people there, I went on a kissing spree with my birthday card, I kissed woman left and right,(sigh) “If only I could remember, I’m still thinking about it. The pictures came in, I was all over the place, and everyone agreed with the statement the following morning. All my friends cheered as the DJ sent me several birthday shout-outs, sadly I can’t remember any of them.

I was relentless on women, my sisters can testify to the fact that I tried kissing a high number of them.In my sober stage I would be to shy to ever pull out such a stunt. I don’t know if any of the girls I kissed got angry but at least I didn’t get slapped around. A few did tell me they gave me a pass because it was my birthday, “ching-ching.” I got kicked out of the club for being intoxicated, a few girls followed me outside to wait for me to sober up. They tried to convince me to relax but in a sudden turn, I evaded the bouncers and found myself back inside partying it up. How did I do that? I have no idea. The girls were officially out of the club and I was back in some way and some how. (Ladies please forgive me for that move and understand I can’t remember because I was heavily sedated on Patron.)

On my way back to the club, one of my friends followed me to make sure I was okay, he says I was still hitting on all the ladies. Something I would probably never due without alcohol in my system. I found myself dancing with someone’s girlfriend, which led me to getting sucker punched by a guy on the side of my head. After asking my friend Gemo, he said the following: “You were walking through the dance floor stating it was your birthday, you started dancing with a girl, I think you kissed her but I didn’t think she had a boyfriend because she didn’t say anything. When all of a sudden out of nowhere this guy came in and punched you. I jumped and punched him back and a fight broke out!” Say what?

My friend was kicked out of the club, when I found out the next morning what had taken place, I felt guilty. I apologized to my friend because there was really nothing else I could do at the point.

As the night progressed, I made it back to the table were I flexed my abs like the “Situation.” My sisters say the cameras started to flash as everyone wanted immortalized my current state (Beyond intoxicated.) This was really embarrassing, something I can’t picture doing in a sane state of mind. “Wooooooo woooo Situation, situation,” yelled my female friends, If I could remember I would truly tell you what exactly was going through my mind. I’m sure if you asked me to take my shirt off for the heck of it, I wouldn’t do it, at least the girls loved the show. The past few days have served as a reminder of all the things I did. Epic? That’s probably to nice of a word to describe what happened.

My sister’s friend bought an extra bottle of Hennessy which one of my sisters was drinking imitating Kanye West, the girl was acting like it was her birthday. I eventually found my phone the next day, I had over 60 text messages and plenty of pictures to remind me of the things I had done the previous night. I also had about 5 new numbers I don’t remember asking for. Yes, I did relive the hangover by myself and it was a hell of a time as well, at least the things I do recall. I’m just wondering, Why can’t I remember kissing around 10 girls? I wished that would happen when I’m sober. I lost count of the number of shots I had, but why count when you’re having fun, (around 20 is the rumor.) Why get kicked out of the club once when you can do it twice (Getting kicked zero times is always better.) I’m sure this birthday will go down in the history books. Now it’s time to get serious and back to work because I’ve been blessed with another year of life and wonderful friends.

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Karma in relationships

Karma

Karma, wouldn’t you agree that it’s a bi$%^? Despite the fact that many might say that it doesn’t exist, oh, it’s real my friends. Karma, it has no expiration date, it never forgets, it doesn’t accept apologies and it makes you pay sooner or later. I recall having a conversation with a few friends about karma and relationships. The debate had several good points, it went back and forward as we debated if karma really exist. Perhaps the phrase that most caught my attention was an opinion by a friend, “Karma is something someone bitter made up.”

I’m a firm believer that anything bad or unjust done to another human being has to be paid in this life time. This would mean that if you literally cheated, mistreated, verbally or physically, abused another person, you have to pay the price. Before I continue to proceed, what is Karma? Where does it come from? Karma is a hinduism and Buddhist believe, (to name a couple) action seen as bringing upon once self inevitable results good or bad. Simple as that, there’s a million definitions but this was the easiest to understand during my search.

I would describe Karma as a never ending cycle, it keeps going and going until there’s a stop. This would mean you can’t really go an “eye for an eye and tooth for a tooth.” It would be more like a Jesus move, turn the other cheek and keep moving. If you’ve ever cheated, or if you’ve ever broken a heart, most likely Karma has a bounty on your head. You might have repented, or perhaps you even said you were sorry, but in reality apologies are sometimes not sufficient to get you a free get out of jail card. It’s like being a kid all over again, I’m sure you hit one of your friends, made them cried and said you were sorry. Nevertheless, the damage had already been done, you made him/her cry, then you were sorry. Okay, you were a kid, you had an excuse to act wreckless, you’re judgement was not on point at that age.

Let’s throw another example out there, if you drive a car and pass a red light where there’s cameras installed, most like you’ll get a ticket. Few weeks after you get hit on the mail with a 500 dollar fine for breaking the law. To make it worse, they have you a camera breaking the law, they took a picture of you smiling as you drove thinking you were pretty slick. The truth is that you now have to pay your dues, there’s no “I’m sorry your honor, I didn’t mean to do it, I promise I’ll change from now on.” You can bet your bottom dollar the judge won’t really care what your reason was for doing it, all that matters is that you pay the price for being negligent, naive and dumb to do such a thing.

Yes, Karma works similar to that, I’ve decided to focus this on relationships and heartbreaks because I think many of you might relate to this. I myself have found myself on both sides of the coin. Am I bitter? I can honestly say that I’m not, if anything I’ve endured the hard lessons by life, I’ve embraced them and changed the ways I see certain things. I’m not the perfect man, I’ve never met a perfect person and if you have, please introduce me to that person, it would be an honor. I’m not pointing fingers, I’m not saying certain people will be victims of Karma but I’am saying that many people out there like to pretend that it doesn’t exist. Maybe it’s not Karma, perhaps it has a different name wherever you come from. The truth is that you can’t run away from it. The Karma I speak of can be positive or negative. You do a good deed and most likely you will be rewarded. With that said, many of us run around like we are the exception, like things won’t eventually catch up to us. If this was true, wouldn’t we all be much happier? Wouldn’t we have less divorces and breakups? It’s crazy but it’s true and it sucks for those who still haven’t paid their price.

One of my close friends is going through a divorce, great woman who works to prove that she doesn’t need a man to validate her existence. After many years of marriage she found out her ex husband was having an affair with another woman, this led her to find out things that really scarred her inside. This guy had it all, he made less money than she did, had her credit cards and was spoiled like few man are nowadays. It’s usually the other way around but this friend wanted her husband to have it all. Until she found out that he was buying condoms with her money. It’s sad but it’s only one of millions of similar stories I’m sure. There’s nothing like an awful split between two person’s, it stings, it hurts to see someone you loved hurt you that bad and try to explain why they have done what they’ve done.

“I’m sorry, I never meant to hurt you,” said my ex girlfriend thinking it was sufficient enough to earn forgiveness. I’ve forgiven her but not because she said “Sorry,” I forgave her for the simple reason that the line between love and hate is very thin. Because I know Karma is much more cruel and it creeps around when you least expect it. Why am I telling you this? Well, personally for me it’s been some time now, I’m over it to the point where I can openly talk about it and feel nothing. Yet, I listen to similar stories and can relate to the feeling. You can’t expect Karma to act when you want it to, it’s something that happens on it’s own. It occurs when you’re not expecting it, when you probably don’t really care much about the situation anymore. We don’t control Karma, what we do control is our actions. The one’s that determine what the outcome will become, whether it’s positive or negative.

My friend is now a big shot on one of the most important companies in the country. She’s small as a chihuahua but attacks like a Lion. While her ex husbands shows symptons of repenting, it’s sad to say it doesn’t work that way. While his life keeps going down the drain, my friend keeps climbing that ladder of success. As for my ex girlfriend, I’m not sure, I don’t really dig for dirt. You know what they say, “Don’t go digging in the dirt if you don’t want to get your hands dirty.” I’m sure she knows her time is coming and I truly don’t care because it’s no longer my problem. Karma, you think it doesn’t exist? good luck with that and remember what you read here when it does find you.

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Are you mature?

Are you mature?

;

Are you mature when it comes to relationships and dating?

For too long we’ve been taught that maturity comes with age and the number of experiences we go through in life. Dolefully, this my friend isn’t true, age doesn’t define maturity despite the fact that many people believe it does. If you’re asking, “please define mature sir?” Well, since you brought it up, the definition that most fits my point is; “Having reached full natural growth or development.” That development can be mental, we all lack maturity in some areas of our lives. There’s no such thing as a perfect human being. With all this said, let’s cut it down just a little more. We’ll know teenagers are immature in most cases, we also know that most women act or reach maturity faster than men.

When it comes to relationships and dating, how do you define mature? We’ve all, or most of us have experienced some type of break, a point in a relationship, or an emerging relationship (Dating) where there’s an end to things. Do you remember the old high school days where your friends or perhaps yourself would end a relationship? Yes, the day when your named got trashed or you defamed someone for the rest of their high school days. You were a teenager, you had an excuse to be dumb, naive and pretty much immature. The older you got, the more you claimed to have grown up, to have changed, to have learned from those young days.

Did you really?

If you paid attention, most people didn’t change, they continued cheating, lying, deceiving the people around them while claiming to be “mature.” In a recent conversation with a close friend, we exchanged stories about past relationship and people we’ve dated. This girlfriend had dated a man, or a boy to be more accurate, that had ended their relationship through a text message. I shook my head, but not in disbelieve. This boy had decided to put an end to a long relationship via text message and email. When my friend confronted this boy, the ex simply couldn’t do it face to face. He was to immature to say things weren’t working out, or to explain they’ve grown apart. Besides being immature, I told my friend that this person was really a coward, why? because as adults, either man or woman, the right thing would be to confront such a problem face to face, not via text or email. Don’t get it wrong, the word coward or immature has no gender, they come in all shapes and sizes. Beautiful, ugly, handsome or gorgeous, appearances can be deceiving.

Nonetheless, our society has taken things to the next level, we don’t call people, we text them because it’s simply easier to deal with things that way. Despite all that, a breakup should never be handled via text or email. It’s not the adult thing to do, I’m sure our parents thought us that lesson when we were kids. At least some of our fathers explained the “do’s and don’t” of marriage or relationships. This is where you stop, take a deep breath and realize that the number of adults who act their age is less than the number acting like children.

Back to my friend

She proceeded to explain that her ex was mature, that he was different until it came to that breakup. Hmm, seems to me like that act of a child, when I was a kid, I would write notes asking girls if they liked me or not, (circle yes or no.) It was hard to explain to my friend that being older doesn’t necessarily mean you have learned what relationships are all about. I’ll tell you the story of a woman I dated, she was attracting, beautiful, hard worker, yet when things didn’t work out, she decided to send me a text. I decided to call and actually try to fix things, she wasn’t able to pick up, instead she text me saying “I can’t do this.” Whatever that meant was enough reason for her to end things. I believe in respecting people’s decisions, you have to accept things and part ways on certain occasions. If you believe that immature people can be changed by your actions, let me tell you that you’re on the wrong path.

I’ll ask you this, if you have a friend that dates a bad person, one of those man or woman who have bad all over them, are they mature? Staying in a relationship or trying to fix something broken is another form of being immature. Yet again, human beings are creatures of habit. We get use to things and people to the point that it becomes really difficult to let them go and move on. Theres occasions when things can be salvaged but that’s hardly the case wouldn’t you agree?

I will reiterate that my blog is not about putting anyone on out there, okay, I’m lying, I enjoy doing this. Karma, isn’t it a bitch? Don’t worry, we can talk about that next week with more details. Today we can remain focus on dating and being in relationship with “mature” adults.

Men

In case you’re wondering, yes, this goes out to some of the the guys I know, we tend to disagree on many things. I stopped believing in playing relationships and dating games. Like many of the women that I know, I’m very upfront, my memory is pretty awesome and I tend not to forget things that easily, it’s those Omega 369 I tell you. They say they’re good for the brain, perhaps that’s why my memory remains in tact.

If a man or woman hasn’t cherished you after all the things you’ve done in a relationship, don’t expect them to change all of a sudden. Sometimes it takes hard lessons in life for us to really value the important things in front of us. To be mature is to have the mental capacity to handle things like real adults. To hold your ground and refrained from using derogatory language. It’s the ability to be able to confront things head on and walk away when things aren’t working with your gentleman or lady card in hand. I constantly run in to my ex girlfriend and even though I would have a valid point to not talk to her, I rather say “hello,” give her a kiss on the cheek and walk away. When it came down to it, I didn’t lose as much as she did, (Gentleman card still in my hand.)

We’re not perfect, men nor women can declare perfection in a world with flaws. It’s time to start acting our age, the party days come to an end eventually. Today is simply a good day to let some of the people around you know, “I see your immaturity.” For those that think that maturity is a fancy car, job or wearing heels, you have it twisted. Maturity is owning up to your actions and feelings face to face, not in a cowardly text or email. I’m not making this up, this is some real stuff many of you might agree with. If you’re making funny faces at the screen, perhaps you fit into this category of immature people. The older you get, the more embarrassed you should be to act in such a manner.

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I still love you

True love

 

 

I still love you

Since the moment I set eyes on you, I knew we were meant for each other. As cliche as it might sound, I knew you were the one for me. I’won’t deceive you, I don’t believe in love at first sight. As a matter of fact, I was concerned of indulging another heartache by allowing you into my life.

The first time I set my eyes on you, I noticed something special about the way you looked at me. We both knew that you weren’t the only one interested in my attention, there were others just as interested as you were. The truth is that, it was you I wanted, I knew I would do whatever it took in order for us to end up together.

When I finally got to call you my own, our relationship grew day by day. I truly thought what we had would last forever. I lived a fairy tale where you and I ruled the world. As each day passed by, our bond grew stronger an bigger. You were my world, seeing you on a daily basis was my favorite thing to do.

I constantly found myself counting the hours on the clock, all that mattered to me was your love and attention. I can’t explain the feeling inside every time you saw me with those beautiful eyes. That profound look you gave me, the one that told me you were also waiting for me. It was then I figured out how much I love you. Yes, I still love you even though you belong to someone else now.

I truly never imagined our relationship ending, in my mind, what we had would last us the rest of our lives. How can I explain the feelings when ever we exercised together? The runs we constantly took as a team. The long road trips where you would simply listen to all my problems and frustrations.

What I loved most about you, was the fact that you were always there to listen without judging me. Even when you looked at me strange, I knew you only cared that I was alright. It’s really hard to think about you now, it breaks my heart that as hard as I tried to make it work, I was not able to keep you in my life.

I know I promised to always be there, yet it was a promise I couldn’t keep due to certain circumstances you will never understand. I hope you can forgive me one day an understand that I had to do it for the both of us.

I know you didn’t mean to break my heart, yet you did, not by choice, but because life wanted it that way. No matter where you go, I will always hold a special place for you in my heart. You brought me some of the happiest moments in my life and for that I say thank you. I only hope the next person, or whoever has you now, loves you as much as I do.

The last time I saw you, I told you that I was sorry, that I love you, that it was the best thing for the two of us. Albeit you didn’t seem to agree, it was for the greater good. If you are wondering if I think about you constantly, I do. I think I always will, whoever comes after you will simply have to understand that.

You were my Border Collie, you always will be, that will never change. You are truly man’s best friends. All the sheep herding and runs we took across the city will live in my heart forever. The bond between a man an his dog has no comparison. I know you are okay pooch, that’s all that matters.